波城新語 - 笑人也笑己，笑笑無壞意， 讀讀就算了，千萬別生氣！
冬雪倘雅淡，不走也不嫌，春風若溫暖，遲到也喜歡。
中美為何談崩了
中美貿易戰進入了新的一輪，在兩個稱兄道弟強人元首在阿根廷一番哥倆好之後，各自的代表就開始了談判，兩邊人馬在兩個國家的首都輪流吃喝，邊享樂邊宣稱談判進展順利，氣氛很好，可是到了最後的時候，卻談崩了，為什麽？
原來兩邊開始討論寫協議了，中方說你們的英文好，就由你們起草吧，美方聽了暗暗地高興，連忙答應，好的好的，no problemO！並馬上行動，寫了下麵的條約，給中方傳去。
Peking Treaty (Final for Signature)
Article I There shall henceforth be Peace and Friendship between the US of Great Again America made by the stable genius president Donald J. Trump and the People’s Republic of China with Perm. President Xu as its core) and between their respective Subjects, who shall enjoy full security and protection for their persons and property within the Dominions of the other.
Article II His Majesty the President of China agrees that American Subjects, with their families and establishments, shall be allowed to reside, for the purpose of carrying on their commercial pursuits, without molestation or restraint at the Cities, Towns and Villages in mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau and Taiwan, and Her Majesty the King of Great Again America, etc., will appoint Superintendents or Consular Officers, to reside at each of the above named Cities or Towns, to be the medium of communication between the Chinese Authorities and the said Merchants, and to see that the just Duties and other Dues of the Chinese Government as hereafter provided for, are duly discharged by Her American Majesty’s Subjects.
Article III It being obviously necessary and desirable, that Great Again American Subjects should have some Port whereat they may careen and refit their Ships, when required, and keep Stores for that purpose, His Majesty the President of China cedes to His Majesty the King of Great Again America, etc., the Island of xxx, to be possessed in perpetuity by His Great Again Majesty, His Heirs and Successors (Ivanka, Donald Jr, Eric, and Barron), and to be governed by such Laws and Regulations as His Majesty the King of Great Again America, etc., shall see fit to direct.
Article V The Government of China having compelled the American Merchants trading at China and its territories to deal exclusively with certain Chinese Merchants called Hong merchants (or Cohong) who had been licensed by the Chinese Government for that purpose, the President of China agrees to abolish that practice in future at all Ports where American Merchants may reside, and to permit them to carry on their mercantile transactions with whatever persons they please, and His Majesty further agrees to pay to the US Government the sum of Three Billions of Dollars, on account of Debts due to American Subjects by some of the said Hong Merchants (or Cohong) who have become insolvent, and who owe very large sums of money to Subjects of His Great Again American Majesty.
(省略不少)
劉大人收到美國人的條約後，找來穀哥，說小哥，這是你們美國來的，幫我翻翻。小哥一看，連忙報告，說：劉大人，這個協議看上去很眼熟，這些好像是抄襲了南京條約，你看你看，隻是把南京改成北京，皇帝改成了主席，把Her Majesty the Queen of Great Britain and whatever, 改成了His Majesty the King of the Great Again America, 把香港改成了全中國，把城鎮改成了城鎮和村子。
劉大人一聽，臉色就變了，說這些美國人怎麽比我想象的還懶，幫我改改，至少讓人Google的時候不能看出來是抄襲，穀小哥就連夜改了，說劉大人，這個如何。劉大人一看，說：不錯不錯，以後就任命你為劉大人的特命全權翻譯，如何，你雖然是美國人的AI，但我信任你。小哥聽了十分高興。於是就幫劉大人找來信息把修改的稿子傳給美國貿易代表蘿卜頭－賴他美擇。
老賴一看那些紅杠杠，看都沒看就跑去找川普，川普一聽說誰讓他們改的? 這不是把我們再偉大了的美國不放在眼裏嗎？於是說：老賴，打回去，說不能改，說完就讓躺在身邊沙發上的Kelly Ann把手機拿給他，馬上靈感一動，寫：中國人賴皮，不守信用，隨便修改已經談成的協議，別怪我不客氣了，馬上將關稅升高到25%。一推，就開始了貿易大戰的第二輪。
