正文
自從做了媽媽之後,對自己要求嚴了。老想做一個成功的人 來做寶寶的榜樣。現在老是
想總結自己的性格，try 糾正自己的性格。因為覺得自己年紀很輕，鍛煉成一個好性格
為事業打好基礎。但是老是不太如意。能得自己挺累。
比如自己性格比較敏感，有點善於查顏觀色，別人一個小神情也能令我想半天。有時候
挺累人。
比如想和別人打好交道，一個是語言還是不到家，有時候別人說話及自己follow
不上。自己性格不是十分愛表達自己，幾句話就沒什麽可說得了。----自責
自己以後想做個faculty,希望能和周圍的professor時常交流交流，但常常不知說什麽
，而且見到他們還有點緊張。倒頭來，隻是點頭微笑的分--自責
對自己的專業有點興趣，但不是很強，是強是弱。但又不知道自己該做什麽最適合自己
，所以隻好往前走。
老是給自己心理負擔，比如想換專業，但是又想起國內的導師會不會因此瞧不起自己。
從小就有點偶像崇拜的傾向。比如國內崇拜過係裏女院長和實驗室的副導師，
希望以後做她們那樣的人。但又懷疑她們不喜歡我，所以從而推測自己是不能成為她們
那樣的人的。
總之，一片亂麻，勞工說我事事舉重。我也不知道如何，請大家辦忙分析一下。謝謝！
發信人: DPSN (快樂阿飛), 信區: PsychoAnalysis
標 題: Re: 心理困境
發信站: BBS (Wed May 16 00:55:24 2007)
what do you really want, instead of meet other people\'s needs, in your life?
what do you want to be, instead of ought to be?
do you know your true feelings, instead of pretended feelings to please
people?
how can you set yourself as the model you want your kids to follow, if you
can\'t answer above 3 questions?
you were a kid living in a prison, and if you are not aware of that, you
will put your kids in the same prison. you are frustrated now, and your kid
will be frustrated for sure if you don\'t free yourself.
good luck.
發信人: DPSN (快樂阿飛), 信區: PsychoAnalysis
標 題: Re: 心理困境
發信站: BBS (Wed May 16 15:21:52 2007)
you might not see the difference between feel and express. we are not entitled to freely express our anger, rage, etc toward people, that\'s true; but we all need to touch our true feelings, instead of to repress them.
when we were little, we repressed our true feelings, covered our true needs, to be good kids bringing the least inconvenience; we did things not what we truely wanted so as to get the parent\'s love in return. this sounds normal to most of us, and the little kids within us still,now, consider what the parents gave as true love, without knowing that the true parent\'s love is unconditional and is the only unconditional love we all should have in the whole world. a 2-yr old deserved to be fed without having to be obedient, and a 4-yr old boy was fully entitled to get mother\'s hugs without having to be able to count from 1 up to 100.
after we grow up, the lack of true love in childhood leads us to seek love in substitutes, such as our bosses, our teachers and friends, or even our children. we are so eager to please everyone of them, yet are so scared to be abandoned or belittled in case we can\'t meet their expectation or glorify them. and that\'s the woman who wrote the original post.
after doing this continuously long enough, we lost ourselves -- we took parent\'s needs as our needs, and we couldn\'t know our true feelings because we had lost touch with them for so long. the battle, searching for parent\'s love, which we are engaged in, is doomed to fail, because we are looking for the love we could never get. the love was long gone, lost forever in the past, due to the fault of our parents.
the danger i see in LZ\'s original post is that, she does not realize the root of her frustration and consider many things happened to her as most normal, and is ready to pass that prison to her child.
it\'s time to be awakened. closely observe your little child, and think about your early childhood. your needs and talents were smothered, your feelings were tortured and dessociated exactly at his/her age. do you want to repeat it? or set the little one free? we are not God, and have no right to mess up any other human being\'s life. we are her/his company, lucky enough to walk along with him for a while. be nice.
想總結自己的性格，try 糾正自己的性格。因為覺得自己年紀很輕，鍛煉成一個好性格
為事業打好基礎。但是老是不太如意。能得自己挺累。
比如自己性格比較敏感，有點善於查顏觀色，別人一個小神情也能令我想半天。有時候
挺累人。
比如想和別人打好交道，一個是語言還是不到家，有時候別人說話及自己follow
不上。自己性格不是十分愛表達自己，幾句話就沒什麽可說得了。----自責
自己以後想做個faculty,希望能和周圍的professor時常交流交流，但常常不知說什麽
，而且見到他們還有點緊張。倒頭來，隻是點頭微笑的分--自責
對自己的專業有點興趣，但不是很強，是強是弱。但又不知道自己該做什麽最適合自己
，所以隻好往前走。
老是給自己心理負擔，比如想換專業，但是又想起國內的導師會不會因此瞧不起自己。
從小就有點偶像崇拜的傾向。比如國內崇拜過係裏女院長和實驗室的副導師，
希望以後做她們那樣的人。但又懷疑她們不喜歡我，所以從而推測自己是不能成為她們
那樣的人的。
總之，一片亂麻，勞工說我事事舉重。我也不知道如何，請大家辦忙分析一下。謝謝！
發信人: DPSN (快樂阿飛), 信區: PsychoAnalysis
標 題: Re: 心理困境
發信站: BBS (Wed May 16 00:55:24 2007)
what do you really want, instead of meet other people\'s needs, in your life?
what do you want to be, instead of ought to be?
do you know your true feelings, instead of pretended feelings to please
people?
how can you set yourself as the model you want your kids to follow, if you
can\'t answer above 3 questions?
you were a kid living in a prison, and if you are not aware of that, you
will put your kids in the same prison. you are frustrated now, and your kid
will be frustrated for sure if you don\'t free yourself.
good luck.
發信人: DPSN (快樂阿飛), 信區: PsychoAnalysis
標 題: Re: 心理困境
發信站: BBS (Wed May 16 15:21:52 2007)
you might not see the difference between feel and express. we are not entitled to freely express our anger, rage, etc toward people, that\'s true; but we all need to touch our true feelings, instead of to repress them.
when we were little, we repressed our true feelings, covered our true needs, to be good kids bringing the least inconvenience; we did things not what we truely wanted so as to get the parent\'s love in return. this sounds normal to most of us, and the little kids within us still,now, consider what the parents gave as true love, without knowing that the true parent\'s love is unconditional and is the only unconditional love we all should have in the whole world. a 2-yr old deserved to be fed without having to be obedient, and a 4-yr old boy was fully entitled to get mother\'s hugs without having to be able to count from 1 up to 100.
after we grow up, the lack of true love in childhood leads us to seek love in substitutes, such as our bosses, our teachers and friends, or even our children. we are so eager to please everyone of them, yet are so scared to be abandoned or belittled in case we can\'t meet their expectation or glorify them. and that\'s the woman who wrote the original post.
after doing this continuously long enough, we lost ourselves -- we took parent\'s needs as our needs, and we couldn\'t know our true feelings because we had lost touch with them for so long. the battle, searching for parent\'s love, which we are engaged in, is doomed to fail, because we are looking for the love we could never get. the love was long gone, lost forever in the past, due to the fault of our parents.
the danger i see in LZ\'s original post is that, she does not realize the root of her frustration and consider many things happened to her as most normal, and is ready to pass that prison to her child.
it\'s time to be awakened. closely observe your little child, and think about your early childhood. your needs and talents were smothered, your feelings were tortured and dessociated exactly at his/her age. do you want to repeat it? or set the little one free? we are not God, and have no right to mess up any other human being\'s life. we are her/his company, lucky enough to walk along with him for a while. be nice.
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