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[短評]從韓裔趙承熙殺人看亞洲移民對子女教育的誤導 (圖)

(2007-04-18 19:44:30) 下一個

 


2007年4月16日,23歲的韓裔VIRGINIA TECH本科生趙承熙持槍濫殺32條性命並以此結束自己年輕的生命。

此案為美國有史以來最大的校園凶殺案。

2007年4月18日,NBC收到趙承熙在兩次槍擊案間隔期間到郵局寄的郵件,讓我們徹底明白了他殺人的動機和扭曲的靈魂。

以下是他的原話:


"You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today,but you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off."

"You have vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience,you thought it was one pathetic boy's life you were extinguishing. Thanks to you, I die like Jesus Christ, to inspire generations of the weak and the defenseless people."

"Your Mercedes wasn't enough, you brats, Your golden necklaces weren't enough, you snobs. Your trust funds wasn't enough. Your vodka and cognac wasn't enough. All your debaucheries weren't enough. Those weren't enough to fulfill your hedonistic needs. You had everything."

這裏的“你”指的是誰?是一個具體的人,還是一個泛指的群體? 

有消息說他是情殺,其實不全是。從他的宣言中,我看到了一個扭曲了的靈魂,一個對美國主流社會的憤恨和對富人發自內心的敵視和歇斯底裏的狂怒。

為什麽會是這個樣子?這些仇恨是從何而來?亞裔該怎樣教育我們的下一代?

幾乎所有的亞洲人,尤其是咱們中國人,和與我們在文化習俗上很接近的韓國人和日本人,從骨子裏有很深的等級觀念。這種等級觀念表現出來就是對金錢,地位和權力的崇拜, 對貧窮的厭惡。

無可厚非,在有錢與沒錢之間,在物質和貧瘠之間,普通人都會做出很明智的選擇。

但這種對金錢,地位和權力的向往在沒有道德觀和社會公德意識加以引導的時候,在自己拚命掙紮還達不到社會認可的時候,就會引發對那些被社會接納的所謂”成功“人士的嫉妒和不滿。 在沒有自我心理調節能力和社會幫助,特別是主流宗教的指引下,這種嫉妒和不滿就會發展成仇恨和暴力。

每個來自貧窮國家的人在美國這片自由的土地上都有很大的壓力。同貪官汙吏橫行的祖國不同,在美國,很多富人都是靠自己勤勞的雙手發家致富。如何賺錢,買房子,開新車,做生意,便成了第一代移民每天思考的主題。勤勞的亞洲人民從來就是以吃苦耐勞為美德。正所謂 “吃得苦中苦,方得甜中甜,做得人上人。”

在這種人生觀驅使下,很多第一代移民們每天疲於奔命為錢財奔波。他們沒有時間,也沒有耐心教育下一代,特別是在靈魂上的培養和精神上的關心。對於父母來說,隻要孩子分數好不吸毒能上好大學,就算教育成功。對於孩子們來說,他們的父母隻關心他們自己的事業和對錢財感興趣,除了分數外,自己同父母沒有什麽好談的。

那是誰在培養教育他們?是你嗎?是學校?

不錯,他們的生父母是你們,孩子每天去學校, 但他們的精神父母是充滿色情和凶殺的美國電視,電影,遊戲,網絡,RAP和ROCK音樂。

你們的孩子生活在一個靠暴力解決所有麻煩的虛擬世界裏。在這個世界裏,GAME OVER意味著隨時可以再來一次,任何時候都可以死而複生,對誰不滿可以一槍把對方幹掉而不負任何責任也不會有任何對自己不利後果。

一邊是生活在物質世界拚命賺錢的父母,對於他們來說,錢可以解決一切煩惱;一邊是生活在虛擬世界在分數上應付父母的孩子,對於他們來說,暴力可以解決一切。

兩代人生活在什麽樣的世界啊,醒醒吧。

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閱讀 ()評論 (63)
評論
不過是個人 回複 悄悄話 如果這也叫好文,請大家回去上小學重新學語文吧.我隻是實話實說.不是攻擊,您非拍我,我也隻有受著.
不過是個人 回複 悄悄話 您真得把自己當美國社會中的一分子了麽?這隻是個問題,要看官自己去回答,如果您夠犀利的話.
不過是個人 回複 悄悄話 很顯然,凶手是老美的校園槍擊案占大多數吧.這不是亞裔的問題,這是美國社會的問題.
晗妍 回複 悄悄話 任何種族都有好有壞,但是這樣的事情真的是發人深醒!
noso 回複 悄悄話 麵對美國校園槍擊案 中國網民終於沒再叫好 中青報

