我剛才無意中看到一個校內好友分享的日誌，日誌的名稱叫做 出國就像A片，看得人爽，演的人不知道有多辛苦。因為我不太喜歡讀這樣題目的日誌，所以我也沒有bother去讀這篇日誌的內容，但看了這篇日誌的題目，我也在問我自己出國像什麽。
其實我覺得出國什麽都不想像。我在美國10多年，我極少會care別人對於我在美國這些年的生活的看法是怎樣的，因為我覺得我活著不是給別人看的。別人讀了我的日誌，不管是說我10年過的值了或者說太悲劇了，我覺得every1 is entitled to his/her own opinion, however, at the end of the day,隻要我自己明白我是吃幾碗幹飯的，隻要我自己feel happy and satisfied w/ the life that i been living for the past how many yrs, thats good enough for me.
說實話，有些時候我覺得我來美國這10多年是有些時候會感到無奈，辛苦。我記得我上高中的時候，有一次在ap_chemistry的課上，我跟我的高中鐵哥們，matt_kresca,我倆瞎聊天，我就跟他講，in China, my life is like here(用手比戶一下，嗬嗬), however, when i first came to America, my life fall to the bottom, however, the reason that i_was willing to come to america is that i believe if i work hard, some day, i will get to the top. Whether i will get to the top or not, idk, but i rather believe thats the case. 所以我不知道其他人出國的人怎麽想，但至少來美國這些年，我還是挺enjoy這種辛苦的，因為至少我在做我認為值得的事情，也沒有逼著我說我必須要大學畢業，我必須要學什麽電子工程。但因為我覺得這麽做是對的，所以我會這麽做。如果這麽做的結果是我要活的辛苦一點，so_be_it..但the moment when my dream becomes reality, the feeling i get is really priceless, it is an experience that im going to remember for a long long long time. I will remember the fact that all the frustrations, all the nighters that i had to pull to study for the ece courses, however, i will also remember how happy i felt when i received my diploma or realized that my relationship w/ the xxxx's ece department is officially over, lol.
而且我記得我在北京的時候，我每天去我在北京住的地方的對過吃飯，我看那些服務員，我覺得他們也挺辛苦的，隻是我覺得他們辛苦多多少少有些無奈，因為你20幾歲一天能幹10多個小時，30幾歲能幹10幾個小時，可這麽幹下去說句不太好聽的，有頭嗎。但我的這種辛苦，至少im doing something that i want to do,寫到這裏,我突然feel bad for those waitress that i met in bj. I feel lucky and fortunate that i have the opportunity to go to school between the age of 7-22, instead of trying to make ends meet. But i guess thats just life, and there are certain things in life that we just don't have control over, work w/ what you have and make the most out of it...
1/23/11
