All of me

All of me

 

1/18/2019

 

某個春天的晚上，女兒讓我聽一首歌：聽著聽著，女兒說：媽媽，這首歌唱的就是你和爸爸。

很榮幸也很感動……彼時我的15歲的女兒，竟然這樣評價她爸媽。這就是那首歌All of me，John Legend唱的：

 

What would I do without your smart mouth

Drawing me in, and you kicking me out

Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down

What’s going on in that beautiful mind

I’m on your magical mystery ride

And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright

My head’s under water

But I’m breathing fine

You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all, all of me

And you give me all, all of you

How many times do I have to tell you

Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too

The world is beating you down, I’m around through every move

You’re my downfall, you’re my muse

My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you

My head’s under water

But I’m breathing fine

You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all, all of you

Give me all of you

Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts

Risking it all, though it’s hard

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you

I give you all, all of me

And you give me all, all of you

 

簡言之，就是花樣秀恩愛。可是他娶了個有個性的女人，這個女人不隻有個性，還有脾氣，卻沒有健康。

 

正如歌中唱的，我拿你怎麽辦好呢？你伶牙俐齒，總之說不過你。你誘我掉陷阱，我也無能為力，隻剩愛你一條出路，我決定愛你。就是吵架輸了，我也沒輸，我的輸和贏都是你，你是我的墮落，你最讓我分心，你是我的韻律和憂鬱。你是我的起點和結束。

 

然後某一天，突然感動，發給先生聽這首歌。他沒說什麽。隻是格外溫柔甜蜜。而他實在已經很溫柔甜蜜了。

 

夫妻關係，如魚飲水，冷暖自知。我知他他也知我，而都被兒女看在眼裏。女兒有時說媽媽很sassy。我和媽媽是朋友。爸爸是好爸爸，隻是不理解她。我說: “每個家庭都需要一個爸爸一個媽媽。兩個都像你媽媽這樣，日子不要過了。如果都像爸爸這樣，也會有些無趣。所以要有這樣的爹和媽。“那也是。”女兒笑。奇怪一些男孩子很喜歡欣賞與自己個性不同的女孩，女孩子也是。我固然伶牙俐齒，常設陷阱，他有時本著太太說話就同意的原則，義無反顧地跳進去了，結果被太太責備，方知自己又被套進去了。然後就長了心眼兒，可是秉性是謙謙君子，還是難免常中圈套。而有意無意之間這樣的對話已成了我們的日常。

 

可是偶爾也會這樣：某天傍晚，突然看到他text過來： the sky is beautiful。看暮靄絢爛，我廚房的窗子、living room的窗子，family room的窗子都對著一大片森林。錯落有致的樹和透過冬日灰黑樹枝的，金黃淡紫緋紅的暮靄，在他辦公室的窗前，也在我的眼前。

 

 

我知他的初心，他也知我的。