《中國青年報》19日發表時評文章,一位名叫“李方”的作者為美國校園慘案發生後,中國網民的跟帖裏沒有出現曾經有過的“鋪天蓋地的叫好聲”而深感慶幸。

以下是文章全文:
  
我在一家門戶網站做事。昨天早晨上網看見美國弗吉尼亞理工大學發生槍擊案的消息,特別是當時懷疑凶手是中國留學生,不誇張地說,我幾乎是顫抖著用滑鼠點開了該條新聞的跟帖評論頁麵。我害怕看見跟帖裏鋪天蓋地的叫好聲,而這在六年前(注:當指911事件發生時)我們是見識過的。我會感到丟臉,覺得這些人無可理喻。

  翻看了幾頁跟帖後,我踏實了。絕大多數帖子都是哀悼內容,當然也有少數幾條叫好的,但馬上會招來嚴厲的指責:不懂事,沒人性。

  我以前也是做評論工作的,大家都知道評論要講理性。那麽什麽叫評論的理性呢?說白了兩句話:冤有頭債有主,不遷怒不貳過。昨天誤傳是中國留學生殺了人,那麽當時,美國人會不會因此而遷怒所有中國人?我們當然不希望發生這種情形,否則會認為美國人不講道理。同理,大家也都知道新保守主義的美國在世界上形象不佳,包括我在內的很多中國人,特別是年輕人巴不得美國政府多遭受點挫折,可明擺著這股火兒不能朝普通美國人身上撒啊,不是麽。這是太簡單的道理,簡直不值得一講,然而現實卻往往叫人大跌眼鏡,好像太平洋對岸的人就不是人,而隻是綁在美國政府褲帶上的一串螞蟻,碾死就碾死,活該陪葬。古人不是講己所不欲勿施於人麽,如果我們希望美國人也這樣對待我們,那麽我們就閉著眼一路叫好吧。

  值得慶幸的是,這回終於沒有讓六年前的“民意”重演。當年的小憤青們長大了半輪兒,後起之憤大概也被薰陶得差不多可以區分:政府的歸政府,人性的歸人性。我以為這種區分,乃是不同民族之間尋求理解、國際間尋求合作的一個認識基石。沒有這種認識,那便是打了一戰再打二戰,因為一戰後協約國直接把德國人當作了懲罰目標,沉重的割地賠款的屈辱,才使得30年代的德國人被希特勒一點就著。那麽為什麽打了二戰沒能再打三戰?戰勝國終於認識到,德國人民也是犧牲者,他們也需要撫慰。

  當然這話就扯得有點遠了,其實我也隻是講,你可以不喜歡美國政府的某些做法,但是你不可以把美國人跟美國政府畫等號。從人性上,美國人跟我們的鄰居又有多大兩樣?我們是否樂見鄰居被槍殺32人?

  我們都說要和解不要對抗。並且,很多人可能會膚淺地理解,和解或者對抗都隻是政府對政府的事情。可是想想吧,如果彼此的人民間存在深刻的誤解和敵意,雙方政府哪怕簽訂再多的友好條約,管多大用?或者反過來想,哪怕政府之間誤會再深,隻要雙方人民中間存在深深的善意,政府的對抗又能堅持多久?這也是有例為證的吧,上世紀中美雙方勢同水火二三十年,而一朝冰融,兩國感情迅即升溫,也沒別的原因,無非曆史上雙方人民內心彼此一直存著深刻好感。再往前推,若無這份好感,抗戰期間美國人大概也不會派飛虎隊過來。

  政府的歸政府,人性的歸人性。我想這應該是我們認識事物特別是國際事務的一個基本出發點。政府是有國界的,而人性是無國界的,因此發生在佛吉尼亞的槍殺事件才引起全世界包括我們自己那麽多的哀悼和思考。本質上它僅僅是一個人性的問題,不管它發生在離我們100米的地方,還是發生在1萬公裏以外,不管那裏飄揚的是五星紅旗還是星條旗——在生命和人性的層麵,有些東西是不能夠追究什麽外在屬性的,而這正是我們被稱為人的原因。
noso 回複 悄悄話
弗大血案:凶手趙承熙的郵包解開了三個謎團 朝鮮日報

