[安然識色]綢緞上的情書

夕陽一直在那裏，沒有沉下去的意思。透過一層沒有擦幹淨的玻璃還有一片薄薄的塑料紙，照在我的身上。我的眼睛壓在黑色的鴨舌帽下，不敢直視火紅色的夕陽，就好像一直不敢直視他的眼睛那樣，怕被灼傷。《梵音大悲咒》在耳邊回響，我在裏麵沉下去，沒有什麽可以抓得住，漩渦的力量，撕扯著我的身軀和靈魂，一片一片破碎，然後整合，再碎裂。猶記有人這樣感歎，現在的婚姻和一切有關，唯獨和愛情無關。我是不相信的，因為我拒絕妥協。對生命的不妥協，就是對一切的不妥協。如果有一天，真的被生命撕扯得沒有了真麵目，能夠像瑪格利特杜拉斯在寫到那個他時平靜地敘述過去的種種，在聽到八十歲的他對她說依舊愛她時微笑麵對，沒有眼淚沒有嫉妒。如果有那麽一個故事，隻有純粹的愛，其他的一切都不存在，與宇宙都無關，連比地球大333000倍的太陽都覺得渺小，沒有生亦無死。如果一切隻是如果……

 

她給他的情書是寫在綢緞上的，金色鑲邊的紅色綢緞，金色的文字，整段整段的《梁祝》，那個古老的關於蝴蝶的故事，華麗而憂傷得讓他濕了眼睛。蝴蝶是飛不過滄海的，一個季節的美麗，一生的肝腸寸斷。他說，他們有七生七世的時間，足以把這段愛情演繹到極致。有她被他深邃的眼神牽扯得無法自抑，有他被她的輕吻纏綿得無法喘息。當她踮腳抬頭，當他低頭俯身，當他們雙手糾結，隻要那麽一瞬間，天地都崩裂，滄海桑田近在眼前。無法解釋也無需解釋的永遠，在眼前展開，永遠地，光芒四射地。仿佛隻用他的手指，向西天一點，一切暫停，一條恒定寬敞的大路，就點定了所有的方向。那一刻，那麵綢緞在愛裏延伸，金色的紗麗隨風飄揚。

 

如果一切隻是如果。如果我說今天就是永遠，那麽它就是了。

[memos]

I may be not in the position to comment on it, but I just follow the suit as usual

If anything is improper, let it pass. Words are living things, and I am struggling with them.

大悲咒 --從古琴到梵唱, 充滿能量的佛緣心咒, 讓你呼吸到深深的寧靜, 人間的清澈. 照見生命的無限、未來的無限。
Wish your soul is in peace and in whole when you are surrender by it.

When I read or watch tragedy stories, I always blame the authors, but not this one.
If I had her number, I would have called Ms. Marguerite Duras much earlier;
If I were seeing Ms Duras to depart at harbor, I would say farewell instead of watching her leaving distantly;
If I were Mr. Lee, I would not let her go at the beginning…
There, however, would be no such beautiful and sad story if I were Mr. Lee.

“七生七世” is a strong word. It could shake many things.

As I commented before, life comes as floating water and gone with wind. I maybe do not care to leave traces in my current life, but I don’t want too many regrets neither. Is it right?

Hope “he” and “she” would not miss the cross point in current life.