盧岩回憶錄
本人的回憶錄，宗教文化
目錄 Catalog：15.1 橋峰的武德教育 Bridge-Peak's Martial Virtue Education；15.2 盧堂右複仇 Hall-Right Lu's Revenge；15.2-7 鐵律 Iron Law；15.3 漢文化節 Han Culture Festival；15.4 盧堂左叛舜 Hall-left Lu Rebels against Shun；15.5 大禹平叛 Big Yu Suppresses the Rebellion
15.1 橋峰的武德教育 Bridge-Peak's Martial Virtue Education
在去往報名登記處的途中，塵香問身邊的人，江南鶴是誰？一位考生告訴他，江南鶴是一位苗族百花穀祖廟的護法，以“鐵膽水上漂”， “八步趕禪”，和 “朱砂掌”而著稱於世。
On the way to the registration office, Dust-scent asked the people around him, who is the “Crane of the Yangzi River South”? A candidate told him that He is the guardian of the Miao ancestral temple at "Hundred Flowers Valley” and is famous for "Iron Gallbladder Floating on Water", "Eight Steps to Chasing Chan", and "Cinnabar Sand Palm".
塵香又問：“我聽說江南有很多穀，這百花穀很出名嗎？” 有考生告訴他：“百花穀盛產多種名貴的草藥。現在我們國家有30多位將軍是苗族人。他們每一位將軍選擇一味草藥的名字來命名他自己的出處。例如有將軍來自 ‘絕情穀’，這名字就源於百花穀盛產 ‘斷腸草’。又將軍來自 ‘情花穀’，名字就源於百花穀盛產 ‘情花’。實際上，江南的將軍有三分之一來自 ‘百花穀’。”
Dust-scent asked again: "I heard that there are many valleys south of Yangzi River, is this ‘Hundred Flowers Valley’ very famous?" A candidate told him: "Hundred Flowers Valley is rich in many kinds of precious herbs. Now there are more than 30 generals in our country who are Miao people. Each of them chooses the name of an herb to name his own origin. For example, there is a general from the "Feelingless Valley", and this name comes from the fact that Hundred Flowers Valley is rich in "Heartbroken Grass". Another general comes from the "Love Flower Valley", and that name comes from the fact that Hundred Flowers Valley is rich in "Love Flower". In fact, one third of the generals south of Yangzi River are from the "Hundred Flowers Valley."
在這哥倆登記的時候，橋峰看見盧堂左（即塵香）和盧堂右（塵凡）是兩個親兄弟，就說：“我登記你們倆用一個名額，寫兩人的名字。這樣考官就會注意到你們倆是親兄弟，會給你倆每人加三分。他們願意讓親兄弟一起去打仗。這次我們的女媧故鄉縣參加將軍入學考試的口號是：錄取的人數比報考的人數多！”
When the two brothers were registering, Dust-scent saw that Hall-Left Lu (i.e. Dust-scent) and Hall-Right Lu (i.e. Dust-mortal) were brothers, so he said, "I will register both of you with one place and write both of your names. This way the examiner will notice that you two are brothers and will give you three extra points each. They are willing to let brothers go to war together. This time, the slogan of our Nuwa hometown county participating in the general entrance examination is ‘more people are admitted than the number of applicants!’"
橋峰聽說這倆兄弟來自大虎山地區，就問：“大虎山的龍山地區有兩個來自香港的下流作家，名為金庸和古龍，你們倆認識不？”
盧堂左回答：“大虎山地區沒多少人，那也是個有四個鎮，一百來個村的地區。我沒去過龍山鎮。怎麽，您和他們倆是朋友？”
Upon hearing that the two brothers were from the Dahushan area, Bridge-Peak asked, "There are two lewd writers from Hong Kong in the Longshan area of Dahushan, named Jin Yong and Gu Long. Do you two know them?"
Hall-Left Lu replied, "There aren't many people in the Dahushan area. It's an area with four towns and about a hundred villages. I've never been to Longshan Town. What, are you friends with them?"
橋峰回答：“我沒見過這倆小屄崽子，但他們倆汙蔑我是丐幫的幫主，還和少林寺那幫沒屁眼兒的禿驢是朋友！我好歹也是個大商朝的縣衛，怎麽能和他們那些邪門歪道鬼混呢！”
Bridge-Peak replied, "I've never met those two little bastards, but they slandered me as the leader of the Beggars' Sect and said I'm friends with those asshole-less bald donkeys from Shaolin Temple! I'm a county lieutenant of the Great Shang Dynasty, how could I associate with those wicked and crooked people!"
塵香驚訝地叨咕：“我沒想到咱們法庫縣有這麽多武術世家！？”
橋峰喝了一口他的狗葫蘆裏的酒，然後回答：“這些考生多數來自別的縣市，他們來咱這裏報名是為了學習女媧家的武功。”
Dust-scent muttered in surprise: "I didn't expect that there are so many martial arts families in our Faku County!?"
Bridge-Peak took a sip of the wine in his dog-gourd and replied: "Most of these candidates are from other counties and cities. They come here to register to learn the martial arts of the Nuwa family."