朝鮮日報特派記者崔宇皙/記者崔圭民/弗吉尼亞理工大學槍擊案凶手趙承熙寄給美國全國廣播公司(NBC)的郵包解開了三個謎團。

首先,通過郵包內容,他第一次作案到第二次作案之間的2個小時內的行蹤有了答案。他在這兩個小時裏,準備好郵包並前往市內的郵局寄了出去。

第二,揭露了他的犯罪動機並非是單純的癡情,而是對世界的憎惡和仇視,證實他是經過長期周密的準備有計劃地實施犯罪。他的大部分照片都模仿電影《出租車司機》的主人公羅伯特-德尼羅和電影《黑客帝國》的主人公基努-裏維斯的造型,從這一點看,趙承熙很有可能有著很強的模仿心理或小英雄主義。

第三,趙承熙與一般的殺人狂不同,在作案時幾乎沒有留下任何信息,其中的原因也得到了解答。他為了在事後將自己的信息以最戲劇性的方式公諸於眾而做好了周密的準備。

趙承熙故意劃掉手槍上的編碼,在作案時沒有攜帶身份證,作案後向自己的臉部開槍自殺,這一係列舉動估計都是為了讓警方難以確認他的身份,以達到最大的震驚效果。另外,將郵包發送人的姓名寫為“Ishmael(以賽瑪利)”,又在自己的手臂上寫上“Ismail Ax”,這是為了在事後證明自己是郵包發送者。“Ishmael(以賽瑪利)”是基督教式叫法,“以實馬利”是伊斯蘭式叫法,但所指的都是同一人。至於趙承熙出於什麽意圖使用該詞,目前眾說紛紜。
aol 回複 悄悄話 文章太片麵,家庭教育隻是一個方麵。
1 美國並不是一個完全公平正義的社會,人的機會不完全相同,少數民族會受到歧視。那個南朝鮮人肯定在學校受到很大的歧視和白人同學的欺負。

2 美國流行文化如歌曲、電影和電子遊戲有太多的色情和暴力,這是他們的資本社會企業追求利潤忽視社會效益的結果,加上國家監管沒有力度,這是國家的責任,靠家長的力量是辦不到的。
無妻徒刑 回複 悄悄話 布什萬歲萬歲萬萬歲
noso 回複 悄悄話 感謝大家來訪

讓我們記住死在凶手槍下的32個無辜遇難者,讓我們從中吸取教訓,引以為戒。不要為凶手找借口,不要宣揚暴力。

我寫此文是為了提醒大家不要隻顧自己事業的發展和錢財的積累,要注意下一代的心理健康,多與他們進行心靈的溝通,讓他們長成一個有責任感有公德心的正派青年。

在這個有限版麵上,有近13萬的擊點,我想我的信息得到了傳播。有願轉貼的朋友,您可以轉,請注明作者和出處,給我一個鏈接。

晚安。
noso 回複 悄悄話 Va. Tech shooter a 'textbook killer'

By MATT APUZZO and SHARON COHEN, Associated Press Writers 27 minutes ago

BLACKSBURG, Va. - In high school, Cho Seung-Hui almost never opened his mouth. When he finally did, his classmates laughed, pointed at him and said: "Go back to China."

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As such details of the Virginia Tech shooter's life come out, and experts pore over his sick and twisted writings and his videotaped rant, it is becoming increasingly clear that Cho was almost a textbook case of a school shooter: a painfully awkward, picked-on young man who lashed out with methodical fury at a world he believed was out to get him.

"In virtually every regard, Cho is prototypical of mass killers that I've studied in the past 25 years," said Northeastern University criminal justice professor James Alan Fox, co-author of 16 books on crime. "That doesn't mean, however, that one could have predicted his rampage."

When criminologists and psychologists look at mass murders, Cho fits the themes they see repeatedly: a friendless figure, someone who has been bullied, someone who blames others and is bent on revenge, a careful planner, a male. And someone who sent up warning signs with his strange behavior long in advance.

Among other things, the 23-year-old South Korean immigrant was sent to a psychiatric hospital and pronounced an imminent danger to himself. He was accused of stalking two women and photographing female students in class with his cell phone. And his violence-filled writings were so disturbing he was removed from one class, and professors begged him to get counseling. He rarely looked anyone in the eye and did not even talk to his own roommates.

