南山鬆

陽光明媚清風起，微波蕩漾碧藍天。

首頁文章列表博文目錄

個人資料

南山鬆 (熱門博主)

給我悄悄話

博客訪問：

周末一笑: 再學習(轉載)

(2016-03-11 17:35:21) 下一個

1 再學習/Relearning

Before leaving for Officer Candidates School, I half-jokingly mentioned to my family that I was going to learn how to eat, sleep, shower, and shave all over again. My brother, in the throes of planning his wedding, muttered, "Me too."

離開家去軍校上學前，我半開玩笑地跟我的家人說，我將要再學習一遍如何吃飯，睡覺，淋浴，刮胡子。我的哥哥，在規劃他的婚禮的陣痛中，喃喃自語道，“我也是。”

2 通力合作/Pulling Together

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn’t move.

"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn’t budge.

"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.

Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy’s blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try."

一個家夥開車開到溝裏，但幸運的是，一個農民在那兒幫他。他扯起他的馬，巴迪，向著汽車大叫，“拉，尼爾森，拉！”巴迪不動。

“拉，巴斯特基，拉！”巴迪不讓步。

“拉，可可，拉！”什麽都沒發生。

於是農夫說：“拉，巴迪，拉！”於是馬把車拉出了溝。

出於好奇，駕駛人問農夫為什麽他不停地叫錯他的馬的名字。“巴迪是瞎子，”農夫說。“如果他以為他是唯一一個拉車的馬，他就不會去嚐試。”

3 拯救北極熊/Save the Polar Bears

During a trip to the zoo, we saw a sign posted next to the empty polar bear exhibit stating that the bear had died after eating a glove.

"The poor polar bear," remarked the woman standing next to us.

Her husband’s slightly different reaction: "The poor guy wearing the glove."

一次去動物園時，我們看到一張告示貼在沒有熊的北極熊展覽旁，陳述著那隻熊吃了一隻手套後死亡。

“可憐的北極熊，”站在我們旁邊的女人說道。

她的丈夫略有不同的反應：“這個可憐的戴手套的家夥。”

4 未投保/Uninsured

This report from an agent landed on my desk in the auto claims division of our insurance company: "Driver encountered a large deer that jumped out from the woods to challenge his vehicle. The deer attacked his vehicle without having any insurance."

落在我桌上的這個報告來自我們保險公司的自動索賠部的代理：“司機遇到了一隻大鹿從樹林裏跳出來挑戰他的車。攻擊他的車的鹿沒有任何保險。”

5 狗狗的愛/Doggy Love

Whenever my family leaves the house, our Shetland sheepdog’s animal instincts start to kick in.

He runs circles around us and nips at our heels to keep us all together.

Watching this display, my friend couldn’t resist: "You always herd the ones you love."

每當我的家人離開家時，我們的喜樂蒂牧羊犬的動物本能就開始起作用。

他繞著我們身子跑圈子，輕咬著我們的腳後跟讓我們都呆在一起。

看著這種表演，我的朋友忍不住道：“你總圍住你愛的人。”

6 探視權/Visitation Rights

My law partner was presenting a no-fault divorce case to an Ohio domestic-relations court. The couple involved had no children, but they did have a dog, of whom both were very fond.

My partner stated that both parties agreed to share whatever medical expenses might be necessary for the care of the animal. They also agreed that the wife would have custody, but that the husband would be allowed visitation rights.

The judge, looking somewhat startled, peered down at the husband and asked, "Is this true?"

The husband replied, "Yes, Your Honor."

"Well," intoned the judge, with a trace of a smile on his face, "you should know that there is nothing this court can do for you if the dog refuses to see you."

我的律師合夥人在俄亥俄州民事糾紛法庭出席一個無過錯離婚案。涉及的夫婦沒有孩子，但他們確實有一隻狗，他們兩人都非常喜歡。

我的合夥人說，雙方同意共享任何可能照顧動物的必要的醫療費用。他們還一致認為，妻子擁有撫養權，但丈夫被允許有探視權。

法官看著有些錯愕，望著下麵的丈夫問：“這是真的嗎？”

丈夫回答說：“是的，法官大人。”

“好吧，”法官吟誦著，他的臉上有一絲笑意，“你應該知道，如果狗拒絕見你，這個法庭什麽事也為你做不了。”

http://www.rd.com/joke/

[ 打印 ]

[ 加入書簽 ]