【尼日利亞】加布裏埃爾·奧卡拉2022年3月2日星期三 曾經,兒子 他們常常由衷發笑 眼睛也透出率真 而現在他們僅是露齒發笑 冷冰冰的眼神卻在我的四周搜尋 曾經 他們的確握手真誠 但那已成為過去,兒子 現在他們握手,心不在焉 右手握著 左手卻企圖在我的空袋裏翻尋 “就像自己家一樣!”“再來啊!” 他們說。當我再來時 一次,兩次,感覺像自己家一樣 但再也沒有第三次--- 因我發現他們已經關上大門 所以我學會了許多,兒子 我學會了裝扮各種各樣的臉 就像適時更換自己的著裝--- 家裏的臉,辦公室的臉,逛街的臉,主人的臉 以及雞尾酒臉,帶著所有適宜的微笑 如同一張帶著永恒微笑的照片 我也學會了僅露齒發笑 也學會了敷衍式的握手 還學會了說“再見” 而實際上是慶幸將對方擺脫 學會了說“很高興見到你” 而實際上是滿心不願 學會了說“很樂意與你交談” 而實際上是倍感心煩 但相信我,兒子 我想做回曾經的自己,就像現在的你 我想丟棄所有這些虛偽,待人誠懇 尤其是想重新學會怎樣發笑 因我在鏡中露齒的笑容 就如蛇露出獠牙般的可怖猙獰 所以告訴我,兒子 怎樣發笑,怎樣顯露自己真實的笑容 就如現在的你,我的曾經 後記:此詩語言樸素,風格獨特,如父子在壁爐前對話。一個人從童年到成年,學會了圓滑,卻丟棄了童真。 原文 by Gabriel Okara Once upon a time, son, they used to laugh with their hearts and laugh with their eyes: but now they only laugh with their teeth, while their ice-block-cold eyes search behind my shadow. There was a time indeed they used to shake hands with their hearts: but that’s gone, son. Now they shake hands without hearts while their left hands search my empty pockets. ‘Feel at home!’ ‘Come again’: they say, and when I come again and feel at home, once, twice, there will be no thrice- for then I find doors shut on me. So I have learned many things, son. I have learned to wear many faces like dresses – homeface, officeface, streetface, hostface, cocktailface, with all their conforming smiles like a fixed portrait smile. And I have learned too to laugh with only my teeth and shake hands without my heart. I have also learned to say,’Goodbye’, when I mean ‘Good-riddance’: to say ‘Glad to meet you’, without being glad; and to say ‘It’s been nice talking to you’, after being bored. But believe me, son. I want to be what I used to be when I was like you. I want to unlearn all these muting things. Most of all, I want to relearn how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs! So show me, son, how to laugh; show me how I used to laugh and smile once upon a time when I was like you. |