上帝得不到終生職位
(2007-06-23 21:28:09)
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16個原因:上帝得不到大學裏的終生職位
1: 因為他總共隻發表了一部著作 (注:聖經)
2: 而且是用希伯來語寫的 (注:語言不通用)
3: 著作沒有任何索引
4: 也沒有發表在指定的期刊
5: 人們甚至懷疑這著作是不是他寫的
6: 即使是他真的創造了這個世界,除此之外,他還作了什麽?
7: 他和別人的合作太有限
8: 科學界感到很難重複他的實驗結果 (注:創世紀,天,地,人 ... )
9: 他從不申請獲得批準,就用人來做實驗
10: 當一個實驗做壞了,他就把他們都淹死來掩蓋失敗的實驗結果 (注: 上帝創造了人後,人們不聽他的,開始反叛,腐敗,上帝就發洪水把所有人和動物都淹死,隻有躲在諾亞方舟裏的才活了下來)
11: 當實驗對象沒有按他想象的來表現,他就懲罰他們,或把他們從實驗中去除 (注: 上帝經常懲罰不聽他的,且經常把他們處死,上千人的處死。 實驗紀錄要客觀屬實,不能憑主觀來隻挑選好的結果, 而去掉不好的結果)
12: 他從不來到課堂,隻讓學生們自己去讀那本書
13: 他讓他的兒子來替他教課 (注: 指耶穌)
14: 他把他最早的兩名學生開除並趕出校園,因為他們學得太多了 (注: 亞當夏娃偷吃了果, 因而知道了很多.... 上帝把他們逐出伊甸園)
15: 雖然他隻有十項要求, 但絕大多數學生都不能通過考試 (注: 指上帝的10 commandmants。 他曾被列入美國的憲法,直至大概在20世紀中。 多數人都無法遵從所有這10條。 我把這10條列在本頁最後)
16: 他坐辦公時間太少, 和學生見麵的地點都是在山頂上 (注: 上帝總共出現過幾次,都是在山頂上, 一般人遇不到看不到)
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16 reasons why God can’t get tenure at a University or published in peer reviewed journals.
1. Because he has only one major publication
2. And it was in Hebrew
3. And it had no references
4. And it was not published in a refereed journal
5. And some even doubted that He wrote it himself
6. It may be true that He created the world, but what has he done since?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited
8. The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate his results
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects
11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, He often punished them, or just deleted them from the sample
12. He rarely came to class; He just told students to read the book
13. He has His son teach the class
14. He expelled His first two students for learning too much
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed His tests
16. His office hours were infrequent, and usually held on a mountaintop.
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10 commandments:
I am the Lord your God
Thou shalt have no other gods before me
Thou shalt not make for thyself an idol
Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of thy God
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy (星期六, 不準做任何工作)
Honor thy Mother and Father
Thou shalt not murder
Thou shalt not commit adultery
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house.