當橋峰教盧堂左和盧堂右功夫的時候，他還在教其它的考生 “降龍18掌” 。考生們認為那套女嬰創造的功夫有助於他們將來和 “天蓬元帥” 女嬰搞好關係。這哥兒倆對 “降龍18掌” 也很感興趣，但研習的目的是為了找出反製女嬰的方法。
When Bridge-Peak was teaching Hall-left Lu and Hall-right Lu martial arts, he was also instructing other candidates in the “Dragon-Subduing Eighteen Palms.” The candidates believed this technique created by Heroine would help them cultivate a favorable relationship with “Sky Ceiling Marshal” Heroine in the future. The two brothers were also quite interested in the “Dragon-Subduing Eighteen Palms”, but their purpose in studying it was to find a way to counter Heroine.
2 武德 Martial Virtues
一天，在演練休息的時間，橋峰讚揚黃龍（即黃帝大禹，如圖15.1-6）的禦劍術世界第一，可以斬首千裏之外的敵人。盧堂右聽後笑了，說：“請您跟我們具體說說，黃龍是怎樣在千裏之外砍下敵人頭顱的！？”
One day during a break in the drills, Bridge-Peak praised Yellow Dragon (that is, Yellow Creator Big Yu; see fig.15.1-6) for his sword-riding skills, claiming he is unmatched in the world and capable of beheading enemies a thousand miles away. Upon hearing this, Hall-right Lu laughed and said, “Please tell us in detail how Yellow Dragon managed to cut off an enemy's head from a thousand miles away!”
橋峰回答：“這是在頌揚黃帝的武德。我們武士都是天條（即約櫃，上帝）的保護者，尊黃龍大禹為祖師。大禹是金剛護法，是具德，是佛。例如有人要去殺大禹，向路人打聽大禹的住處。那位路人剛好是個賊，前些日子在佛堂許願，結果佛滿足了他的願望。那個賊心想，‘哎呀，我聽說對佛許願必須兌現。我就用你的頭顱來償還我對佛的承諾。’ 那個賊就把去刺殺大禹的刺客殺了，然後砍下他的頭，作為感謝大禹的禮物送到大禹的廟裏了。”
Bridge-Peak replied, “This is praising the martial virtue of Yellow Creator. We warriors are all protectors of the Sky Clauses (i.e., the Ark of the Covenant, God), and we venerate the Yellow Dragon Big Yu as our ancestor. Big Yu is a philosopher-stone Law Protector, all virtues, and a Buddha. For example, someone wanted to kill Big Yu and asked a passerby for directions to Big Yu's residence. That passerby happened to be a thief who had made a wish at a Buddhist temple a few days ago, and the Buddha granted his wish. The thief thought, ‘Oh, I heard that wishes made to the Buddha must be fulfilled. I will repay my promise to the Buddha with your head.’ So, the thief killed the assassin who went to kill Big Yu, cut off his head, and sent it to Big Yu's temple as a gift to thank Big Yu.”
盧堂右聽後，又笑了，說：“你這個例子發生的概率很小！你能不能說個發生概率大的例子。”
橋峰回答：“例如我聽說大禹恨一個奸惡之徒，就不惜跋涉八百裏，去砍下那個人的頭！”
一位考生笑著對橋峰說：“你什麽時候出發，我也去！”
After hearing this, Hall-right Lu laughed again and said, "The probability of your example happening is very small! Can you give me an example with a higher probability?"
Bridge-Peak replied, "For example, I heard that Big Yu hated a wicked person so much that I didn't hesitate to travel eight hundred miles to cut off that person's head!"
A candidate smiled and said to Bridge-Peak, "When are you setting off? I'll go too!"
盧堂左舉手說：“我也去！”
很多考生要跟橋峰一起去殺那個奸惡之徒。盧堂右說：“我想明白了，我也去！我可是真心的！”
橋峰對盧堂右說：“黃龍指揮著全世界的武器；這在一定程度上是真的。你看他就一個人就在我們大商朝的政治舞台上占據了四分之一勢力！”
Hall-left Lu raised his hand and said, "I'll go too!"
Many candidates wanted to go with Bridge-Peak to kill that wicked villain. Hall-right Lu said, "I've thought it through, I'll go too! I'm serious!"
Bridge-Peak said to Hall-right Lu, "Yellow Dragon commands the world's weapons; that's true to some extent. Look at him, he alone occupies a quarter of the political power on our Great Shang Dynasty's stage!"
3 中華武術 Chinese Martial Arts
盧堂左問橋峰：“你為什麽說少林寺是邪教？少林武功是邪術？”
喬峰回答：“一次女嬰宴請順皇和禹皇，我有幸參加了他們的聚會。談話間，我們請求禹皇表演金剛杵和屠龍刀。禹皇表演了。他的動作很滑稽，和戲劇舞台上表演的一樣！我和江南鶴都看呆了，大禹的肢體運動不協調（如圖4，5），不適合學習武術！後來大禹給我們解釋。佛門武功是密宗，因應佛肢體運動上的缺陷，舍棄了防衛，專注於殺死對手。練習佛門武術的人都活不長。”
Hall-left Lu asked Bridge-Peak, "Why do you say that Shaolin Temple is a cult? Shaolin martial arts are evil arts?"