Cho, who killed 32 people and committed suicide at the Blacksburg campus Monday, cast himself in his video diatribe as a persecuted figure like Jesus Christ. Cho, who came to the U.S. at about age 8 in 1992 and whose parents worked at a dry cleaners in suburban Washington, also ranted against rich "brats" with Mercedes, gold necklaces, cognac and trust funds.

Classmates in Virginia, where Cho grew up, said he was teased and picked on, apparently because of shyness and his strange, mumbly way of speaking.

Once, in English class at Westfield High School in Chantilly, Va., when the teacher had the students read aloud, Cho looked down when it was his turn, said Chris Davids, a Virginia Tech senior and high school classmate. After the teacher threatened him with an F for participation, Cho began reading in a strange, deep voice that sounded "like he had something in his mouth," Davids said.

"The whole class started laughing and pointing and saying, `Go back to China,'" Davids said.

Stephanie Roberts, 22, a classmate of Cho's at Westfield High, said she never witnessed anyone picking on Cho in high school. But she said friends of hers who went to middle school with him told her they recalled him getting bullied there.

"There were just some people who were really mean to him and they would push him down and laugh at him," Roberts said. "He didn't speak English really well and they would really make fun of him."

Cho's great aunt, who lives in South Korea, said Thursday that because he did not speak much as a child and after the family emigrated to the United States, doctors thought he may be autistic.

"Normally sons and mothers talk. There was none of that for them. He was very cold," Kim Yang-soon said in an interview with AP Television News. "When they went to the United States, they told them it was autism."

Neither school officials, who have his educational records, nor police who have his medical records, have mentioned such a diagnosis this week. Autistic individuals often have difficulty communicating, but such a diagnosis would not necessarily explain his violence.

Regan Wilder, 21, who attended Virginia Tech, high school and middle school with Cho, said she was sure Cho probably was picked on in middle school, but so was everyone else. And it didn't seem as if English was the problem for him, she said. If he didn't speak English well, there were several other Korean students he could have reached out to for friendship, but he didn't.
秦書包 回複 悄悄話 BLACKSBURG, Va. — Long before he boiled over, Virginia Tech gunman Cho
Seung-Hui was picked on, pushed around and laughed at over his shyness and
the strange way he talked when he was a schoolboy in the Washington suburbs,
former classmates say.

Chris Davids, a Virginia Tech senior who graduated from Westfield High
School in Chantilly, Va., with Cho in 2003, recalled that the South Korean
immigrant almost never opened his mouth and would ignore attempts to strike
up a conversation.

Once, in English class, the teacher had the students read aloud, and when it
was Cho's turn, he just looked down in silence, Davids recalled. Finally,
after the teacher threatened him with an F for participation, Cho started to
read in a strange, deep voice that sounded "like he had something in his
mouth,'' Davids said.

"As soon as he started reading, the whole class started laughing and
pointing and saying, `Go back to China,''' Davids said.
comelater 回複 悄悄話 文章寫的非常好,道出了一部分父母教育子女的誤區本質

這個凶手,絕對不是因為某個人原因,他是報複社會

心理上不健康,是最關鍵因素之一
seniorman 回複 悄悄話 小平鄧的評論
"美國出了多少槍擊案?有幾起是亞裔?哪個種族沒有變態的人?哪次槍擊案發生後白人說過白人的教育方式有問題了?
這麽一起孤立的事件就能讓你把整個亞裔給扯上也足可以看出你骨子裏的自卑。"

非常非常同意小平鄧的評論.博客主人展示了他骨子裏的自卑。這種自卑不會殺人、但會產生更大的"負"作用。
seniorman 回複 悄悄話 非常非常同意小平鄧的評論.博客主人展示了他骨子裏的自卑。這種自卑不會殺人、但會產生更大的"負"作用。
wuliong 回複 悄悄話 我覺得亞裔族群的家庭教育基本不錯。 這個是個例。 再說了, 凶手的姐姐不是過的很好。 讀書好,工作好。 倒是要研究研究為什麽他和姐姐差的這麽多。 怎麽會一個家庭的兩個孩子差別這麽大。
pea 回複 悄悄話 "邏輯思維"似乎有點亂,其它就不想多說了.
虔謙 回複 悄悄話 祝賀你 noso! 我知道會有這天.

發人深省!謝謝!

