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周末一笑: 各種測試(轉載)

(2016-07-29 15:56:26) 下一個

1 各種測試/Tests

My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?"

"Yes, sir, "he replied.

"Can you see the radio antenna on that hill?" Again, the soldier said that he could." Well, then," the commander went on, "can you see the bird sitting on the antenna?"

The sergeant leaned forward and squinted. " No, sir, "he said, "but I can hear it singing. "

He got the job.

我和我的炮兵連長在麵試我們炮兵部隊偵察中士一職的候選人。選定的戰士要求有敏銳的觀察力及快速的反應力。在一個麵試中，連長指著一英裏外的一座小山問一個年輕的軍士:
“你能看到那座山嗎? ”

“是的，長官。”他回答。

“你能看到山上的無線電天線嗎? ”

那個戰士他又一次回答他能夠。

“那好，” 連長繼續說:“你能看見天線上有隻鳥嗎? ”

這名軍士把身體往前傾了傾，眯起眼睛，“不能，長官，”他說，“但我聽得見它在叫。”

他得到了這份工作。

2 定義/Definition

Mark, our youngest son, was born after I had completed my active Air Force career. As a retired colonel, I enjoyed discussing with the children my time in the service. One day, Mark asked me what a colonel was, and I suggested he look up the word in the dictionary. “Dad, I think I found it," he said, a few minutes later. "Kernel: the soft part of a nut."

馬克，我們最小的兒子，是我結束我的現役空軍生涯後出生的。作為一個退役上校，我喜歡和孩子們聊聊我服役的那段時光。一天，馬克問我上校是什麽，我建議他去查查字典。“ 爸爸，我想我找到答案了。”幾分鍾後，他說: “果仁: 堅果中的柔軟部分。”

注: 英文中“上校”和“果仁”發音相同。

3 坐在乘客席上/Be a passenger

I've always had difficulty parking my large station wagon in head-on parking spaces. One day I was trying to fit into a spot and, with great embarrassment， pulled forward and back several times.

As I stepped out, a man standing beside the vehicle next to me remarked, "If I couldn't park better than that, I would take a taxi. "Then he got into the passenger's seat of his car and, with his wife at the wheel, rode off."

對於我來說，在車頭對車頭的停車場停放我那輛大旅行車總是一件非常困難的事。一天我竭力地把車停在一個空位裏，前進、後退了好幾次才成功，覺得非常尷尬。

當我從車裏出來時，一個男人站在緊挨著我的車的一輛車旁說:“如果我不能停得比這更好，我就坐出租。”說完他上了車坐在了客人席上，他的妻子握著方向盤，把車開走了。

4 急轉彎兒/Sudden turn

A guest of ours at the country club took a wrong turn and found herself in the men’s locker room. She encountered a burly man clad only in a towel and puffing on a cigar. "May I help you?" he asked. "No, thanks," she answered calmly. "I'm just looking for the non-smoking section."

在我們鄉村俱樂部裏有位女客人，她拐錯了彎兒，發現自己走進了男子更衣室。她遇到一個魁梧的男人，他隻裹著一條浴巾在抽雪茄。“我能為您效勞嗎?”他問。

“不，謝謝，”她平靜地回答。“我隻是在找非吸煙區。”

5 少了一品脫/One pint low

A tourist passing through South Dakota stopped at a blood bank to make a donation. Afterward, he was resting on a cot and saw another donor, who appeared to be a Native American.

The tourist struck up a conversation and asked, “Do you live on the Sioux reservation up the road?"

"Yes, " the man replied.

"Are you a full-blooded Sioux?"

"Well, actually, no, " said the man. "Right now I'm a pint low. "

有個旅行者在穿越南達科他州時，在一家血庫獻了血。獻血後他坐在一張小床上休息。這時，他見到另一獻血者。那個人看起來好像是美國的本土人。這個旅行家於是就和他攀談起來。“你是不是住在路那邊的蘇族印地安人保護區?”

“沒錯兒。”那人回答.

“你是百分之百血統的蘇族印地安人嗎?”

“噢，實際上不是， ”那人說:“現在我少了一品脫.”

6 一學就會/Quick-learner

"Dad, will you help me with my homework?"

"I'm sorry," replied the father. "It wouldn't be right. "

"Well," said the boy, "at least you could try.”