1 守財奴/The miser and his gold

Once upon a time there was a miser. He hid his gold under a tree. Every week he used to dig it up.

One night a robber stole all the gold. When the miser came again, he found nothing but an empty hole.

He was surprised, and then burst into tears. All the neighbors gathered around him.

He told them how he used to come and visit his gold.

"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them. "No," he said, "I only came to look at it." "Then come again and look at the hole," said the neighbor, "it will be the same as looking at the gold."

從前，有個守財奴。他將他的金塊藏到一棵樹下，每周他都去把它挖出來看看。

一天晚上，一個小偷挖走了所有的金塊。 守財奴再來查看時，發現除了一個空洞什麽都沒有了。

守財奴非常驚訝，然後便捶胸痛哭。哭聲引來了所有的鄰居。

他告訴他們他怎樣常來這裏看他的金塊。

問明了原因後，一個鄰居問：“你使用過這些金塊嗎?” “沒用過，” 他說，“我隻是時常來看看。”“那麽，以後再來看這個洞，”鄰居說，“結果就跟以前隻看金塊時一樣。”

2 因禍得福

A man was careless, always breaking something. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

　　有一個人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業好幾個月了。

　　最後他在一個瓷器店找到了一個工作。可是才幹了幾天，他就打爛了一個很大的花瓶。

　　經理把他叫到辦公室去，告訴他每個星期都要扣他的工錢，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問：“那個花瓶值多少錢?”經理說：“值500美元。”他很高興地說：“啊!太妙了，我真高興，終於有個穩定的工作啦。”

3 你叫啥名？/What is your name?

　 A:what is your name? 你叫啥名?

　　B:Hu胡(諧音:誰)

　　A:you~你

　　B:Hu~胡

　　A:Who?誰?

　　B:yes, I am~是，我就是

　　A:I want to know your name我隻是想知道你的名字

　　B:Hu胡啊

　　A:You!你!

　　B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊

　　A:So tell me about it那就告訴我啊

　　B:Hu!胡!

　　A:You! What is your name!? 你!你叫啥名?!

　　B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡。

4 五點鍾以後不收瓶子/No Bottles Accepted After Five O'clock

　　One day near closing time at 6:30, four young children arrived with bottles. Wanting to put a stop to this habit, I sternly asked each child if he was aware of the rules. Three shook their heads no, but the youngest said he knew. "Why then." I asked, "have you brought me these bottles?"

　　"I can't tell time yet." He said.

　　快到六點半下班的時候，四個孩子來退瓶子。為了製止他們的這個習慣，我嚴肅地問每個孩子是否知道我們的規定。其中三個孩子都搖頭表示不知道。隻有那個最小的說他知道。“那你為什麽還在這個時間來退瓶子呢?”我問他。

　　“我還不認識表呢!”他說。

5 他的錯

　 Billy: "Mother, Bobby broke a window."

　　Mother: "How did he do it?"

　　Billy: "I threw a rock at him and he ducked."

　　比利：“媽媽，波比打壞了窗戶的玻璃。”

　　媽媽：“他怎麽打的？”

　　比利：“我向他扔石頭，他躲開了。”

6 不要告訴他

　  Two twins went to the kindergarten. “Who's the elder and who's the younger one?” asked a nurse. One of them winked and said，“Elder brother，don't tell her.”

　　兩個雙胞胎走進幼兒園。“你們兩個誰大誰小?”保育員問。其中的一個眨了眨眼睛說，“哥哥，不要告訴她。”