舒風行雲
選擇我愛，愛我選擇！
看到一篇趣文，覺得蠻有意思的，發來大家工作之餘調節調節。
女人 women （中英文對照）
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
如果你親她, 那你就沒有紳士風度
If you don't, you are not a man
可是如果你不親她, 那你就不算男子漢!
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
如果你讚美她, 她會認為你隻是在奉承她
If you don't, you are good for nothing
但要是你不讚美她, 那你就一無是處了!
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
如果你完全同意她的話, 那你真無能。
If you don't, you are not understanding
要是你不同意, 那就表示你根本不了解。
If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'
假如你把氣氛控製的很浪漫, 你就一定是情場老手。
If you don't you are half a man
如果不是, 那你根本還不夠成熟。
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
如果你太常去找她, 她會覺得煩膩。
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
但是如果你不去找她, 她會責備你欺騙她的感情。
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
你要是穿的帥一點, 她會說你是花花公子。
If you don't, you are a dull boy
穿的破爛點, 那你又是笨頭笨腦的家夥。
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
如果你吃醋, 她會說這樣是不對的。
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her
可是如果你完全不吃醋, 她又會認為你根本不愛她。
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
你如你試圖對她調情, 她會認為你不尊重她。
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
但要是你一直規規矩矩的, 她又會覺得你不喜歡她。
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
你若是遲到一分鍾, 她會抱怨等的多累多苦。
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
要是她自己遲到了, 她會說女孩子約會遲到是理所當然的。
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
如果你去找你的朋友, 她說你亂花時間。
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
如果是她, 她會說 "喔, 這很自然啊, 女孩子都是這樣。
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
如果你偶而才吻她一下, 她會到處說你這人很冷漠。
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
如果你經常吻她, 她會大叫說你吃她豆腐。
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
如果你過馬路的時候沒有照顧她, 那你這人缺乏道德。
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
要是你小心照顧她過馬路, 她又會說這是男人的花招。
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
你若是凝視某個女人, 她會指責你是到處對女生調情。
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
如果是其他男人瞪著她看, 她會說他們隻是欣賞而已。
If you talk, she wants you to listen
如果你跟她說話, 她希望你隻要聽就好。
If you listen, she wants you to talk
如果你隻傾聽, 她又要你和她說話。
Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN'
上天啊, 你創照了這些叫做女人的生物。
So simple, yet so complex
既簡單又複雜。
So weak, yet so powerful
如此柔弱, 卻又如此強悍。
So confusing, yet so desirable
讓人又惱又愛。
So damning, yet so wonderful...
真傷人又奇妙。
Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN'
上天啊, 你創照了這些叫做女人的生物。
這不過是浪漫情人的女人，還缺賢妻良母型女。
I really though about this. But too busy to write in Chinese. I hope there's a machine that can write down what you are thinking.
Here's more about MAN:
男人有兩種。有一種男人，他走到你身邊，往那兒一站，凜然正氣，你突然就緊張起來，頭腦缺氧，手腳冰涼，全部的自信像散了架的木桶裏的水，稀哩嘩啦淌了一地……
另一種男人，他走到你身邊，往那兒一站，什麽話也不說，隻衝你笑笑，你頓時就覺得溫暖起來，全部的自信像聽到了一聲起床號的士兵，從各個角落裏衝出來，集合在你的心裏……