Bridge-Peak replied, "Once, Heroine hosted a banquet for White-king Shun and White-king Yu, and I was fortunate enough to attend their gathering. During the conversation, we asked White-king Yu to demonstrate his philosopher-stone Pestle and Dragon-Slaying Saber. White-king Yu performed them. His movements were comical, just like those performed on a theatrical stage! River South Crane and I were stunned. Big Yu's physical movements were uncoordinated (as shown in Figures 4 and 5), unsuitable for learning martial arts! Later, Big Yu explained to us that Buddhist martial arts are Tantric, which, in response to the deficiencies in the Buddha's physical movements, abandons defense and focuses on killing the opponent. People who practice Buddhist martial arts don't live long."
喬峰繼續說：“禹皇委托我對金剛杵和屠龍刀的武術進行修改後傳於世人。我認同江南鶴和國防部的觀點，你們剛來這裏時表演的108式跤術是中華武術的核心。我結合江南鶴，女嬰等十幾位武術大師的意見，對金剛杵和屠龍刀法進行了修改，得到了國防部的認可。我教給你們倆的都是國防部認可的武術，都是正常的，健康的武術。少林寺教授的佛是理性的，假的，違背了佛本生的原則（參見13.8 《佛本生》），所以他們是邪教。少林寺的武術危害健康，都不是國防部認可的，所以說那些武術是邪術。”
Bridge-Peak continued, “White-king Yu entrusted me to modify the philosopher-stone Pestle and Dragon-Slaying Saber techniques before passing them down to the world. I agree with River South Crane and the Ministry of National Defense's view that the 108-style wrestling you performed when you first arrived is the core of Chinese martial arts. I combined the opinions of River South Crane, Heroine, and more than a dozen other martial arts master's to modify the philosopher-stone Pestle and Dragon-Slaying Saber techniques, which were approved by the Ministry of National Defense. What I taught you both are martial arts recognized by the Ministry of National Defense; they are normal and healthy martial arts. The Buddhism taught at Shaolin Temple is theoretical, false, and violates the principle of Buddha was Originally a Living Person (see section 13.8), therefore they are a cult. The martial arts of Shaolin Temple are harmful to health and are not recognized by the Ministry of National Defense, therefore those martial arts are evil arts.”
4
這時，大虎山鄉已經來了很多人了。盧堂左（塵香）和盧堂右（塵凡）開始轉移財產，把錢存放到了大虎山鄉的金庫裏，並且詢問秀才和跤手的來曆細節。
By this time, a lot of people had come to Dahushan (Big-Tiger Mountain) Township. Dust-scent and Dust-mortal began to transfer their property, depositing the money in the vault of Big-Tiger Mountain Township, and questioned Scholar and Wrestler about the details of their origins.
秀才和跤手看出了盧堂左的疑惑，說：“我們倆也曾懷疑，怎麽來盧家屯的人的素質都高？就研究了一下，我倆發現來的人講的故事都有些類似。原因是，我們來這裏就直接得到了房子和地。若這房子和地隨意地給出去，那大虎山鄉就成為丐幫的大本營了。所以政府在開放這裏的兩年前，就秘密地放出了這個地區白給房子和地的消息，而且每個縣是有名額限製的，隻能選送有用的人才。然後，他們秘密地觀察著遷移來的人口，趕走低素質的人，隻留下高素質的人。這樣，大虎山才能發展成為一個能為國家做貢獻的地區。”
Scholar and Wrestler saw Hall-Left Lu's doubt and said, "We both also wondered how come the quality of the people who came to Lu Family Village are high? Just after researching a bit, we both realized that the stories told by the people who came were somewhat similar. The reason is that we got the house and land directly by coming here. If this house and land were given out freely, then Big-Tiger Mountain Township would be the home base of the Beggar Gang. So, two years before the government opened this place, they secretly released the news that this area is given houses and land for free, and that there is a quota limit for each county, so that only useful people can be selected. Then, they secretly watched the migrating population, driving out the low-quality people and leaving only the high-quality ones. In this way, Big-Tiger Mountain can develop into a region that can contribute to the country."
15.2 盧堂右複仇 Hall-Right Lu's Revenge
目錄 Catalog：15.2-1 兄弟倆畢業了The Two Brothers Graduated；15.2-2 如何複仇 How to Take Revenge；15.2-3 爭奪金剛杵 Contending for Philosopher-stone Pestle；15.2-4 尋找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl；15.2-5 閹割鄭倫和陳奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange；15.2-6 鐵律 Iron Law
15.2-1 兄弟倆畢業了The Two Brothers Graduated
這天盧堂左（又名塵香）和盧堂右（又名塵凡）兩兄弟完成了橋峰對他們倆去參加武官考試的準備訓練，高興地向家裏走。橋峰還把屠龍刀的刀樣子獎勵給了盧堂右。盧堂左警惕地囑咐弟弟說：“這把刀是鐵的，不能開刃，一磨就壞了！”
盧堂右回答：“我知道！我信守對你的承諾，在22歲之前不磨刀，不殺人！所以，我不能和你一起去參加將軍入學考試！我自己留在這裏，等候你的好消息！”
That day, the brothers Hall-left Lu (aka. Dust-scent) and Hall-right Lu (aka. Dust-mortal) finished the training Bridge-Peak had given them for the military officer examination and happily headed home. Bridge-Peak even rewarded Hall-right Lu with a sample of the Dragon-Slaying Saber. Hall-left Lu cautiously instructed his younger brother, "This saber is made of iron; it cannot be sharpened. Sharpening it will ruin it!"
