留學申請淺談：（四）個人陳述的寫法

可以這樣說，在所有的留學申請文件中，個人陳述是最難寫的。它的功用是論述你個人興趣的來源，讓教授能夠清楚有效的了解你個人的研究興趣，學習動機，以及你所具有完成你感興趣的研究能力和學術潛力。因此，個人陳述一定要用邏輯性很強的最樸實無華的語言來寫，文章條理思路要清晰，內容要有創意，文字要言簡意潔，能夠充分向教授展現自己的實力，讓他看後相信你是一個可以信賴和有潛力可挖的人才。所以，寫個人陳述最重要的是首先要弄清學校要你寫什麽了，例如，“你為什麽要來參加這個特別的研究生課程”，或是“告訴我們有關讓你決定從事XX職業生涯的有關背景”。

 

寫個人陳述得注意幾點： 

 

一，清晰。寫出來的東西條理思路要清晰，邏輯性強，讀起來讓人感到是一種享受。

1. 盡量使用簡單的單詞和直接的措辭短語

    使用單詞和短語，簡單而直接傳達你的意思。避免冗長，不要使用行話和太長的詞匯，以及那些隻是聽起來很複雜的東西。
2. 避免套話，過於常見的短語，和非特別的一些信息
    使用那些顯得你與其他申請人與眾不同的你的經驗。例如，如果你有偉大的領導技能，就應該描述那些具體的，已經展示了你這些技能的例證，或是通過你展示了這些技能後在哪裏得到了給與你做領導的事例。不要采用那些太過平淡而且是相當普普通通的經曆。

3. 使用好的組織結構

    好的組織結構就意味著在“宏觀”的總體上寫作要清晰。不但是單個句子要表達清楚，而且整段乃至全文都要按邏輯順序來安排。這就需要很多深入細致的思考，千萬不要指望靠自己一時的靈感來寫出有很好組織結構的文章。
4. 檢查拚寫和語法錯誤
 

二，內容要有創意。你的陳述必須具有實質性的東西，如果你能再在創造性上能發揮一下就更好了。你要仔細閱讀，讀了又讀你所申請的每個學校的寫作要求與說明。根據學校的這些指導原則，寫什麽和怎麽寫都可能會有所不同的。

 

以下是一種典型的寫法：

首先是寫對自己感興趣的領域的那些個人原因：例如，克服困難，偉大的或獨特的課外成就。

然後再寫臨床或相關的工作經驗：討論你的特殊作用和取得的成就，無論是單獨還是和其他人一起。

最後還要寫對你所要申請大學的院係裏的教授所完成的研究工作進行認可或表達出你對這些研究的興趣

這些都是一些標準的寫法，千萬不要把自己局限在這裏。充分發揮你的想象力，如果你寫的東西不局限於傳統，那將會大大的提高它的效果，不過，你寫的一切都必須符合學校的那些指導原則。

三，簡明扼要。個人陳述一定要保證在學校要求的篇幅之內，一般不要超過兩頁紙。如果發現太長，就要去掉那些看似平平（沒有什麽特別）的東西。即使文章滿足長度要求，你也要對使用的單詞進行推敲，看能不能把有些東西寫短些。 

下麵是你可以用來檢查能不能把個人陳述寫得更短些的幾方麵：

1. 描述的東西是不是簡明扼要? 有沒有羅嗦或重複的地方？
2. 是不是每個句子和每段文字都表達了一個特別的，有意義的觀點？
3. 能不能組合幾個段落來表達統一觀點？ 
4. 文字排版是不是過於擁擠，字體是不是太小？ 

四，定稿。定稿前要有充足的時間做以下幾件事情：

1. 潤色和修改：把寫好了的草稿放上幾個月再來看看，或是多寫幾稿進行比較
2. 要求反饋：把寫好了的你滿意了的草稿送給別人看（朋友，家長，教師，研究生），要求他們提供建議
3. 最後就是校對：要做到逐字逐句，一點不漏 

順便說明一點，以上是根據根據UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON在網上發表的“Writing Personal Statements for Graduate School”改寫而成，有興趣的朋友可參考：
http://web.psych.washington.edu/writingcenter/writingguides/pdf/personal.pdf

 

 下麵我就附上兩篇個人陳述樣本，都選自Virginia Tech. 英語係的網站，其格式與寫法可供大家參考。

    http://www.english.vt.edu/undergraduate/grad_statement.html 

 

個人陳述例一：學校的要求是“Why do you want to attend this particular graduate program? ”

Personal Statement

By Thomas Blaszak

Like millions of boys during childhood, I dreamed of becoming a professional athlete. Driven by my heart, I found baseball came easier than other activities. Week after week, I spent hours on the diamond, which soon became a second home. My dreams, however, swiftly crashed into reality the day I was cut from the Junior Varsity Baseball team. Shocked and devastated, I stepped back from my dream wondering where my life would go from there. At a time when I felt the world had ended, little did I realize that another one was just beginning. Being cut from the team never altered my aspirations in baseball, but it forced me to find and pursue an alternative outside of athletics.

