在快克沙和許多其他網友的要求下我從我幹爹哪裏要來了這楨照片， 可以看出陶陶是一個清秀而細膩的女人。

陶陶生前敬佩這一對美國黑人老人家，與他們取得了聯係。除了請他們過目文章，還寄上了這張照片。

陶陶的去世，使這對老人萬分的悲痛，特別請我帶他們向所有關心陶陶的中國朋友們致謝。

陶陶，請你走好。。。。。

My American Mother
(By Tao-Tao)

It’s Mother’s Day again. I have read a lot of articles either in honour of or in commemorating of Mum. I do not want to be in the same swim. Here I want to do something different: to write an article to praise my God Mother because she is my American mum.

My God Mother is a black American. She is kind, pretty and capable. She is a celebrity. She was not only a professor in Business Department, but also the Chair of Association of Black Women’s Association Entrepreneurs of Los Angeles. She was invited many times to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Talk Show and every year on the Martin Luther King Day she was fully engaged.

I got to know my God Mother through my God Father. But in fact I established the relationship with my God Father after I got to know my American mum. This traced back to the first month after I arrived in America 25 years ago. I was one of the earliest Chinese students who went to America to further my study. Although I was sent by the government, I had to support my study financially myself. This created a financial problem. The moment the plane landed, I borrowed from others four thousand dollars and paid my tuition fees, then I was empty handed, nothing to eat, nothing to drink. Thanks to my robust health, I lived for two weeks on half a box of snack noodles picked up from the rubbish bin, chewing it every day with cold water. At that time I did not understand any English in the class, and outside class I did not know anyone. Calculating the days that two ends could not meet, thinking of the hope and entrust from home, and under great mental and financial pressure, I fell ill. High fever, stomach ulcer, and skin allergy attacked me all at once. First the high fever burned me unconscious, and then the hole in the stomach was so painful that I almost died of it, and at last the all body skin was dark and rotten. I was like a strong sorghum suddenly attached by the hail, shrank drastically within a month, withered, rotten, and was about to vanish in the field.

One day after I struggled to finish my class, I dragged my exhausted body, sitting on the cold cement floor, almost slept in. Except a few flies flying around my pale yellow face and the stinky body from the ulcer, people all detoured to pass me. At this moment, a black American woman came to me, judging from her simple but appropriate dress, her pretty, natural and graceful face, I knew immediately that she was not a general staff of the school. She came up to me, touched my head and looked at my face. She even rolled up my sleeve to check my rotten skin. When she roughly knew that I was a new student from China, she made a phone call. The first person arrived was the Dean of Engineering School. Without any hesitation the two of them sent me to a hospital. From their conversation I got to know that the middle-aged woman was my dean’s wife. She blamed that the dean was too ignorant of me and criticized the school’s inconsiderateness to our life. After I left the hospital the couple took me to their home.

Our Dean was the first black dean in American universities and also the first dean of an Engineering School. He had very high prestige at the university and among friends because of his profound knowledge and dignified personal appearance. Even so he listened to his wife both at home and outside of home. In the following two months, the dean agreed with his wife and did two things: first he lobbied at school to exempt my whole tuition fees until I graduated; second, he found me a full time job at the school’s workshop for every summer until I graduated.

Both my God Mum and Dad were very successful, and were regarded as leaders by their friends and in the local black community. But they do not have any child. After half a year, they officially asked me to be their adopted son. Many years later I asked my adopted mum: “Why are you so nice to me?” She replied: “Anyone will help you under that condition at that time.” “Probably” she smiled before she finished her words, “that is our fate.”

Both my God Mum and Dad are from a very poor family and they suffered a lot when they were young. My adopted dad was very smart when he was little. He worked hard to support his study and became one of the earliest PhDs among the blacks in the US. They struggled all the way, step by step to the upper class of the society. Therefore they have special feelings towards poor people, particularly those students from developing countries. My dad retired when he was 70. At his retirement ceremony, I was asked by the university to tell the rarely known story. People present were moved to tears by the touching story. It is said that the new dean has started looking for his adopted son.

It has been 25 mother’s days since I was in the US. Without exception every mother’s day I went to visit my mum and dad. From when I was a bachelor who was always fed meals there, till I took my wife to get to know them, I hold my first kid and carried my second one on the back to get together with my adopted parents, and years later to invite them to attend my children’s graduation ceremonies. Like this, witnessed by Heaven, praised by the sea, we accompanied them for a quarter of a century.

My God parents are 80 now. Each time when my children call them grandma and grandpa, each time when my wife diagnoses and treats their disease, each time when we get together to enjoy the family happiness, my God Mum would always embrace me, wiping her tears and said: “I have been given a gift of a wonderful Chinese son!”

