Let Go 隨緣

說到"let go"，人們的第一反應多是“放手”。隨著年齡和經曆的增長，我慢慢地不再這樣簡單的看這個命題了。Let go, 是不讓已消逝的過去和未到來的將來過多的羈絆我們的身心，是活在眼前這一刻；它說的不僅是放手，更是抓住；是珍惜，是隨緣。

My neighbor, Mr. Devine, passed ten days ago after suffering late stage of Parkinson's for over a year. Mrs. Devine is in her early seventies and she has been with Mr. Devine for almost fifty years. They don't have any children. Days before Mr. Devine's death, Mrs. Devine told me that "Chuck is so ready to go", and she said she would be fine since they had been talking and preparing for it over the past year. When the day came, Mrs. Devine accepted it calmly and peacefully. She is actually somewhat happy, for "Chuck is finally relieved from suffering".

If it were a few years ago, I'd have felt very sad for Chuck. But now, I am happy for both of them. I am, not only feeling happy, but also quite thankful for their handling of life and death, and for the peace and hope they have brought me.

Most of the times, we believe our loved ones NEED us when it actually is that we are relying too much on their no more existing such needs. We try to hold tight the hands of a leaving spouse or partner, growing up children, passed elders, etc., to prove to ourselves that we truely cared and are still caring about them. We forget or don't realize that each person has to live their life all by themselves, and that no one can substitute another for any life course the latter is destined to go through. Sometimes we unintentionally exaggerate the power of our love and don't see what the other side really wants and needs.

Just like dreaming too much of the future without doing enough at the present, when we put too much of our resources -- time, energy, mind, thoughts -- to the people or things that we should have let go, we can't focus enough on the ones, including ourselves, that do need us at this moment. By doing so, we are accumulating avoidable regrets for our future. And that is what we don't really want.

For this, I thank the Devines. Chuck, I will help Mary as much as I can, and you take care of yourself!