By accident or by design,
you are drawing her fire for Bob. So don't expect him to help you eagerly.
Not easy to just "control yourself." Even if you can, it'll take a toll on you in the long run.
Think you're dealing with a robot, it might help you set your expectations right. A robot has no conscience.
To brighten your day, here's a quote by Leonardo da Vinci:
"You will never have a greater dominion than that over yourself... the height of a man's success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment... He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others."
Disclaimer: Not a professional advice