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周末一笑: 請假(轉載)

(2015-09-25 15:16:49) 下一個

1 請假

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, "And how would you do that?"

The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"

The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."

The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."

The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"

The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

兩個工廠的工人在聊天。女子說：“我能讓老板給我一天假。”

男子回答說，“你怎麽做呢？”

女子說，“等著瞧吧。”隨後，她在天花板上倒掛著。

老板進來說，“你在幹什麽？”

女子回答說：“我是個電燈泡。”

老板說，“你做得太多都瘋了。我想你需要休息一天。”

那名男子開始跟隨她，老板說，“你要去哪兒？”

那名男子說，“我要回家了。我不能在黑暗中工作。”

2 這到底是哪兒

Stormy weather diverted our Dallas-bound flight to another airport.

As we approached the runway, the pilot came on the intercom: "For those of you who are not familiar with the area, this is Lubbock, Texas."

Then he paused. "And for those of you who are familiar with this area, I think this is Lubbock, Texas."

雨暴天氣使我們本來飛往達拉斯的航班不得不轉飛另一個機場。

當我們的飛機靠近跑道的時候，飛行員通過對講機說：“對於那些對這個地區不熟悉的人，這裏是德州的Lubbock”。

然後他停頓了一下，接著說，“對於那些熟悉這個地區的人，我感覺這裏就是德州的Lubbock了”。

3 三隻海龜

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"

從前，有三隻海龜。有一天，他們決定去野餐。當他們到了野餐地，他們意識到他們忘記帶蘇打水。年齡最小的烏龜說，直到他回來，如果他們不會吃三明治的話，他會回家去取。一個星期過去了，然後是一個月，最後一年，兩隻烏龜說：“噢，來吧，讓我們吃三明治。”突然，小烏龜從石頭後麵突然出現了，說道：“如果你們這樣，我就不去取了！”

4 彈鋼琴

A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation.

B: Yes, of course.

A: Great. I never could before.

A：醫生，我就能在手術後彈鋼琴。

B：是的，當然。

A: 太棒了。我以前不會彈。

5 吉娃娃怎麽可能會要了羅威納犬的命

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that Rottweiler outside?"

"Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

"Well, I think my Chihuahua just killed him."

"What are you talking about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?"