圈外閑人
Amazon專欄作家 http://www.amazon.com/Jennifer-Fu/e/B004Y218FQ
《薑餅博物館之糖果、煎蛋、菠菜、冰塊和餅幹》是女兒寫的第四本小說，我在此節譯幾個章節。
引子
埃弗雷特·狄更斯先生是聖荷西藝術館的館長，他主要負責食品藝術展覽，這個展覽規模巨大，像是一個獨立的博物館。因為那裏有一個大薑餅屋，他稱之為薑餅博物館，更長的綽號是薑餅博物館之糖果、煎蛋、菠菜、冰塊和餅幹，因為這些東西是那裏最常見的展品。
大部分的雕塑被放置在玻璃展示櫃裏，但是薑餅屋卻不是，因為它像一棟真正的房子那麽大。薑餅屋可以讓人啃著吃，因為不知什麽緣故，被吃掉的糖果會神奇地長回來。或者，至少說，這是小冊子上如此介紹的。參觀過那裏的人都說，一定是狄更斯先生將糖果放回去的。於是博物館鼓勵人們在那裏過夜，試圖當場抓住他的放糖果行為，有不少人試了，卻沒有一個人成功過，至少到今天還沒有。
薑餅屋內有一個洗手間，令人欣慰的是，那不是用糖果建成的。此外，那裏還有遊戲室，植物溫室，屋頂花園，以及各種各樣的房間，但是大多數遊客喜歡的是客廳裏的糖果畫。那幅畫是由糖果拚成的，展示了一座完美的薑餅屋，以及圍繞著屋子的許多薑餅人。有些薑餅人在縫製服裝，有些薑餅人在火上塑造冰塊，而更多的薑餅人在收獲植物，或者在煎蛋上撰寫新聞。大部分人都圍繞著一位國王，他的周圍放滿了禮品盒。
有趣的是國王彎著腰向人們鞠躬，而不是人們向國王行禮。此外，薑餅人都拿著禮物，許多禮物上潦草地寫著“獻給我們的王”。一些是薄冰製成禮品盒，裏麵露出武器、書架、以及帶有反射冰麵的鏡子。一些禮品盒由煎蛋包裹著，煎蛋像一層綿紙那樣薄。還有一些菠菜包裝的禮品盒，開口的地方露出一些衣服的布料，以及各式各樣的鈕扣和粘貼式尼龍搭扣。還有一些人手中拿著令人垂涎的餅幹盒子和乳脂糖盒，上麵用水果絲帶和棉花糖裝點著。許多人都喜歡這幅畫，說它有著栩栩如生的感覺。
狄更斯先生似乎與這些食物有著特殊的緣分：薑餅是他現在最喜歡的食物，煎蛋是他的第二喜歡，菠菜是他童年時的大敵，冰塊是他認為世界上最純樸的食物，餅幹則是他兒時最喜愛的食物。他認為人們對糖果貪食過度不好，盡管他自己用其來收買孩子的好行為。
他對薑餅屋的興趣是異乎尋常的，他帶領了無數的遊客參觀博物館，但是他總是避免薑餅屋中的某些地方。
博物館的清潔工也是狄更斯先生，因此他的肩頭壓著許多的責任，從撿起地上吃剩的麵包屑，一直到持有洗手間的鑰匙。他特別小心，從不把吸塵器、刷子、掃帚、拖把之類的東西放在薑餅屋的糖果畫附近。他總是繞著圈子避免那幅圖畫，仿佛那是一枚炸彈，每當有人提議將其取下來，他總是強烈地反對。你可能會認為他的行為非常古怪，但是這些古怪的行為源於一次奇特的經曆，當他是一名四年級學生的時候，他第一次參觀博物館...
Mr. Everett Dickens is the current museum curator in the San Jose Museum of Art. He mostly manages the food art exhibition, which is almost like a whole museum by itself. He has nicknamed it the Gingerbread Museum, apparently because of the big gingerbread house there. Another nickname for it is the Gingerbread Museum of Candy, Omelets, Spinach, Ice, and Biscuits, because they are the most common displays.
Most of the sculptures are placed inside glass display cases, but the gingerbread house is not. The gingerbread house is actually the size of a real house. It is free for eating, because somehow, the candy simply grows back. Or, at least, that’s what the brochures say. People who have been there say Mr. Dickens puts the candy back. The museum allows people to stay overnight and try to catch him in the act, but no one has caught him – yet.
There is a built-in bathroom inside, but that is not made of candy, thankfully. There also is a playroom, a greenhouse, a rooftop garden, and all sorts of things, but most visitors like the candy painting in the living room. It is made of candy, and shows a perfect gingerbread house, with gingerbread men all around it. Some are sewing clothing, others are shaping ice over fires, and more are harvesting plants or writing news on omelets. But most of them are encircling the king, laden with offerings of packages.
Interestingly, the king bows towards the people, instead of the people bowing towards the king. Also, the people are holding gifts, many with “to our king” scrawled on them. Some look like ice gift boxes, revealing weapons, bookshelves, even mirrors with shiny ice surfaces. Others are objects wrapped in thin layers of tissue-paper-like omelets. There are spinach-wrapped gifts, with openings in them revealing clothes. They also have various buttons and stick-on Velcro sticks. Mouthwatering biscuit packages with items placed inside them lay on the hands of gingerbread people. The rest are rigid Laffy Taffy boxes with ribbons of Fruit Roll-Ups and spun cotton candy. Some people say that the picture has a lifelike quality about it.
Mr. Dickens seems to have a connection to all those foods: Gingerbread is his favorite food, and omelets are his second favorite. Spinach was the archenemy of his childhood, ice is his current opinion of the plainest food in the world, and biscuits were his childhood favorite food. He considers an overexposure to too much candy bad for people, even though he himself uses it for bribing kids to behave.
He has a strange interest for gingerbread houses. He leads many tours around the museum, but he avoids leading tours in certain parts of the gingerbread house.
The museum janitor is also Mr. Dickens, so his shoulders are weighted down with responsibilities, from picking up leftover crumbs to make sure the ants don’t get it, to keeping the bathroom keys. He makes special care not to put vacuums, brushes, brooms, mops, and other such things near the candy portrait in the gingerbread house. He goes out of his way to completely avoid it, almost like it is a bomb, but every time someone proposes to remove it, he objects. You may think that his behavior is most peculiar, but it was born out of a very certain experience as a fourth grade student while he was touring the museum for the first time…
是啊，看了鼓勵的評論更開心！