秦書包 回複 悄悄話 回複thethe的評論:
嗬嗬,你連別人說什麽都沒搞清楚就在這反對。
我從沒說過父母不該付責任。我說的是不能因為個例就得出一個種群該如何的結論。
山水安妮 回複 悄悄話 剛剛看到。 的確是很值得深思的問題
noso 回複 悄悄話 感謝大家的來訪,順便膚淺地紀念一下:

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noso 回複 悄悄話 歡迎樓下各位的討論。

對於地域和種族的劃分,我的看法是 1)不要掩耳盜鈴,自欺欺人。2)對其他種族要不卑不亢。

更重要的是,要站在人性和理性的立場來看問題。

如果我寫的能引發您的一些思考,算我給您提個醒兒,沒白廢工夫。
多雲轉陰 回複 悄悄話 很明顯,這孩子長期受到不公正對待才積累起對社會的仇恨。社會有著不可推卸的責任。

你認為他是嫉妒富者,也太簡單了。他們家房子40多萬,肯定不是窮人。別老想當然。 沒那麽簡單。
thethe 回複 悄悄話 回複小平鄧的評論:不是自卑是謙卑。常響警鍾比麻癖大意要好。
thethe 回複 悄悄話 回複noso的評論:
============================
謝樓下各位。

從趙案中我們要引以為戒。

你可以把責任推給社會,推給美國的教育製度,但如果你是趙的家長,你會怎麽想?你成天拚命賺錢的目的是什麽?你給下一代留下的是什麽?每天逼小孩學中文彈鋼琴就算教育子女了嗎?青少年要德智體全麵發展還沒忘吧?自己的孩子花錢讓別人來教育,跟做買賣有什麽區別?

這是我們第一代移民要思考的問題。
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繼續支持你的觀看。對秦書包的看法不敢苟同。如果你的孩子人生路走偏了,你難道沒有一點責任嗎?探鋼琴上名校沒有錯,問題是孩子不管多大,都還有感情需要,有些方麵是非父母所能取代的。第一代移民的確不容易,但教育孩子不能僅僅是探鋼琴上名校,要德智體全麵發展。相信你們化了很多時間,但你是你孩子的朋友嗎?你真正了解他(她)的心靈深處嗎?隻是個人想法,不一定正確。
thethe 回複 悄悄話 回複秦書包的評論: 你的觀點有點片麵,不敢苟同。
秦書包 回複 悄悄話 "謝樓下各位。

從趙案中我們要引以為戒。

你可以把責任推給社會,推給美國的教育製度,但如果你是趙的家長,你會怎麽想?你成天拚命賺錢的目的是什麽?你給下一代留下的是什麽?每天逼小孩學中文彈鋼琴就算教育子女了嗎?青少年要德智體全麵發展還沒忘吧?自己的孩子花錢讓別人來教育,跟做買賣有什麽區別?

這是我們第一代移民要思考的問題。"

不知道你認識幾個美國白人。是不是認識的都是家庭條件不怎麽樣的。
家庭條件好的美國白人父母讓孩子在課餘時間裏上各種班,培養特長的多了去了。把這個歸結到移民的頭上太可笑了。
要是這次的凶手是中國人,你是不是要到白宮前下跪謝罪阿。
鳴放1957 回複 悄悄話 血腥的遊戲玩得太多了,已經分不清REAL WORLD 和 遊戲 WORLD 的不同.
荒沙 回複 悄悄話 除 了 yahoo 的那篇轉摘,其他各位似乎剛到美國。或者是人在美國,心泊他鄉。如果各位在計算機房或實驗室少呆一會,多留心一下美國社會與政治,那你至少會 想想這個人為何得病,他至於僅僅因為忌妒去送命嗎。 

在Oklahoma City 政府大廈暴炸時,每個人都說是“中東人”幹的。這一次,大 家一開時都堅信是“中國人”所為。沒想到吧?

當各位陛下在為怎樣教育自己的子女猶慮不堪之時,你是否會太誇張了自己的能力 了呢?你與孩子一起的時間不會比他們在學校和社會上的時間更多吧?孩子在外的 經曆,你恐怕不一定都知道吧?
noso 回複 悄悄話 謝樓下各位。

從趙案中我們要引以為戒。

你可以把責任推給社會,推給美國的教育製度,但如果你是趙的家長,你會怎麽想?你成天拚命賺錢的目的是什麽?你給下一代留下的是什麽?每天逼小孩學中文彈鋼琴就算教育子女了嗎?青少年要德智體全麵發展還沒忘吧?自己的孩子花錢讓別人來教育,跟做買賣有什麽區別?

