1 An energetic wife精力旺盛的妻子
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?
Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.
Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?
Husband: I… I happened to be inside the coat.
鄰居：昨天夜裏我聽見你家屋前有很大的聲音，你們出了什麽事嗎？
丈夫：沒什麽。我的妻子有點不高興，把我的大衣給扔到窗外去了。鄰居：你的大衣？扔掉大衣怎麽會有那麽大的聲音？
丈夫：我……我恰好也在大衣裏麵。
2 Good sight好視力
Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?
Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.
律師：你說你離事故現場約有35英尺，你能看清多遠的東西？
證人：這麽說吧，早上起床後我看見太陽，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬英裏遠。
3 Who's better satisfied? 誰更滿足？
Who's better satisfied? A person with six children or a person with $6 million? Why?
The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.
一個有六個孩子的人和一個有600萬美元的人，誰更滿足？為什麽？
當然是有六個孩子的那個，因為有600萬美元那個還想要得更多。
4 Marry Him嫁給他
Jane loved Tony, but she worried about all the money he squandered when they went out together. “How can I stop Tony spending so much money on me?” She asked her mother.
“Marry him!”
簡很愛托尼，但是當他們一起出去的時候，托尼總是大手大腳地花錢，這使簡感到很不安。“我怎樣才能不讓托尼在我身上花那麽多錢呢？”她問自已的母親。
“嫁給他！”
5 Hen's Legs母雞的腿
Son: Why are hen's legs so short?
Dad: You're a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieces when laying?
兒子：為什麽母雞的腿這麽短呢？
父親：你真笨。如果母雞的腿太長，它們下蛋的時候，雞蛋豈不都摔碎了？
6 Two chickens兩隻雞
Uncle Silas had lighted his pipe for a comfortable smoke，when Aunt Mary looked up from her knitting and said：“Silas，do you know that Sunday next will be the thirtieth anniversary of our wedding？”
“I swan，”said Silas，“is that so，and what about it？”
“Oh，nothing，”said Aunt Mary，“Only thought maybe we ought to kill them two Rhode Island Red chickens.”
“But，Mary，”said Uncle Silas，“How can you blame them two Rhode Island Red chickens for what happened thirty years ago？”
賽拉斯大叔點燃了煙鬥想好好吸一口，瑪麗大媽織著毛衣抬眼說：“賽拉斯，你知不知道下星期日是我們結婚三十周年？”
“老天哪，”賽拉斯說，“是嗎？那又怎麽樣？”
“噢，沒什麽，”瑪麗大媽應道，“我隻是想，也許我們該把那兩隻羅得島紅雞宰了。”
“可是，瑪麗，”賽拉斯大叔說，“你怎麽能夠把三十年前發生的事怪到那兩隻羅得島紅雞的頭上呢？”
美麗好！希望我以後能找到幸福婚姻的幽默：）
問好南南，祝你笑口常開：）
點點幽默：）真沒想到我們的視力都這麽好~~~上帝造雞的時候，一定想到了雞蛋的安全問題~~~舉重出身的妻子我們隻能可望而不可及了~
問好點點！
問好叔丁：）
叔丁，周末快樂！
問好貝卡！謝謝你喜歡和鼓勵：）
貝卡，周末快樂！
雪花總結的好：）
雪花，周末快樂！
哈哈，桐兒，周末快樂！
1。幽默的丈夫。 3。智慧。 4。聰明的媽
看到第一個最後一句就忍不住笑出聲了。