Hall-right Lu replied, "I know! I will keep my promise to you and will not sharpen my knife or kill anyone before I turn 22! Therefore, I cannot go with you to take the general's entrance exam! I will stay here and wait for your good news!"
盧堂左反駁道：“我自己去參加將軍入學考試就考不上了！你和我一起去，咱倆是兄弟，他們喜歡送親兄弟一起上戰場，所以給咱倆各加三分。沒有那三分，我考不上；咱倆的水平比那些武術世家的考生差多了。另外，沒有你，我不能實施叛亂來營救大禹叔叔。我自己打不過女嬰阿姨；我一叛亂，就被她給抓起來了。”
Hall-left Lu retorted, "I wouldn't pass the general's entrance exam on my own! You come with me; we're brothers, and they like to send brothers to the battlefield together, so they give us each three extra points. Without those three points, I won't pass; our skills are far inferior to those candidates from martial arts families. Besides, without you, I can't carry out the rebellion to rescue Uncle Big Yu. I can't beat Aunt Heroine on my own; if I rebelled, she would arrest me."
盧堂右回答：“那你見著她就逃，然後想辦法射傷她。”
盧堂左說：“我想過多次了。女嬰阿姨是咱舅爺二郎神和咱舅姥姥堯皇花費了三十幾年培養出來的天蓬元帥。我們不能傷害她。她受傷了，中華共和國的天蓬就塌了，會引起數千萬人流離失所，數百萬人死於戰爭。”
Hall-right Lu replied, “Then you run away when you see her, and find a way to wound her.”
Hall-left Lu said, “I've thought about it many times. Auntie Heroine is the Sky Ceiling Marshal, cultivated over thirty years by our maternal grandpa Second Wolf God and our maternal grandma White-king Yao. We cannot harm her. If she is injured, the sky of the Republic of China will collapse, causing tens of millions to be displaced and millions more to die in war.”
2 如何複仇 How to Take Revenge
盧堂右問：“你想怎樣為咱爹報仇？”
盧堂左回答：“我想這事很多次了。首先說，我們不能殺她。我已經跟你說過了，咱爹牛郎一輩子隻做過三件值得驕傲的事。第一件事就是娶小龍女（即舜王，嫘祖）為妻。他是咱爹最心愛的女人。第二，她是咱大商朝的黃帝，刺殺她會引起社會的動亂。第三，他是咱大禹叔叔的妻子；咱倆殺她對不起大禹叔叔。”
Hall-right Lu asked, “How do you plan to avenge our father?”
Hall-left Lu replied, "I've thought about these many times. First, we cannot kill her. I've already told you—our father, Cowboy, accomplished only three truly proud deeds in his lifetime. The first was marrying the Little Dragoness (i.e., King Shun, Lei Ancestor). She was the woman he cherished most. Second, she is White-king Creator (Emperor) of our great Shang Dynasty. Assassinating her would spark social upheaval. Third, she is the wife of our Uncle Big Yu. Killing her would betray Uncle Yu."
盧堂右叨咕：“這麽說我們就不殺她了。那我們得讓她難受一下，先殺兩個漢豬！”
盧堂左說：“我現在想出的報仇的方法是：把她綁架到一個地方，讓她跪在咱爹的靈牌前給咱爹道歉半個月。”
盧堂右叨咕：“怎麽就半個月呢？怎麽也得三個月啊！？”
Hall-right Lu muttered, “So we won't kill her after all. But we'll make her suffer—start by slaughtering a couple of Han pigs!”
Hall-left Lu said, “My plan for revenge is this: kidnap her to some place, make her kneel before our father's spirit tablet, and apologize to him for half a month.”
Hall-right Lu grumbled, “Why only half a month? It should be at least three months!”
盧堂左回答：“她是皇帝，國不可一日無君，半個月可能已經是極限了！”
兄弟倆商量了很長的時間，盧堂右決定如果盧堂左殺兩個漢豬（即漢神，土地老），他就跟隨盧堂左進京趕考。盧堂左同意了。
Hall-left Lu replied, “She's the emperor. The country can't go a single day without a ruler. Half a month might already be the absolute limit!”
The brothers deliberated for a long time. Hall-right Lu decided that if Hall-left Lu could slay two Han pigs (referring to the Han Gods, the Local Gods), he would accompany Hall-left Lu to the capital to take the imperial examinations. Hall-left Lu agreed.
