10／21／2018
秋天了，小院的清晨涼意陣陣。久坐院中，一件外套已經不能禦寒。
當我眼睛從書本中抬起，一眼就瞥見那邊牆角的牛油果樹。昨日終於砍了它了，現在隻剩下了光禿禿的杆子筆直地站在那裏。
已經記不清是哪一年開始種下的，隻記得是從一個吃完的牛油果核發的芽，隨手埋在土裏，根本沒想過它會長那麽高，快高過鄰居家的二樓屋頂，繁茂的枝條伸展著、張揚著，打破了原本的和諧。雖然鄰居並不曾抱怨過(當然，他們家的香蕉樹不僅擋住了我的窗戶, 葉子還伸到我的院子，見圖三)，但是其間的隱患讓我們不得不下了決心。
想來這樹在後院一定有七八年了。早些年，隻長葉，不開花，更談不上結果。但是，寬大的樹葉卻被蜂鳥傾心鍾情。蜂鳥媽媽一而再再而三地來築巢生娃，不結果的牛油果樹像是四“巢”元老，有了它的用武之地。
最近三年，終於開花了，每年數百朵小花密密麻麻，落了一地卻不見果實的影子。直到今年四五月，兩顆牛油果從一樹的繁花中不負眾望脫穎而出，至今依然青青如故，高掛樹中。
或許，2018年可以算是收獲的一年。種了四年的火龍果，今年第一次勉勉強強地結了一個，讓我喜出望外，如獲至寶地從家中帶到了西雅圖，和女兒一起品嚐了今生吃過的最好吃的火龍果，皮薄，汁多，甜；百香果種了三年了，今年是頭一年結果，果子倒是結了一些，然而百香果徒有虛名，抑或是後院的陽光太少，結出的果子沒有什麽水分，隻有幹癟癟的籽和那麽一點點獨特的香味。再有就是在這兩個牛油果了，昨日砍下時又青又硬，尚不知會不會變軟，尚不知味道如何。
不過，我已經很心滿意足了，巴掌大的小院，陽光照不了幾個小時的地方，本來就沒有多大奢望，而它們終也沒有讓我太失望，雖然寥寥幾個不起眼，但卻實實在在是來自自家的後院，它們是在我的目光中、期盼中一日日長大、開花、結果，朝夕相伴了我這麽些年。雖然今日無奈，樹（牛油果樹）藤（百香果）皆已被砍，然而它們偉岸繁茂的身影卻存留在記憶裏、文字中，伴著綻放的笑容、綽約的風姿一起載入博客：))
特附拙詩一首
告別
八年後的一個周六
空氣中依然彌漫著夏的執著
我作別
你青青如故的身影
揮一揮衣袖
繁枝紛紛墜落
七年望眼欲穿的等候
等來了你的花開花落
等來了最後的秋果
卻又在此時此刻
選擇了與你的分手
但至少
我見證了
你七年的相守
一直在那個角落
無怨無悔
伴我春夏秋冬
默默地
我收拾起你的所有
沒有憂傷 沒有落寞
沒有難分難舍
隻是拚命地嗅著
你殘留的香味
想把你永久
鎖進記憶的深秋
The idea of cutting down the avocado tree has been simmering for a year or two, as the tree grows bigger and taller that could potentially pose an issue with the neighbor. When I first planted it from a seed more than seven years ago, it was just an experiment, never expecting it to soar roof-top as it craves for more sunlight. I know cutting it down would make us worry free. But can I bear to see it to be cut, a tree that has silently been part of our home for so many years, a tree where hummingbirds nested four or five times, and a tree that starts bearing fruits now?
No matter how grudging I am, I know it is time. So, last Saturday morning, we borrowed from our friend a sharp long cutter. With a ladder, LD climbed up, while I stood underneath watching and helping. Two avocados, heavy and still green, hanging high up amid leaves, in the places that I know so well now, were beckoning me. I paid my final tribute to them, being thankful that at least I waited for the day their fruits were borne.
On the early Sunday morning the next day, I customarily stepped out to the backyard for the fresh air, with a book in hand. My attention was inevitably turned to the spot where it used to have a big shady tree, but now only a nude pole. My sadness was momentary, as it was soon overcome with the bliss of reading in a brighter backyard, where sunlight was now shed fully, without any obstruction.
A coin has two sides, so does everything in the world.
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