I could have taken the easy route and followed the footsteps of my father and two older siblings toward an engineering career; however, I sought a profession about which I could be as passionate as I was about baseball. Over time, I came to discover an interest in the medical field, more specifically in veterinary medicine. Initially my interest was propelled by a love for animals, but during the past few years, valuable experiences have both educated and confirmed my interest in veterinary medicine as a field in which I can make a difference.

With the Virginia-Maryland College of Veterinary Medicine located right on campus, Virginia Tech was the ideal school in which to pursue an undergraduate degree and obtain background knowledge of veterinary medicine and profession itself. My job at the veterinary teaching hospital in the small animal clinic has helped shape for me a clear view of the profession. Each case admitted to the teaching hospital is handled with individual attention. Patient care is thoroughly monitored and recorded for reference. I have been able to observe and assist in many critical situations and procedures, such as thoracic taps, open wound care, and catheter placement. Interacting with doctors and fourth year students has given me a better understanding of the profession and dedication. I will need to reach my goal. My interactions with highly-trained professionals have given me an understanding about how a teaching hospital operates and have encouraged me to pursue a residency program to specialize in a specific area of veterinary medicine. Meanwhile, fourth year students have contributed to my learning by explaining cases and offering wisdom learned through personal experiences. 

In addition to my job at the teaching hospital, I have undertaken research to provide a framework for my experience. As a volunteer in the Force-Plate Laboratory, I observed through hands-on applications several laboratory principles and techniques. Using a pressure sensitive plate, we measured the effectiveness of an FDA research drug to relieve pain generated from hip dysplasia. The force plate laboratory provided me with a different type of research beyond the typical laboratory world of glassware and pipettes.

Since I was born and raised in an urban area, I had minimal experience with livestock and their care. As a freshman at Virginia Tech, however, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to shadow Dr. William Beal of the Animal and Poultry Science Department and to assist in his graduate student’s research on the effects of alternate feeds on embryo grade and development in cows. Interacting with cattle for the first time ignited in me an interest in large animals and opened my eyes to the various possibilities available in animal research. In my first experience with large animals, Dr. Beal taught and allowed me to perform most of the work. In fact, working with Dr. Beal provided an educational atmosphere that again took me beyond the typical world of textbooks.

Currently, I am working with Dr. Nathan in the Engineering Department on a research project to develop a biosensor. My work focuses on the biological components of the biosensor. As with my other experiences, this project has provided me with reallife applications of classroom knowledge. Instead of just learning, I am

doing. Being involved in such different types of research has given me a broad spectrum of knowledge and a respect for the field and the information it can provide.

While I may not have the in-depth veterinary experience of some applicants, my desire goes far beyond that of an average person. It even incorporates and has been sustained by a bit of my original love—athletics. As a varsity athlete during my undergraduate education, I have developed an understanding of the work and dedication required to achieve success and maintain a constant drive for excellence. Also as a result of my involvement with athletics, I have learned to manage and balance a busy schedule, while maintaining success in the classroom. Many parallels can be made between varsity athletics and veterinary school.

I am willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to achieve my goals. My dream to play professional baseball still lurks deep inside and would be a tremendous opportunity if offered, but currently a different aspiration takes precedence over that childhood fantasy. Veterinary medicine has opened my eyes and heart to a new goal.

 

個人陳述例二：學校的要求是“Tell us something about your background that made you decide to pursue X career.”

Personal Statement

When I was 10 years old, four friends and I built a mummy. In the corner of our Ninth Avenue Elementary School classroom, inside an area squared off by the strategic placement of low bookshelves, we dipped strips of newspaper in flour glue and applied them to the chicken-wire form that my father had spent hours molding into the shape of a man. In another corner of the classroom, five of my fellow classmates painted a wooden sarcophagus with hieroglyphics gleaned from an encyclopedia brought in especially for the purpose.

I now know that this was a classroom project that our student teacher, fresh from campus at Ohio State University, had pulled together to make the book

The Egypt Game come alive for her first class of students. I now know that while we were enjoying playing in paste up to our elbows, she was probably worried about whether her project would receive a passing or a failing grade. She paced the room, she took pictures, she fretted about the paint smears on the sarcophagus. At the time, though, all I realized was that I was having fun—and that a book had never made me feel this way before.

Thanks to The Egypt Game and that student teacher, whose name has become lost to me but whose energy and excitement have not, I had found my vocation. Literature would from that time forward hold a place in my life above bicycles, hula hoops, and ice cream sundaes at Baskin-Robbins.

For my birthdays, for Christmas, and for special occasions, I received books. Nancy Drew. Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators. Misty of Chincoteague. Black Beauty. And my own copy of The Egypt Game. I devoured them. Their plots ran like films in my head as I snuggled into bed at night.

What that student teacher gave to me that spring was a gift beyond measure. Although I cannot remember her name, I will always remember the thrill of the story, the vivid mental pictures I created of the characters and their activities, the excitement as the plot neared its climax. As an elementary school teacher, I hope to be able to impart the same gift to my own students, to make them eager to dip their hands in paste and make the printed word come to life in a corner of the classroom. I want to teach as I was taught.