15.2-3 爭奪金剛杵 Contending for the Philosopher-stone Pestle
兩兄弟來到鄭倫和陳奇（如圖15.2-3）守護的漢窯旁邊，尋找了個交通方便又僻靜的作案地點，把屠龍刀藏好了。盧堂左囑咐弟弟說：“先說好了，由我來殺，你看著！你不能動手！我有十幾次的作戰經驗，你沒有！”
盧堂右回答：“好！我隻是看著，若不是我看見你有危險，我不出手！你哪來的作戰經驗？”
The two brothers arrived near the Han kiln guarded by Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange (see fig. 15.2-3). They found a secluded spot with convenient access and hid the Dragon-Slaying Saber. Hall-left Lu instructed his brother, "Let's make this clear first: I'll do the killing. You watch! You can't lift a finger! I have over ten combat experiences, you don't!"
Hall-right Lu replied, "Fine! I'll just watch. If I don't see you in danger, I won't make a move! Where would you get your combat experience?"
盧堂左回答：“以前我常跟隨林衝和路引執行治安任務。我還去大虎山幫秀才和跤手修理丐幫和少林寺的禿驢兩次了。”
盧堂右問：“秀才和跤手負責向外發錢，怎麽還和別人起衝突了呢？”
盧堂左回答：“發錢是為了幫助對社會有用的人盡快在大虎山地區安頓下來。他倆不給乞丐，少林禿驢，和那些奸懶讒猾的人錢，那些社會的渣滓就有意見了，鬧事！”
Hall-left Lu replied, "I used to often accompany Before-charging and Path-leader on security missions. I even went to Dahushan (Big-tiger Mountain) twice to help Scholar and Wrestler deal with the beggars and the bald donkeys from Shaolin Temple."
Hall-Right Lu asked, "Scholar and Wrestler were in charge of distributing money, so how did they get into a conflict with others?"
Hall-left Lu replied, "Distributing money was to help those useful to society settle down in the Dahushan area as quickly as possible. If they didn't give money to the beggars, Shaolin Bald Donkeys, and those lazy, cunning people, those social scum would complain and cause trouble!"
鄭倫和陳奇聽說塵香（盧堂左）和塵凡（盧堂右）來參觀他們的漢窯了，迎接出來了。進到禮堂後，塵香和塵凡注意到了主座後麵的牆上供著女媧家的 “彤弓素矢（如圖15.2-1，2；注1）” 和 “金剛降魔杵（如圖3；注2）”。塵香問：“那弓箭和棍子很好看，能用嗎？”
注1，“彤弓素矢” 是集諦（參見第13章）的異名。集起是佛智，佛教哲學的代表。
注2，金剛杵是法四分（參見10.1節）的象征，是佛學理論的軸。
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, hearing that Dust-scent (Hall-left Lu) and Dust-mortal (Hall-right Lu) had come to visit their Han Kiln, came out to greet them. Upon entering the hall, Dust-scent and Dust-mortal noticed the "Red Bow and Natural Arrow (Figures 15.2-1, 2)" and the "Philosopher-stone Pestle (Figure 3)" of Nuwa's family commonwealth-ed on the wall behind the main seat. Dust-scent asked, "Those bow and arrow and the staff are very beautiful; can they be used?"
Note 1: “Red Bow and Natural Arrow” is an alternative name for Aggregate Crux (see chapter 13), represents Buddha’s Intelligence, embodying Buddhist philosophy.
Note 2: Philosopher-stone Pestle is a symbol of the Juristic Quadrants (see Section 10.1), serving as the axis of Buddhist doctrine.
鄭倫和陳奇立刻回答：“能用，這是順皇命令人打造的，送給我們倆的，所以我們倆把這兩件武器作為聖物供了起來！” 鄭倫說著，登上凳子，取下了那兩件武器。塵凡接過了弓箭，就開始練習射。
陳奇拿著金剛降魔杵，一邊指給盧堂右看一邊說：“這棍尖是金剛做的，可以戳穿盔甲。這棍子的大頭是個錘子。你媽舍不得往裏麵灌金子，所以這個錘心是銀子做的，外麵包著的是金剛。”
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange immediately replied, "They work! Emperor Shun ordered them to be made and gave them to us, so we've commonwealth-ed these two weapons as sacred objects!" Correct-ethic said, climbing onto a stool and taking down the two weapons. Dust-mortal took the bow and arrow and began practicing shooting.
Exhibit-strange, holding the Philosopher-stone Pestle, pointed to it and said to Dust-scent, "The tip of this staff is made of Philosopher-stone; it can pierce armor. The large end of the staff is a hammer. Your mother couldn't bear to fill it with gold, so the hammer core is made of silver, and the outside is covered with Philosopher-stone."