這是我們第一代移民要思考的問題。
Beijing101 回複 悄悄話 I don't agree with the blogger's conclusion. This incident reflects the failure of the American Education System. No one reached out to save the killer's soul. Even though there were so many warning signs of a troubled mind, the society in general just ignored him and let him choose how to live or end his own life. He was abnormal and his action was hideous. But he was not BORN that way. Over ten years of exposure in a free country did not bring out the best in him.

This is a tragedy and a wake-up call for us to fall back on the value sand virtues of pre-internet age. Teach our children RESPECT in stead of REVENGE. Take away their video games or at least limit their time spent on those killing games. Plant a tree instead and watch the tree grow everyday.
half-bucket-full 回複 悄悄話 你在說啥,你想說啥?我們該咋作?
標題很誘人
落葉歸根 回複 悄悄話 據YAHOO報道,問題的原因是趙經常因為害羞而收到同學和老師的嘲笑:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070419/ap_on_re_us/virginia_tech_shooting

Once, in English class, the teacher had the students read aloud, and when
it was Cho's turn, he just looked down in silence, Davids recalled. Finally,
after the teacher threatened him with an F for participation, Cho started
to read in a strange, deep voice that sounded "like he had something in
his mouth," Davids said.

"As soon as he started reading, the whole class started laughing and pointing
and saying, `Go back to China,'" Davids said.
小平鄧 回複 悄悄話 美國出了多少槍擊案?有幾起是亞裔?哪個種族沒有變態的人?哪次槍擊案發生後白人說過白人的教育方式有問題了?
這麽一起孤立的事件就能讓你把整個亞裔給扯上也足可以看出你骨子裏的自卑。
落葉歸根 回複 悄悄話 "vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience"
這些話具體指什麽事情?
落葉歸根 回複 悄悄話 他的文字之間充滿仇恨,隻是還不清楚,這種仇恨是從那裏來的。
darwin 回複 悄悄話 There is nothing to do with Asian or whatever races and nationalities. Such insane people exist in every country. I would say in Asian culture, most likely such people are produced less than in culturally more aggressive western countries.

wake up! Don't relate whatever bad things to Asian culture.
隨便胡侃一下 回複 悄悄話 瞧者題目起的!
我的感覺,曆來的美國校園槍殺案,主角比較多的還是白人吧?對那些案例,題目是不是就改成:從xxx殺人看美國白人(黑人、猶太人、阿拉伯移民、拉丁美洲移民、等等等等)家庭對子女教育的誤導
aywl 回複 悄悄話 我看身邊的亞裔,為名/錢出賣朋友,完全的唯利是圖。他/她們應該讀讀此文。
thethe 回複 悄悄話 回複chiefwiggum的評論:
他的家庭和我們許多中國人的家庭很相似,我們周圍有很多父母和子女都有不同程度的問題,常敲警鍾沒有錯。
thethe 回複 悄悄話 給noso: 謝謝你的好文。要作孩子的朋友這一點很重要,即使管教也要本者愛心來管教。血的教訓啊!父母們,真的要小心。
noso 回複 悄悄話 謝謝樓下各位的評語和來訪。短短小文,草草而就,不可能麵麵俱到。

想補充一點:之所以提到亞裔移民,因為身為亞洲人,我們有很多共性。

咱們偉大的祖國以前還有毛主席的教導,要我們象早上8。9點鍾的太陽一樣,要做一個對人民對祖國有貢獻的,一個脫離低級趣味的人。現在是一切向錢看,做人要做有錢的人。

沒有人談什麽精神道德了。

這件事的發生,雖然凶手不是中國人,但不能不引以為戒。

把凶手說是精神病也好,說是韓國人的劣根性也好,在我個人看來,都是在同事件的人和事保持距離,對人性的理解和人生的感悟還不到位。Sorry.

建議大家多跟自己的孩子在一起,多了解他們的心理,跟他們交朋友。孩子不是雜草自己能隨便長大。現在的社會壞的影響太多了,資訊太發達了,連我們成人自己有時都把握不住自己,別說小孩子了。

防患於未然,警鍾常鳴。
adc 回複 悄悄話 Crazy guys are seen in all societies, all racial groups. Not only from Asian. I think statistically, education in Asian families are more successful.
kizomba 回複 悄悄話 I agree that the education from some Asian parents are problematic. One good example is my coworker, who was brought here during high school and still struggling with his own self identity: American? Chinese? Taiwanese? I can sense he hates himself because he is Chinese. He really admires people who makes a lot of money. He loves guns. He doesn't have friends. Does this sound like another Cho? Myself and my coworkers think so. The only difference is he talks although his talk always make people feel uncomfortable.

