Dear 斯葭, it is what I truely believe.

I sincerely wasn't just trying to comfort you.

In the past few years, I did quite a lot reading, research and thinking about live. I am not able to explain what I have learned accurately, even in Chinese, but trust me your father and you did give your mom what she wanted and she left with no regret.

As for your inner unsettling feelings, take it easy. Don't let them overtake you, yet don't force yourself too hard to get them out. My grandmother passed away nearly twenty years ago. I thought I'd never forgive myself for not going back to see her for the very last time, but I got it over recently when I finally realized that that is not what Grandma wants for me. And now I honor her and try to pay back her love in different ways.

Again, take care!