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1 Whose Dog Was the Smartest誰的狗最聰明
Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.
The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and divided the contents into four equal piles.
The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.
The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.
四個朋友在為誰的狗最聰明而爭吵。第一個人是個工程師，他對自己的狗喊道：“T形角，使出你的本領來。”這隻狗便跑向一個書桌，拉出一張紙和一支鉛筆，畫出了一個完美的三角形。
第二個人是個會計。他對他的狗說：“珠算法，上吧。”那狗直奔廚房，用嘴咬開一袋甜餅並把餅分成了四等份。
第三個人是位藥劑師。他命令他的狗----量杯，表現一下。但見那狗徑直走向冰箱，叼出一瓶牛奶並精確地把八盎司牛奶倒入一個量杯中。
最後一位是政府職員。“休息時間，”他對自己的狗喊叫，“去吧。”話還未落，那狗便跳將起來，踏汙了那張紙，吃掉了所有的甜餅，喝光了那杯牛奶。
2 A Pleasant Surprise驚喜
A friend of mine had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed.
A few days later a neighbor came over to visit my friend. After admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen. "
我朋友有很長一段時間一直想在廚房添置一些廚櫃，但她丈夫堅持說這是鋪張浪費。她去娘家過了兩周，回到家來，發現廚房裏新添置了漂亮的廚櫃，這令她喜出望外。
幾天後，鄰居來拜訪我朋友。欣賞了新廚櫃後，鄰居說：“你不在家的時候，你丈夫弄失了火。我們都深感慶幸隻是廚房遭了殃。
3 A Clever dog聰明狗
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
"How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
"Five dollars.
"Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."
一位養狗人宣稱：要是給了愛犬錢，它便會到賣報亭買份報紙來。他的朋友堅持要來個演示，並給了狗一些錢。狗一溜小跑著去了。但一個小時過去了，仍不見它帶報紙回來。
“你給了它多少錢？”狗的主人問。
“五元。”
“這就是了。你給它五元錢時，它就去看電影。”
4 Were on That Mountain Over There我們在那座山上
My son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass to determine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronics engineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global Positioning System receiver.
"I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above the earth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"
落基山脈徒步旅行時，由於爬得太高，我和兒子都迷了路。我立刻拿出地圖和羅盤來確定我們是在哪幾走錯了路。我的兒子是位電子學工程師，他卻馬上從包裏拿出一個全球定位係統接收器。他很小心地把儀器鎖定在地球上空的四個衛星上，認真地看了看儀器上的圖。然後他自豪地宣布道：“我知道我們的確切位置了。我們就在那邊的那個山上！”
5 Im Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer it讓我的司機來回答
A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.
"sounds great," the scientist said.
When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
"Yes," said one processor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.
The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. "
一個著名科學家起程去再作一個講座。他的司機出了個主意：“老板，您的講座我已聽了這麽多次了。我打賭我能作這個講座，讓您休息一個晚上。”
“那太好了。”科學家說。
到了禮堂，科學家戴上了司機的帽子，坐在了後排。而司機走上了講台，作講演。講演結束後，他問聽眾是否有什麽問題。
一個教授說有，並提出了一個高深的學術問題。
司機一時被問懵了，但很快就鎮定下來。“這很容易，”他說，“太容易了，我要讓我的司機來回答。”
6 It Seemed like Hours猶如幾個時辰
As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.
作為一個小學的樂隊指揮，為了確保學生投入足夠的時間練習，我要求他們上交由他們父母簽字的練習單。可是有一次，一位家長的簽字把我逗樂了。練習單上寫著：“練習了17分鍾，但猶如幾個時辰。”
問好雪花！我最近周末也是特忙，很理解你：）
雪花，周中快樂！
哈哈，君子，讀笑話的人一定也幸福的人：）
The moral of the story 1: the one who knows to enjoy life is the smartest one
鬆鬆就是這樣的人。
問好鬆鬆！
含嫣好！也祝含嫣中秋節快樂如意，圓圓美美！
點點好！一定又讓你想起你的小愛狗了：）
點點，中秋節快樂！
哈哈，小小，中秋節快樂！
南南好！看來你家有條非常不錯的狗：）
那冰皮月餅是準備學習的：）
南南，中秋快樂！
鬆鬆中秋佳節快樂！
翛然好！中秋快樂！
Thank you Rebecca for your comments.I am glad you like them:)
Happy Mid-Autumn Festival to you and your family,too:)
美麗好！那是具有現代高科技的書呆氣哈～
美麗，周末，中秋節快樂！
叔丁好！那隻狗很會娛樂哈～
叔丁，周末，中秋節快樂！
尼斯好！
也遙祝尼斯周末，中秋快樂！
花甲老翁好！聰明的狗狗很會消費：）
花甲老翁，周末，中秋快樂！
"I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. " What a quick comeback. LOL...
"Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours." What a "torture" for the parent. LOL...
Songsong, I enjoyed each and every one of the jokes. Thank you for all the laughs.
Happy Mid-Autumn Festival to you and your family.
鬆鬆周末+中秋快樂!
提前遙祝鬆鬆和家人中秋節快樂！
你這裡總能開心微笑的;這就是了。你給它五元錢時，它就去看電影