As for the influence of mainstream religion, I think it may play a negative role. Remember a lot of Koreans are Christians. Some church teachings can push a person like Cho to the limit. Especially in Old Testment, there are a lot of stories about people being prosecuted by the majority but eventuaully win with the help of God. Those people in our eyes may well be loners. Their eventual victories are usually pretty bloody.
chiefwiggum 回複 悄悄話 別沒事往自己身上找原因,憤世嫉俗的神經病多得去了,和是不是亞裔有什麽關係?
豬鋼鬃 回複 悄悄話 注意正確教育引導子女是對的,尤其作為外國人。
但是不要因為美國目前的富庶和強大而斷定美國什麽都好。
也大可不必把一個刑事個案上升到貶低某族群的高度。
sunflowera 回複 悄悄話 打錯字:不失為一篇好文,值得推薦。
sunflowera 回複 悄悄話 “但他們的精神父母是充滿色情和凶殺的美國電視,電影,遊戲,網絡,RAP和ROCK音樂”這點有點偏激,但不失為一篇好為。get to the point.
請問noso,可否轉出去?
jennyga 回複 悄悄話 "幾乎所有的亞洲人,尤其是咱們中國人,和與我們在文化習俗上很接近的韓國人和日本人,從骨子裏有很深的等級觀念。這種等級觀念表現出來就是對金錢,地位和權力的崇拜, 對貧窮的厭惡。"

寫得好!尤其那些為了工作、學習、賺錢等等,把孩子托給他人撫養的父母們要醒醒了。
likellllll 回複 悄悄話 "在沒有自我心理調節能力和社會幫助,特別是主流宗教的指引下,這種嫉妒和不滿就會發展成仇恨和暴力."


這個說的好.
惠蘭 回複 悄悄話 這個事件太慘了.但謝謝你的好文.希望如此悲劇不再發生.
**CEO** 回複 悄悄話 不光是亞裔,還不了解美國人。那些從窮地方來的正兒八經的美國人都有一樣的思想,仇富心理很重。
paris1998 回複 悄悄話 "幾乎所有的亞洲人,尤其是咱們中國人,和與我們在文化習俗上很接近的韓國人和日本人,從骨子裏有很深的等級觀念。這種等級觀念表現出來就是對金錢,地位和權力的崇拜, 對貧窮的厭惡。"

不同意以上觀點。哪個世界的人,哪個人種的人不是這樣的呢?比較起來亞洲人做這種事的還在少數。
人都是人,重要的是要明白,也教會孩子們知道:生活是美麗的生活是短暫的生活也不是一帆風順的,應該把不管怎樣的生活過出意義來!Enjoy your life!


a500d 回複 悄悄話 要注意這個孩子的特殊情況,他8歲到美國。他那個年齡段在學校可能不太容易適應,有隱性歧視等等,結果是沒有朋友,父母再不注意,性格上就有烙印了。童年的影響可是大事兒。
jwayne_1 回複 悄悄話 not completely accurate. i actually know a few cases of young kids came to u.s. from asian countries that some how the kids developed some mental problem of various degrees. it is probably related to many reasons, not just the parents. nothing is that simple.
a500d 回複 悄悄話 通知布什,把本文發給美國所有亞裔家庭,人手一份,好好學習。
老楊 回複 悄悄話 幾乎所有第三世界都是這樣,是狹隘,還是哪裏有壓迫,哪裏就有反抗?哈哈!糊塗啦!一種,仇富心理.武裝奪取是資本原始積累的最簡單,容易的方式!槍杆子裏麵出政權.到小姐和少奶奶的牙床上踩一踩.
怎麽說著說著我想起了文化大革命...
SUNNE 回複 悄悄話 精神和心理的缺陷有些是生下來就有的。個別孩子很小就表現出與眾不同,但家長並了解。這樣的孩子在智力方麵往往都很正常,進入成年病態會逐漸嚴重。所以他們說的和寫的東西都是自己的想像。
春江水 回複 悄悄話 “兩代人生活在什麽樣的世界啊”,希望這個用血和生命提出的問題喚醒人們。我們父母對孩子更應該關注什麽?文中分析的“用錢解決一切”和“用暴力解決一切”反映了兩代人精神上的匱乏和扭曲,成為最終導致悲劇的重要原因之一。謝謝你的好文!受益。
noso 回複 悄悄話 冷雨敲窗: Thanks for your kind comment.
noso 回複 悄悄話 A list of the victims of the shootings at Virginia Tech:


Killed:

· Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, of Saugus, Mass., according to his mother, Lynnette Alameddine.

