Reasons for Yes vs Reasons for No; Check List 和買二手車差不多，沒有哎

YES:

Emotional Relationship Reasons

• Love and commitment — wanting a lifelong partner.

• Desire for companionship — not wanting to go through life alone.

• Stability and trust — marriage formalizes a dependable bond.

• Building a family — wanting children within a stable structure.

• Deepening intimacy — emotional, romantic, even spiritual closeness.

?? Family Social Reasons

• Shared values and cultural expectations — some cultures place high value on marriage.

• Family pressure or encouragement — parents or relatives may view marriage as a milestone.

• Social recognition — marriage can legitimize the relationship in society.

• Religious beliefs — many religions consider marriage a sacred duty.

Practical Economic Reasons

• Financial benefits — tax advantages, shared expenses, pooled assets.

• Healthcare and insurance — easier access to spouse benefits.

• Immigration or residency purposes — legal path to stay in a country.

• Household efficiency — sharing responsibilities and resources.

• Retirement benefits — Social Security spousal benefits, pensions.

Personal Growth Reasons

• Emotional support system — someone in your corner through life’s ups and downs.

• Shared life goals — building something meaningful together.

• Motivation and accountability — a partner can help you grow as a person.

Lifestyle Life Planning

• Desire for a structured life — some people like the clarity and stability.

• Celebration of partnership — wedding as a meaningful ritual.

• Creating a legacy — family, children, shared accomplishments.

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NO:

Emotional Relationship Reasons

• Not ready for long-term commitment — emotionally or mentally.

• Unresolved personal issues — trauma, insecurity, or instability.

• Fear of losing independence — some people value autonomy deeply.

• Different life goals — career, lifestyle, or children preferences misaligned.

• High conflict relationship — marriage won’t fix existing problems.

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Practical Financial Reasons

• Financial risk — divorce can be extremely costly.

• Debt issues — partner’s debt becomes a burden.

• Asset protection — keeping wealth separate.

• Better tax situation when single — especially for high earners.

• Alimony exposure — especially dangerous if incomes differ.

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Personal Lifestyle Reasons

• Preference for freedom — no legal or relational constraints.

• Enjoy single life — independence, mobility, fewer compromises.

• Career focus — marriage adds obligations and reduces flexibility.

• Not wanting children — marriage often comes with that expectation.

• Avoiding in-law complexities — family conflicts can be significant.

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? Legal Structural Reasons

• Divorce laws often unfavorable — depending on country/state.

• Prenuptial agreements can be awkward or rejected.

• Domestic responsibilities become legally enforced.

• Complicated joint financial entanglements — accounts, property, taxes.

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Social Cultural Reasons

• No longer necessary for social recognition — cohabitation widely accepted.

• Social pressure is declining.

• Some view marriage as outdated or unnecessary.

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Historical Demographic Reasons

• High divorce rates — globally 40–60% in many countries.

• Longevity has changed marriage — a 50+ year commitment is very long.

• People change significantly over decades — personal evolution mismatches.

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? Emotional Protection

• Avoiding emotional pain from divorce.

• Avoiding emotional dependence.

• Avoiding being trapped in a bad marriage — especially if leaving is costly.

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Check List:

Marriage Decision Checklist

1. Emotional Readiness

• Do I truly enjoy this person’s company long-term, not just short-term romance?

• Can we talk openly about difficult issues without fear?

• Is the relationship stable, not on-and-off?

• Do I feel respected, valued, and emotionally safe?

• Do I trust this person fully?

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2. Compatibility

• Are our values aligned (money, honesty, work ethic, family)?

• Do we want the same lifestyle (city vs. suburbs, quiet vs. social)?

• Do we agree on whether to have children or not?

• Do our financial habits match (saving, spending, risk tolerance)?

• Do we handle stress and conflict in compatible ways?

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3. Financial Stability Fairness

• Do I understand their income, debt, savings, and spending habits?

• Is either person financially dependent in a way that creates risk?

• Do we have a plan for protecting assets (prenup, separate accounts, trusts)?

• Will marriage improve or worsen my financial position?

• Are we aligned on retirement expectations?

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4. Life Goals and Future Plans

• Are we aligned on where to live long-term?

• Do we share similar expectations for work-life balance?

• Do we want similar levels of travel, social life, and family involvement?

• Have we discussed aging, caregiving, and health expectations?

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5. Legal and Risk Considerations

• Do I understand the legal consequences of marriage in my state?

• Do I know the costs/risks if the marriage ends (divorce, alimony, asset division)?

• Will marriage complicate or simplify things like estate planning and healthcare access?

• Should I consult a lawyer before marrying?

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6. Relationship Quality Under Stress

• Have we experienced real stress together (job loss, illness, conflict)?

• Did we handle it as a team, or did it tear us apart?

• Do we recover quickly after disagreements?

• Do we both apologize and take responsibility?

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7. Independence Personal Identity

• Do I still feel like myself in this relationship?

• Can I keep my personal independence, friends, hobbies, and goals?

• Am I marrying because I want to — not because of loneliness, pressure, or fear?

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8. Motivation Check

Ask yourself honestly:

• Am I marrying out of love, or out of convenience?

• Am I afraid of being alone?

• Am I trying to fix problems by marrying? (Warning sign)

• Would I still choose this person if nothing changed in the next 20 years?

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