一兒一女一枝花
俗話說，好記性不如爛筆頭。孩子們成長得太快了，有許多精彩的瞬間我都記不太清了。趁現在有點時間，抓緊記點。
正文
2006-06-08
Ai, what can I do with my inmature parents?!
Everything in my life so far looks pretty good, at least to me, except I have a pair of inmature parents to deal with from time to time. Yesterday afternoon, I got an urgent phone call from my Mom, sounded really angry and hurt, "I can't stand your father anymore, buy one ticket for us, send either me or him back home, we can't live together anymore. I've had enough!"
I had to rush back home to do an immediate mediation session. It took the whole afternoon to let everyone spit out what have been bothering them, and what ignited the fight with each other. It was all small and trivial in my mind, but not to them. Things were further compounded by their bad communication style evolved over the last 40 years or so based on a semi-arranged marriage. Of course, at the end, my father apologized, my mother let it go.
I talked with my husband after he got home, he gave me his full support and comforted me. But, deep in my heart, I just don't feel happy about it at all. Well, I've done what I can, it's really beyond my capability. All I can do is wish for the best for them...
Thank you for reading. I feel a little bit better getting it off my chest...
A couple of replies I got:
我家父母是我外公指定的，先結婚後戀愛的。主要矛盾是我爸爸是“工作狂”，而且，工作之餘，還有很多業餘愛好，等這些都完了，留給我媽的時間就很少了。我媽退休後雖然上了老年大學，交了很多朋友，但也受不了他。他沒有周末，請我媽去吃頓飯，可以接20個電話。嘿嘿。。。
每次都是這個原因。我就得先聽我媽抱怨啊，然後，車軲轆話勸啊。然後，把老頭兒叫來“教訓”一下。我經常跟他們說：
1。現在，我長大了，你們老了，就象我的孩子一樣，我現在在國外，國內也沒有別的孩子照顧你們，你們兩個不搞好安定團結，還指望誰呢？別老讓我操心好不好？
好好日子不好好過，老鬧內訌？
2。年輕夫妻老來伴兒。這人都活大半輩子了，對方的性格也早都了解了，改變不了就接受吧。今天他還能惹你生氣，還能跟你吵架。等老的動不了了，生病住院了，你恨不得他從病床上跳起來跟你吵，對吧？今天你還生氣餓著他，不給他作飯，等他病了老了，吃不動了，你恨不得山珍海味伺候他吧？趕緊珍惜好不好？
3。你喜歡“愛寶”吧，你這樣老生氣，肯定不會太健康，你不還想看愛寶結婚生寶寶嗎？你得學會修養心性，健康長壽，可以享受重孫繞膝的樂趣，那多好。那臭老頭，別理他！等他退休了，肯定巴巴兒的求你帶他玩兒。
。。。
反正啊，就跟對孩子一樣。雖然她已經過了更年期，可還是隔一段發作一回，好象心理毒素要排泄一樣。隻好陪著哄著。。。我還專門為此換了長途計劃，每月交固定錢，可以免費1000分鍾，希望能夠。。。
咱們抱抱吧。。。
- Thank you for sharing your experience, I think your parents are lovely!
這人都活大半輩子了，對方的性格也早都了解了，改變不了就接受吧! You said it so correctly! I have been telling them the same thing over and over again, they just don't get it. They would rather bickering with each other everyday. Sometimes I can't help to think, well, there is not much that I can do if don't have any willingness to change, out of sight, out of mind.
- 唉呀，沒那麽嚴重的，就如常滿說的，老人有時就是孩子。by wonderkid
俗話說，“老小，老小”。 就是年紀大的人，常常就會表現出象小孩子一樣的行為。 老夫妻拌嘴，就如我們小時候兄弟姐妹間的爭吵一樣， 開始激烈，過去就過去，都會原諒對方的， 你不必擔心。
我父母也是這樣的， 但是我知道他們其實好得很， 所以每次拌嘴總是“各打50大板”， 把誰都說一遍， 他們就沒輒了。 ：) 就像小時我媽媽對我和我哥一樣， 不過我隻是和事佬而已啦。。。。
還有，一點提醒， 父母間的事，可以輕鬆和老公提起， 但是不要太“嚴重”地提起， 因為久了， 會讓你老公對你父母產生負麵印象。 雖然夫妻感情好什麽都可以share, 但是適當自己保留的還是自己保留，何況你父母和你們住在一起。 不好意思，隻是個人的想法而已。 不一定適用你家。 ：)
Thank you all for your reply! Yes, you're all right about it, and I understand it too. I think I was pretty objective and calm yesterday when I pointed out their problems, and how they could have made each other feel better if they expressed themselves in a different way. I didn't get emotional at all at the time.
But this morning, I was certainly not myself when I woke up. It still got me.
Thank you for your comments and analysis, I feel much much better now!