塵香接過了金剛降魔杵，說：“原來這棍子的大頭可當錘子用！我才明白第十三式 ‘金剛卸甲’是什麽意思。”說著，他對陳奇比劃著，“這招是這樣敲擊金剛武士的盔甲的！”
陳奇看出塵香和塵凡喜歡這兩件武器，想要，就說：“你媽定做金剛降魔杵的時候，她就做了三根。一根她自己用，一根送給我了。還有一根仍然在她的房間裏放著呢，舍不得給大禹。我們倆可以幫你把那隻金剛杵要來。”
Dust-scent took the Philosopher-stone Pestle and said, "So the big end of this staff can be used as a hammer! Now I understand what the thirteenth move, 'Philosopher-stone Armor Removal,' means." He then gestured to Exhibit-strange, "This is how you strike the armor of a philosopher-stone warrior!"
Exhibit-strange noticed that Dust-scent and Dust-mortal liked the two weapons and wanted them, so he said, "When your mother ordered the Philosopher-stone Pestle, she made three. She used one herself, gave one to me, and the third one is still in her room; she can't bear to give it to Big Yu. We can help you get that Philosopher-stone Pestle."
塵香聽後，不高興了；他用力地把金剛杵的尖頭戳進桌麵，把金剛杵立在了桌子上。鄭倫和陳奇還沒明白這哥倆是幹什麽來了，要過來勸說：“金剛杵隻是說法，它或許沒那麽結實！”
Upon hearing this, Dust-scent became displeased; he forcefully jabbed the tip of the Philosopher-stone Pestle into the table, making it stand upright. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, still confused about what the two brothers were up to, tried to intervene, saying, "The Philosopher-stone Pestle is just a symbol; it might not be that sturdy!"
塵香過去把正在靠近的鄭倫和陳奇摔到了牆邊，並順手抽出了他們的佩劍，扔到了桌子的下麵。這時，門外的衛兵聽見了打鬥，跑了進來。鄭倫和陳奇從地上爬起來後，發現塵凡的弓箭正對著他們倆，慌忙地舉起手，做出了投降的姿勢，並命令衛兵放下武器，不許傷害塵香和塵凡。
Dust-scent slammed Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, who were approaching, against the wall, and casually drew their swords, throwing them under the table. At that moment, the guards outside, hearing the fighting, rushed in. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange got up and found Dust-mortal's bow and arrows pointed at them. They hurriedly raised their hands in surrender and ordered the guards to drop their weapons and not harm Dust-scent and Dust-mortal.
塵凡驚訝地對塵香說：“我真不知道大哥你這麽厲害！我沒他們倆的力氣大，打不過他們倆！”
塵香說：“那你射掉鄭倫的盔纓，表示你打敗他了。”
Dust-mortal said to Dust-scent in surprise, "I really didn't know you were so powerful, brother! I'm not as strong as the two of them, I can't beat them!"
Dust-scent said, "Then shoot off Correct-ethic's helmet plume to show that you defeated him."
鄭倫和陳奇還在表示反對，塵凡已經射斷了鄭倫的盔纓。陳奇見狀，慌忙地摘下了頭盔。沉香對塵凡說：“那你射陳奇拿著頭盔手的袖扣！”
據說陳奇聽後，被嚇得尿褲子了。塵凡果然射中了陳奇的袖扣。
鄭倫和陳奇都表示：“把彤弓素矢和金剛杵送給你們倆！”
While Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were still protesting, Dust-scent had already shot off Correct-ethic's helmet plume. Seeing this, Exhibit-strange hurriedly removed his helmet. Dust-scent said to Dust-mortal, "Then shoot Exhibit-strange in the cufflink of the hand holding the helmet!"
It is said that Exhibit-strange was so frightened by this that he wet his pants. Dust-scent indeed hit Exhibit-strange's cufflink.
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange both declared: “We will give the ‘red bow and natural arrows’, and the ‘Philosopher-stone Pestle’ to you!”
15.2-7 鐵律 Iron Law
目錄 Catalog：15.2-4 尋找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl；15.2-5 閹割鄭倫和陳奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange；15.2-6 女嬰向舜王匯報 Heroine Reported to King Shun；15.2-7 鐵律 Iron Law
15.2-4 尋找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl
塵香要求看看金童和玉女。鄭倫和陳奇回答沒見過。塵香生氣了，要求他們倆靠牆站著，讓塵凡用箭射他們倆的袖扣。鄭倫和陳奇完全屈服了，承諾：一切聽從塵香和塵凡的指揮！
Dust-scent demanded to see Gold Boy and Jade Girl. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied that they had never seen them. Dust-scent became angry and ordered them to stand against the wall so Dust-mortal could shoot their cufflinks with arrows. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange completely submitted, promising to obey Dust-scent and Dust-mortal's commands in everything!
沉香對鄭倫和陳奇說：“你們倆負責管理這座漢窯，為我外公玉皇大帝製造漢神，輔佐他來統治這個世界。你們學習上帝的知識（如圖35至38，參見9.9節），怎麽能沒有金童和玉女的模特兒。這麽辦吧！我幫你們挑選出金童和玉女！”
Dust-scent said to Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, “You two are responsible for managing this Han kiln and creating Hans (i.e., Gods) for my grandfather, Turquoise White-king Great Creator, to assist him in ruling this world. You are studying the knowledge of God (Figures 35 to 38, see section 9.9), how can you do without models for Gold Boy and Jade Girl? Let’s do this! I will help you choose the Gold Boy and Jade Girl!”
