捧腹童言

1.     3- year old.

 

Mommy said: “You are cute with this orange T-shirt.”

Jimmy responded: “I don’t want to be cute. I just want to be a man.”

 

Jimmy learnt the Chinese word “Tu-Tu” for rabbit.

One morning, Mommy put on white bra. Mommy turned and found (unexpectedly) Jimmy standing in front. Jimmy raised his head, said:

“Mommy, you have two ‘Tu-Tu’s ’’.

 

2.     4 –year old.

 

Mommy and Jimmy went to swim.

Mommy said: “It is too cold for me. You go into water. I will stay here watching you.”

Jimmy: “OK.”

After 5 minutes, Jimmy said: “Mommy, I warmed up the water. You can swim now.”

 

Jimmy was waiting bus with Mommy. He played a 100-dollar Monopoly bill. Jimmy showed to a lady:

“Look, I have 100 dollars”.

Lady smiled: “Good for you. What are you going to do with 100 dollars”?

Jimmy said loudly: “I will buy a big house for my Mommy.”

 

Mommy cut Robby’s hair. Robby (Jimmy’s 3-year old friend) did not cry.

Next day, Mommy picked up Jimmy at school (Pre-K). Jimmy showed Mommy a drawing: a smiling face with about 10 lines of very short hair.

Jimmy explained: “Mommy cut Jimmy’s hair. Jimmy did not cry.”

Next week, Mommy said: “Jimmy, I need to cut your hair short now”.

Jimmy cried: “No, No, No!”

Mommy laughed: “But you said that you did not cry when Mommy cut your hair.”

Jimmy paused: “But, but, but, that was Robby.”

 

Jimmy said: “I am Vilkas (his last name). Daddy is Vilkas. Mommy, you are not Vilkas. But, don’t worry. When you grow older, you become Vilkas”.

 

Mommy showed Jimmy the pictures taken when they went to China at his age of 1-year old.

Mommy: “This is your Grandma”.

Jimmy did not get who is Grandma.

Mommy explained: “Grandma is Mommy’s Mommy. She is in China”.

Next day, Mommy and Jimmy went to CVS Pharmacy store.

A lady with her little girl passed by.

Jimmy caught up with them and told:

“Hello, my name is James Vilkas. I have another Mommy in China.”

The lady paused: “Oh”?

Mommy's face turned red.

 

 

 

One morning, Mommy fed Jimmy instant noodle and chicken carrot soup. (Background: Jimmy did not eat well anything. It was Mommy’s headache to feed him.)

 Jimmy ate almost all.

Jimmy rubbed his belly: “Now I am Daddy.”

Mommy burped and rubbed her belly.

Jimmy showed his concern: “You too, Mommy? You are Daddy now also? We have three Daddies now. No baby, no Mommy, only three Daddies”.

 

Jimmy had a swimming race with a 65-year old man. After 10 runs, he was exhausted. Jimmy raised his head above the water, out of breath:

“Hi… Mommy, …is it… OK ….to… lose?”

Mommy smiled and nodded: “YES, Baby.”