建議：

其實也沒有社麽建議，你的語調都讀出來了，隻是給小結一下:

For the first high-lighted part:
“…, men knew NO peace升and were NO BETTER than beasts降”.
The words NO and NO BETTER are read high-pitched (jump-up) and the word‘beasts’is read louder but low-pitched. 關於high-pitched vs. louder voice等著錄錄音就能更說明問題了

For the second high-lighted:
year升after year降

For the third high-lighted section:
處理方法多種，典型的是不是可以用一下兩種，一種是把單句當成一個對仗單位來決定升降調；另一種是把一個複合句當成一個對仗單位來決定升降調：

單句:
When kings升were not kings降, nor subjects升subjects 降；
Fathers升were not fathers降, nor sons升sons 降;
Hu*****ands升were not hu*****ands降, nor wives升wives降;
Brothers升were not brothers降; Friends升were not friends降.

Or
複合句:
When kings升were not kings 升,  nor subjects升subjects 降；
Fathers升were not fathers升, nor sons升sons 降;
Hu*****ands升were not hu*****ands升, nor wives升wives降;
Brothers升were not brothers升; Friends升were not friends降.

Or simply: 
When kings降were not kings降,  nor subjects升subjects 降；
Fathers降were not fathers降, nor sons升sons 降;
Hu*****ands降were not hu*****ands降, nor wives升wives降;
Brothers降were not brothers降; Friends升were not friends降. 

WQ這裏把單句當成一個對仗單位來定的升降調.