鄭倫和陳奇同意了。
塵香從他們的學習材料裏找出了辨別金童和玉女的考題，挑選出了一些漢來考試。隨後，塵香讓鄭倫和陳奇也參加了考試。
塵香看了看答卷，說：“鄭倫和陳奇是金童和玉女類型的人！你們倆跟我們走一趟吧！別人不準跟著，全部進入會議室！”除了鄭倫和陳奇，塵香和塵凡把其他的所有人都鎖在了會議室裏了。
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange agreed.
Dust-scent found the test questions for identifying Gold Boy and Jade Girl from their study materials and selected some questions to test. Then, Dust-scent had Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange take the test as well.
Dust-scent glanced at the answer sheet and said, “Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange are the golden boy and jade girl types! You two come with us! No one else is allowed to follow—everyone else, into the conference room!” Except for Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, Dust-scent and Dust-mortal locked everyone else inside the conference room.
15.2-4 閹割鄭倫和陳奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange
塵香把鄭倫和陳奇綁架到了已經選好了的作案地點，對塵凡說：“我把他們倆閹了來給大禹叔叔報仇，你覺得怎麽樣？”
塵凡同意了。
塵香對塵凡商量說：“我去村裏找個劁豬的來給他們倆做手術。你看守著他們倆，可別自己動手！”
Dust-scent kidnapped Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange to the pre-selected crime scene and said to Dust-mortal, "I'm going to castrate them to avenge Uncle Big Yu. What do you think?"
Duts-mortal agreed.
Dust-scent then consulted with Duts-mortal, saying, "I'll go to the village and find a pig castrator to perform the surgery on them. You stay and watch over them, but don't do it yourself!"
當塵香帶著劁豬匠回來時，鄭倫和陳奇已經騙塵凡為他倆解開了繩子。塵香再次綁好了他們倆，然後示意劁豬匠去閹割他們。劁豬匠過去一看，那是兩個人，拒絕劁人。
塵凡拿著那把屠龍刀對劁豬匠說：“嗨！你的刀和我的刀的形狀一樣，但我的刀大。你若不用你的那把小刀劁他們倆，我就用這把大刀劁你！”
When Dust-scent returned with the castrator, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange had already tricked Dust-mortal into untying them. Dust-scent retied them and then gestured for the castrator to castrate them. The castrator went over and saw two people, refusing to be castrated.
Dust-mortal, holding the Dragon-Slaying Knife, said to the castrator, "Hey! Your knife and mine are the same shape, but mine is bigger. If you don't use your small knife to castrate them, I'll use this big knife on you!"
劁豬匠仔細一看，他的劁豬刀和塵凡的屠龍刀確實是一個樣式，回答：“我這是最新的劁豬刀樣式！你那把屠龍刀怎麽那麽大？”
劁豬匠別無選擇，回去就把鄭倫和陳奇劁了，拿著銀子就跑了。
當塵香為鄭倫和陳奇解開繩子後，這倆人站起來就跑了。
The castrator looked closely and realized his castration knife and Dust-mortal's Dragon-Slaying Knife were indeed the same style. He replied, "Mine is the latest style of castration knife! Why is your Dragon-Slaying Knife so big?"
The pig castrator had no choice but to go back and castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, then ran away with the money.
After Dust-scent untied Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, the two men jumped up and ran off.
15.2-6 女嬰向舜王匯報 Heroine Reported to King Shun
女嬰很快就收到了漢窯被打劫的消息。據說女嬰害怕了，她請娥黃陪她一起去向舜王（即順皇）匯報。娥黃也很害怕，這倆人像是犯了錯誤似的，低頭站在舜王的麵前。
舜王問：“什麽東西被搶了？”
女嬰回答：“除了鄭倫和陳奇被閹了，沒有別的財產損失。”
Heroine soon received news of the looting of the Han kiln. It is said that Heroine was frightened and asked Beauty Yellow to accompany her to report to King Shun (Emperor Shun). Beauty Yellow was also very frightened; the two of them stood before King Shun with their heads bowed, as if they had committed a crime.
King Shun asked, "What was stolen?"
Heroine replied, "Besides Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange being castrated, there was no other property loss."
舜王問：“誰幹的？”
女嬰回答：“不知道！那倆人給了那個劁豬匠一個銀元寶。隨後，那個銀元寶被強盜搶走了，沒留下任何證據。”
King Shun asked, "Who did it?" Heroine replied, "I don't know! Those two men gave the pig castrator a silver ingot. Then, the silver ingot was stolen by robbers, leaving no evidence."
舜王很長時間沒說話。
女嬰和娥黃問：“您看這事，應該怎麽處理？”
舜王回答：“我兒子已經為我處理完了，還處理什麽？”
King Shun remained silent for a long time.
Heroine and Beauty Yellow asked, "What do you think should be processed about this?"
King Shun replied, "My son has processed for me. What else is there to process of?"
