1 隻有一次/Only Once

A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. "I understand your father was also a lion tamer," the reporter queried.

"Yes, he was," the man replied. 

"Do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth?"

"I did it only once," said the new tamer, "to look for Dad."

 一位馴獅新手正在接受采訪。“我知道你的父親也是個馴獅手，”記者說。

“是的，他是。”那人回答說。

“你真的把頭伸進過獅子的嘴裏嗎？”

“隻有一次，”那位馴獅新手說，“為了找我爸爸。”

2 美德/Virtue    

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.   

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered.  "Perseverance is a virtue."             

獲取研究生學位多年以後，我回到位於賓厄姆頓的紐約州立大學當教員。一天，在一個擁擠的電梯裏，有人抱怨電梯效率低下。我說自我在那裏當學生起，20年來電梯一直沒有換過。     

最後當電梯門打開時，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑。“你會拿到學位的，親愛的，”她低聲說道：“堅持不懈是一種美德。”       

3 數學沒及格/Flunking Math    

My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman year at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind., called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student.    

"Mom," he said excitedly, "I have found the answer to surviving college! It isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life. I'm lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!"   

"And just what does this mean?" I asked.   

"I'm flunking math," he replied.    

我兒子是印第安那州曼西市波爾州立大學的學生，大學一年級就上了院長的榮譽名單。第二年他學心理學，剛幾個星期他就給家裏打了個電話。     

“媽媽，”他激動地說：“我找到了如何在大學裏生存下去的答案!重要的不是分數，而是具備將學到的知識應用於日常生活的素質。我很幸運地有了這種奇妙的經曆。”     

“你到底是什麽意思？”我問道。    

“我數學沒及格。”他回答說。          

4 業餘工作/Part-time Job 

When my son was a high-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.  

"How was your first day?" I asked.   

"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."  

Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"  

"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"           

我兒子在高中的第二年時，在一家超級市場找到了一份將商品裝袋的業餘工作。他滿麵笑容地回到了家。    

“第一天感覺如何？”我問。     

“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟一些漂亮的女孩子講了話。”      

由於斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“你跟他們說了些什麽？”    

“你是喜歡紙袋還是塑料袋？”   

5 老板的主意/Boss's idea

When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

由於我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來，我就打電話給維修部。一位和藹的男人說我的打印機也許隻是需要清理一下。

他還說，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費，讓我最好看看使用手冊自己試著清理。

他的話讓我喜出望外，就問他：“你們老板知道你這樣阻攔生意麽?”

“事實上，這就是我們老板的主意，”雇員答道：“因為如果我們讓用戶先自行修理打印機的話就能從維修上掙更多的錢。”

6 可以選擇/You May Select

The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.

One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"

The wife said, "You may select the dish today."

The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"

"Cabbage."

"The others?"

"None."

"Then how to select?"

"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.

丈夫抱怨妻子總是做同樣的一種菜。

一天，丈夫回到家，問妻子：“親愛的，今天我們吃啥菜?”

妻子回答：“今天你可以選擇。” 丈夫感到非常高興，又問：“都有哪些菜呢?”

“卷心菜。”

“還有呢?”

“沒了。”

“那你要我怎麽選呢?”

“吃還是不吃!”妻子說。