· Christopher James Bishop, 35, according to Darmstadt University of Technology in Germany, where he helped run an exchange program.

· Brian Bluhm, 25, a civil engineering graduate student, according to an announcement by the Detroit Tigers and friends. He had previously lived in Iowa, Detroit and Louisville, Ky.

· Ryan Clark, 22, of Martinez, Ga., biology and English major, according to Columbia County Coroner Vernon Collins.

· Austin Cloyd, an international studies major from Blacksburg, Va., according to Terry Harter, senior pastor at First United Methodist Church in Champaign, Ill., where Cloyd and her family lived before moving to Blacksburg.

· Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor, according to her husband, Jerzy Nowak, the head of the horticulture department at Virginia Tech.

· Daniel Perez Cueva, 21, killed in his French class, according to his mother, Betty Cueva, of Peru.

· Kevin Granata, age unknown, engineering science and mechanics professor, according to Ishwar K. Puri, the head of the engineering science and mechanics department.

· Matthew G. Gwaltney, 24, of Chester, Va., a graduate student in civil and environmental engineering, according to his father and stepmother, Greg and Linda Gwaltney.

· Caitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y., a sophomore majoring in international studies and French, according to Minisink Valley, N.Y., school officials who spoke with Hammaren's family.

· Jeremy Herbstritt, 27, of Bellefonte, Pa., according to Penn State University, his alma mater and his father's employer.

· Rachael Hill, 18, of Glen Allen, Va., according to her father, Guy Hill.

· Emily Jane Hilscher, a 19-year-old freshman from Woodville, according to Rappahannock County Administrator John W. McCarthy, a family friend.

· Jarrett L. Lane, 22, of Narrows, Va., according to Riffe's Funeral Service Inc. in Narrows, Va.

· Matthew J. La Porte, 20, a sophomore from Dumont, N.J., according to Dumont Police Chief Brian Venezio.

· Henry J. Lee, also known as Henh Ly, 20, a first-year student majoring in computer engineering from Roanoke, Va., according to Oakey's Funeral Service in Roanoke.

· Liviu Librescu, 76, engineering science and mathematics lecturer, according to Puri.

· G.V. Loganathan, 51, civil and environmental engineering professor, according to his brother G.V. Palanivel.

· Partahi Lombantoruan, 34, of Indonesia, civil engineering doctoral student, according to Kristiarto Legowo, a spokesman for the foreign ministry.

· Lauren McCain, 20, of Hampton, Va., international studies major, according to a statement from the family.

· Daniel O'Neil, 22, of Rhode Island, according to close friend Steve Craveiro and according to Eric Cardenas of Connecticut College, where O'Neil's father, Bill, is director of major gifts.

· Juan Ramon Ortiz, a 26-year-old graduate student in engineering from Bayamon, Puerto Rico, according to his wife, Liselle Vega Cortes.

· Minal Panchal, 26, a first-year building-science student from Mumbai, India, according to foreign ministry spokesman Navtej Sarna.

· Erin Peterson, 18, of Chantilly, Va., an international studies major, according to her father, Grafton Peterson.

· Michael Pohle, 23, of Flemington, N.J., according to officials at his high school, Hunterdon Central High.

· Julia Pryde, age unknown, a graduate student from Middletown, N.J., according to Virginia Tech professor Saied Mostaghimi, chairman of the biological systems and engineering department.

· Mary Karen Read, 19, of Annandale, Va. according to her aunt, Karen Kuppinger, of Rochester, N.Y.

· Reema J. Samaha, 18, a freshman from Centreville, Va., according to her family.

· Waleed Mohammed Shaalan, of Zagazig, Egypt, a doctoral student in civil engineering, according to the university.

· Leslie Sherman, a sophomore history and international studies student from Springfield, Va., according to her grandmother Gerry Adams.

· Maxine Turner, 22, a senior majoring in chemical engineering from Vienna, Va., according to her father, Paul Turner.

· Nicole White, 20, a junior majoring in international studies from Smithfield, Va., according to a family statement released by the Suffolk, Va., Police Department.

冷雨敲窗 回複 悄悄話 好文!所有父母都應學習的文件。
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