女嬰和娥黃轉身向外走。舜王忽然說：“等等，你們倆可別說這話是我說的！”
女嬰和娥黃異口同聲地回答：“我們不傻！”
女嬰問：“是現在就把鄭倫和陳奇給您送來，還是訓練一段時間後再給您送來？”
舜王回答：“先送過來，我看看！”
Heroine and Beauty Yellow turned to leave. King Shun suddenly said, "Wait, you two, don't say I said that!"
Heroine and Beauty Yellow replied in unison, "We're not stupid!"
Heroine asked, "Should we send Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange to you now, or after they've been trained for a while?"
King Shun replied, "Send them over first, let me see!"
15.2-7 鐵律 Iron Law
鄭倫和陳奇被送到了舜王的接待室。舜王問：“誰幹的？”
鄭倫和陳奇回答：“是塵香！”
舜王回答：“嗯！？是我兒子幹的！？”
鄭倫和陳奇立刻否認道：“不是！不是！”
舜王不高興了，離開了。
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were taken to King Shun's reception room. King Shun asked, "Who did it?"
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "It was Dust-scent!"
King Shun replied, "Hmm!? My son did it!?"
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange immediately denied it, "No! No!"
King Shun was displeased and left.
周圍的護衛們給鄭倫和陳奇出主意：“你得說是塵香幹的！塵香是舜王的兒子。如果舜王問你，‘怎麽辦？’ 你回答，‘戴罪立功！’”
鄭倫和陳奇同意這麽說了。護衛們進去提醒舜王：鄭倫和陳奇還在外麵跪著呢！
The guards around Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange offered them advice: "You have to say it was Dust-scent who did it! Dust-scent is King Shun's son. If King Shun asks you, 'What should we do?' you answer, 'We'll atone for our crimes through meritorious service!'"
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange agreed. The guards went inside to remind King Shun that Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange are still kneeling outside!
舜王出來了，看見鄭倫和陳奇後又問：“誰幹的？”
鄭倫和陳奇回答：“是你兒子，塵香幹的。”
舜王想了想，回答：“你們倆想讓我怎麽處理？”
鄭倫和陳奇回答：“我們願意戴罪立功！”
King Shun emerged and, seeing Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, asked, "Who did it?"
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "It was your son, Dust-scent."
King Shun thought for a moment and asked, "What do you two want me to do?"
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "We are willing to atone for our crimes through meritorious service!"
舜王對護衛說：“帶他們倆下去吧！讓他們倆再想想！”
鄭倫和陳奇被關押進了死牢。
這是怎麽回事？前文說了，女媧造人出錯了，因為鄭倫和陳奇是同性戀，社會的敗類。現在，他們倆肯定不會再搞同性戀了，所以女媧（即舜王）造人繼續。造人的過程中，都有嚇唬金童的事件（參見第14章的六個上帝造人的事例）。受驚嚇與精神病相關，這在精神病學裏被譽為鐵律。
King Shun said to his guards, "Take them both away! Let them think it over again!"
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were imprisoned in a death row cell.
What's going on here? As mentioned earlier, Nüwa's creation of humans went awry because Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were homosexuals—scourges of society. Now that they're no longer engaging in homosexuality, Nüwa (i.e., King Shun) continues her creation. Throughout the creation process, incidents of frightening the gold boy occurred (see Chapter 14's account of the Six Gods creating humanity). Such fright is linked to mental illness—a principle regarded as an iron law in psychiatry.
鄭倫和陳奇被關進了死牢，就將被處死了，當然很害怕。他們倆犯了什麽罪？他們是守窯的將軍，他們的薪水是普通將軍薪水的三倍，說法上是守窯的將軍不能戰敗！因為守窯的將軍戰敗了，那漢窯的200至300位漢神就被凍死了。現在他們倆戰敗了，為國家造成了巨大的損失。
Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were locked in death row, awaiting execution, and were naturally terrified. What crime had they committed? They were generals guarding the kiln, receiving salaries three times that of ordinary generals. By decree, generals guarding the kiln could not be defeated! For if the kiln-guarding generals were defeated, the 200 to 300 Han Gods within the Han Kiln would freeze to death. Now that they had suffered defeat, they had inflicted immense loss upon the nation.
那麽，那些舜王的護衛給他們倆出主意，讓他們倆戴罪立功是什麽意思？意思是你們倆輸給了舜王的兒子，龍的兒子，還可以接受。你們倆回去繼續守窯，別讓那200至300位漢神凍死了，就立功了。
幾天後，鄭倫和陳奇被女嬰接了出去，送她們倆去和將軍一起訓練了。
So, what did the guards of King Shun mean when they suggested the two of them atone for their mistakes by performing meritorious deeds? It meant that since you two lost to the son of King Shun, the son of the Dragon, it was still acceptable. Go back and continue guarding the kiln—just make sure those 200 to 300 Han Gods don't freeze to death, and you'll have done your duty.
A few days later, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were taken away by Heroine and sent to train alongside the generals.
返回《三皇五帝》的目錄 Return Catalog of Chinese Codex