And to that Crazydog said: • It sure is hard for a daughter to play parent to parents! Hug
Ai, what can I do with my inmature parents?!
Everything in my life so far looks pretty good, at least to me, except I have a pair of inmature parents to deal with from time to time. Yesterday afternoon, I got an urgent phone call from my Mom, sounded really angry and hurt, "I can't stand your father anymore, buy one ticket for us, send either me or him back home, we can't live together anymore. I've had enough!"
I had to rush back home to do an immediate mediation session. It took the whole afternoon to let everyone spit out what have been bothering them, and what ignited the fight with each other. It was all small and trivial in my mind, but not to them. Things were further compounded by their bad communication style evolved over the last 40 years or so based on a semi-arranged marriage. Of course, at the end, my father apologized, my mother let it go.
I talked with my husband after he got home, he gave me his full support and comforted me. But, deep in my heart, I just don't feel happy about it at all. Well, I've done what I can, it's really beyond my capability. All I can do is wish for the best for them...
Thank you for reading. I feel a little bit better getting it off my chest...
A couple of replies I got:
| 哈哈！跟我一樣，我那天剛給我媽國際長途調節了一晚上。。。 |
|  | |||
| 來源: 愛寶娘 |
我家父母是我外公指定的，先結婚後戀愛的。主要矛盾是我爸爸是“工作狂”，而且，工作之餘，還有很多業餘愛好，等這些都完了，留給我媽的時間就很少了。我媽退休後雖然上了老年大學，交了很多朋友，但也受不了他。他沒有周末，請我媽去吃頓飯，可以接20個電話。嘿嘿。。。
每次都是這個原因。我就得先聽我媽抱怨啊，然後，車軲轆話勸啊。然後，把老頭兒叫來“教訓”一下。我經常跟他們說：
1。現在，我長大了，你們老了，就象我的孩子一樣，我現在在國外，國內也沒有別的孩子照顧你們，你們兩個不搞好安定團結，還指望誰呢？別老讓我操心好不好？
好好日子不好好過，老鬧內訌？
2。年輕夫妻老來伴兒。這人都活大半輩子了，對方的性格也早都了解了，改變不了就接受吧。今天他還能惹你生氣，還能跟你吵架。等老的動不了了，生病住院了，你恨不得他從病床上跳起來跟你吵，對吧？今天你還生氣餓著他，不給他作飯，等他病了老了，吃不動了，你恨不得山珍海味伺候他吧？趕緊珍惜好不好？
3。你喜歡“愛寶”吧，你這樣老生氣，肯定不會太健康，你不還想看愛寶結婚生寶寶嗎？你得學會修養心性，健康長壽，可以享受重孫繞膝的樂趣，那多好。那臭老頭，別理他！等他退休了，肯定巴巴兒的求你帶他玩兒。
。。。
反正啊，就跟對孩子一樣。雖然她已經過了更年期，可還是隔一段發作一回，好象心理毒素要排泄一樣。隻好陪著哄著。。。我還專門為此換了長途計劃，每月交固定錢，可以免費1000分鍾，希望能夠。。。
咱們抱抱吧。。。
- Thank you for sharing your experience, I think your parents are lovely!
這人都活大半輩子了，對方的性格也早都了解了，改變不了就接受吧! You said it so correctly! I have been telling them the same thing over and over again, they just don't get it. They would rather bickering with each other everyday. Sometimes I can't help to think, well, there is not much that I can do if don't have any willingness to change, out of sight, out of mind.
- 唉呀，沒那麽嚴重的，就如常滿說的，老人有時就是孩子。by wonderkid
俗話說，“老小，老小”。 就是年紀大的人，常常就會表現出象小孩子一樣的行為。 老夫妻拌嘴，就如我們小時候兄弟姐妹間的爭吵一樣， 開始激烈，過去就過去，都會原諒對方的， 你不必擔心。
我父母也是這樣的， 但是我知道他們其實好得很， 所以每次拌嘴總是“各打50大板”， 把誰都說一遍， 他們就沒輒了。 ：) 就像小時我媽媽對我和我哥一樣， 不過我隻是和事佬而已啦。。。。
還有，一點提醒， 父母間的事，可以輕鬆和老公提起， 但是不要太“嚴重”地提起， 因為久了， 會讓你老公對你父母產生負麵印象。 雖然夫妻感情好什麽都可以share, 但是適當自己保留的還是自己保留，何況你父母和你們住在一起。 不好意思，隻是個人的想法而已。 不一定適用你家。 ：)
Thank you all for your reply! Yes, you're all right about it, and I understand it too. I think I was pretty objective and calm yesterday when I pointed out their problems, and how they could have made each other feel better if they expressed themselves in a different way. I didn't get emotional at all at the time.
But this morning, I was certainly not myself when I woke up. It still got me.
Thank you for your comments and analysis, I feel much much better now!
And to that Crazydog said: • It sure is hard for a daughter to play parent to parents! Hug
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