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周末一笑: 歌德的包容(轉載)

(2016-01-01 05:35:59) 下一個

1 歌德的包容/Goethe's Tolerance

Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool." "But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.

一次，歌德正在魏瑪一個公園的狹窄小道上散步。碰巧，他遇見了一個對他懷有敵意的評論家。兩人都停了下來，彼此相互對視。接著評論家說道:“我決不會給傻瓜讓路。”“可我會.”說完歌德退到了一邊。

2 誰更醜?/Who Is Uglier?

Abraham Lincoln's ability to laugh at himself sustained him through his many adversities. One example he often recalled was the time when an ugly man thrust a revolver in his face. Lincoln tried to remain calm, asking the man what he wanted. The man replied, holding the gun to Lincoln's head, "Some years ago I swore that if I ever came across an uglier man than myself, I'd shoot him on the spot."

Relief crossed Lincoln's face and he lost all his tension and anxiety. "Shoot me," he said to the stranger, "for if I am an uglier man than you, I don't want to live."

亞伯拉罕·林肯自我解嘲的才智幫助他度過了許多災難。他經常回想起一個例子，一次一個醜陋的男子用一把左輪手槍頂在了他的臉上。林肯努力保持鎮靜，問那人想要什麽。那人用槍指著他的頭，回答說:“多年前我發過誓，如果見到一個比我還醜的人，我就當場擊斃他。”

一絲欣慰掠過林肯的麵龐，他的緊張和焦慮一掃而光。“開槍吧，”他對那個陌生人說，“因為要是我比你還醜，我就不想活了。”

3 反擊/Counterattack

The German poet Heine was Jewish. Once at a party a traveler said to him: "I found an island where, to my surprise, there were no Jews or donkeys!"

Henie said calmly: "Well, this defect can only be remedied when you and I together go to the island!"

德國大詩人海涅是猶太人。有一次晚會上，一個旅行家對他說:“我發現了一座島嶼，令我驚奇的是，那個島上竟然沒有猶太人和驢子!”

海涅不動聲色地說:“看來，隻有你我一起去那個島上，才會彌補這個缺陷!”

4 蕭伯納的智慧/Bernard Shaw's Wisdom

In one dinner party, a capitalist eyed bony Bernard Shaw up and down, and said in all seriousness, "Look at your appearance, it really makes people believe that all the British are starving."

Bernard Shaw, examining the potbellied capitalist, said, "But, I know as soon as I saw you the reason why Britain is suffering from famine."

在一次宴會上，一個資本家上下打量著瘦骨嶙峋的蕭伯納，一本正經地說:“看看你的模樣，真叫人以為英國人都在挨餓。”

蕭伯納審視著大腹便便的資本家說:“但是，我一見到你，就知道英國正在鬧饑荒的原因了。”

5 聰明的翻譯/A Clever Interpreter

A famous writer who was visiting Japan was invited to deliver a lecture at a university to a large number of students. As most of them could not understand English, he had to have an interpreter.

During his lecture he told an amusing story which went on for rather a long time. At last he stopped to allow the interpreter to translate it into Japanese, and was very surprised when the man did this in a few seconds, after which all the students laughed loudly.

After the lecture, the writer thanked the interpreter for his good work and then said to him, "Now please tell me how you translated that long story of mine into such a short Japanese one."

"I didn't tell the story at all," the interpreter answered with a smile. "I just said, the honourable lecturer has just told a funny story. You will all laugh, please.'"

一位在日本訪問的著名作家受邀到一所大學為眾多學生演講。因為他們中大多數人不懂英語，作家請了一名口譯。

在演講中，他用了相當長的時間講了一個有趣的故事。最後他停下來讓口譯把它譯成日語。他感到非常奇怪的是，口譯隻用了幾秒鍾就翻譯完畢，而學生們都大聲笑了起來。

演講之後，作家非常感謝這位口譯的出色工作，並說:“請告訴我，你是如何把我那麽長的一個故事譯成如此簡短的日語的?”

“我根本就沒有講那個故事，”口譯微笑著回答，“我隻不過說，‘尊敬的演講者剛才講了一個很可笑的故事，請你們大家笑一笑。'"

6 晚飯後我從不工作/I Never Work After Supper

A penny-pinching farmer didn't want his hired hand to stop working. One morning,he told the farmhand, "It's such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don't we save time and eat lunch now?"

The hired man agreed. The farm's wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes,and the two men ate again.

When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, "While we're still at the table, let's have supper too." They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.

"Now that the meals are done," the farmer announced, we can go out and work all day without interruption."

"Oh. no," the farmhand answered. "I never work after supper."

一位農場主非常吝嗇，不想讓他雇傭的幫手停下來休息。一天旱上，他對幫手說:“從地裏回來，又要洗手吃飯，又花時間，真是太不方便了。我們何不省點時間，現在就吃午飯呢？”

雇員同意了。農場主的妻子端進來一些冷肉和炸土豆。於是，兩個人又開始吃起來。

吃完後，吝高鬼說:“既然我們還在桌子邊，那我們連晚飯也吃了吧。”這次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和雜燴青菜。於是兩個人又吃起來。

“現在三頓飯都吃過了，”農場主宣稱道，“我們便可以出去一整天不停地幹活了。”

“哦，不，”那幫手回答說，“晚飯後我從不工作。”

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