1 生日 Birthday
Professor: When is your birthday?
Kid: May 9.
Professor: Which year?
Kid: Every year.
教授：你的生日是什麽時候？
孩子：5月9日。
教授：哪一年？
孩子：每年都是。
2 讓人無奈的孩子 Boy, Oh Boy
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. One Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming, grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty.”
我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個，”我嚴厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許胡扯，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。”
我剛轉身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄髒吧。”
3 愚蠢的問題 Stupid Question
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Every day, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.
But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
丹在一個大城市的某個俱樂部當守門人。每天都有數千人經過他的門口，而且許多人都會停下來問他:“請問現在幾點？”
幾個月後，丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問題了，我要去買一隻大鍾，把它掛在這兒的牆上。”於是他買了一隻鍾，把它掛在了牆上。
“現在人們總不會再停下來問我時間了。”他高興地想。
可是打那以後，每天仍有許多人停下來，看看鍾，然後問丹:“這鍾準嗎？”
4 煙卷遲早都會點著的 The cigarettes will be on fire
Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.
'I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.'
'Don't worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.' He said with a smile.
瑪麗非常討厭丈夫吸煙，一天對他抱怨說：“我希望有一天所有卷煙廠都失火。”
“不用擔心，親愛的，所有的煙卷遲早都會點著的。”他笑著說。
5 跳上跳下 Jump up and down
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
媽媽：你為什麽不停地跳上跳下的？
湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖動瓶子了。
6 給女士讓座 Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
小強尼說：“媽媽，今天早上和爸爸在公車上時，他叫我讓座給一位女士。”
媽媽說：“你做得很對呀。”
“但是，媽媽，我是坐在爸爸膝蓋上的。”
(from internet)
