周末一笑：Which woman?

1．Which woman? 哪一位女人？

One evening l drove my hu*****and's car to the shopping mall. On my return, I noticed how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit. When I finally entered the house, I called out. "The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

 

My hu*****and looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

 

 

2．Get the kid讓小的幹吧

A bit of advice for those about to retire. lf you are only 65, never move to ansrUrement community. Everybody else is in their 71s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell, "Get the kid．"

 

3．Honey, We've got a little car trouble 咱們的車出了點“小問題”

 

A wife said to her hu*****and, "We've got trouble with the car; it has water in the carburetor." The hu*****and exclaimed, "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous!" The wife repeated, "I tell you, the car has water in the carburetor. The hu*****and said, "But you don't even know what a carburetor is Where's the car? And the wife replied, "In the swimming pool"

 

4．The same service 同樣的服務

A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor.

 

"When I was first married, I was very happy. l'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. Now everything's changed. When I come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife barks at me."

 

"I don't know what you're complaining about, "said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service."

 

5．Anxious著急

The wife says to the neighbor: “My hu*****and has not returned all the night: I do not know where he went .It really gives me a hang up!"

 

An insider says: "Let it be. Would you know where he went, l dare to say that you would be more anxious."

 

6．A Pledge誓約

Grandpa was celebrating his l00th birthday, and everyone was complimenting him on how well he looked.” I‘ll tell you the secret, "he said. "My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who proved wrong would go out and take a walk. I have been in the open air continuously for the past seventy-five years."

（From Internet)