Because of my God Mum, I not only have a special affection to Chinese, I also have fostered a special favouritism to the blacks. Usually black people’s companies are small, and they have difficulty getting big tender projects. Some are lacking bidding and technical expertise. I found that sometimes they quoted a very low price in bidding. I tried my best to protect and help them. I mentioned in one of my articles that I went to watch a Lakers’ game at Staple Center. I sit behind of O’Neil and Kobe. I was invited to this game by a 1.95m tall black boss who said this was a “thank you entertainment gift”, because I helped him avoid a $200,000 US dollar business loss. My company had the highest percentage of awards in public projects to Black Companies in Los Angeles.

There is a folk song in China: “No one loves you as much as your mum does in this world. The child who has a mum is treasured.” I am very lucky: my Chinese mum gave me life and brought me up. In America, I found my American mum. She gave me today, and made me deeply rooted in America and strongly fell in love with America.

My dear American Mum, Happy Mother’s Day!

我的美國媽媽

一年一度的母親節又到了，從網上讀了很多紀念母親或者是懷念母親的文章，我就不湊熱鬧了。這裏我別出另類， 寫一篇文章歌頌我的幹媽，因為她是我的美國媽媽。

我的幹媽是個美國黑人。 她善良，美麗又能幹。她還是一個名人，除了是大學的文學係教授之外，她還是洛杉磯黑人婦女協會的主席。她的演講能力堪稱一絕，曾多次被邀請上美國黑人著名主持人 Oprah Winfrey Show 的節目。每年的馬丁路得紀念日更是她忙得不可開交的日子。

我認識幹媽是通過幹爹，而實際上是因為認了幹媽才確立了我和幹爹的關係。這話追溯到了 25 年前我留學到美國的第一個月。我屬於是最早期到美國的中國留學生之一，雖說是公派留學卻是自費，這就產生了一個經濟問題。飛機落地我先借錢交了四千塊的學費，然後是兩手攥空拳，要吃沒吃，要喝沒喝。仗著自己的身體好，我在垃圾箱裏撿了半箱過期的方便麵，每天就涼水幹咬，對付了兩個星期。那時我是上課英文聽不懂，下課誰人不認識。算算入不敷出的日子，想想親人的囑托和大家的期盼，在巨大的精神和金錢的雙重壓力下，我病倒了。高燒，胃潰瘍和皮膚過敏三箭齊發。先是高燒把人燒得糊裏糊度，然後是胃穿孔把你疼得死去活來，最後是全身皮膚發黑潰爛。我象一棵茁壯的高粱突然遭到了冰雹的襲擊，在不到一個月的日子裏快速地萎縮，枯竭， 腐爛，即將消失在地裏。

一天掙紮著上完課， 我拖著疲憊的身體，坐在樓道冰涼的水泥地上昏昏欲睡。焦黃的臉色加上潰瘍後發臭的身體除了幾個蒼蠅圍著我打轉，人們都繞道而行。這時一個黑人婦女走到我的麵前停了下來， 她衣著樸實而得體，麵容美麗又大方，一看就不是學校一般的工作人員。她走到我的麵前，摸摸我的頭，又看看我的臉。甚至挽起我的衣袖察看我潰爛的皮膚。當她粗略地知道我是剛來的中國留學生時立刻打了個電話。第一個趕到的是我們工學院的院長，二話沒說他倆把我送到了醫院。從他們的談話中我才聽出這位中年婦女是我們院長的太太。 他抱怨院長對我的疏忽，責怪學校對我們生活的不周。出院後院長夫婦把我接到了他們的家裏。

我們的院長是全美大學的第一個黑人院長。他學識超人的背景和堂堂正義的儀表使他在學校享有很高的威望。但他還是聽太太的， 在外麵聽在家裏更聽。院長在隨後的一個月裏答應太太並且做到了兩件事：第一，他到學校遊說申請免去了我到畢業以前的全部學費。第二，他為我在工學院的工廠固定了每個假期的全職工作，直到畢業。幹爹和幹媽的事業都非常成功， 在當地的黑人族裔和親朋好友中他們也是領袖級人物， 可是他們沒有孩子。半年後他們向我正式提出了認我做幹兒子。多少年以後我問幹媽“為什麽對我這麽好？”幹媽說：“你當時那個樣子誰都會幫助的。”不過，話沒說完她也笑了：“我們有緣分吧。” 幹媽和幹爹雙雙出身貧苦，小的時候家裏窮受了很多苦。幹爹自小聰穎，打工掙錢上學，是美國黑人中最早的博士之一。他們是通過自己的艱苦奮鬥一步一步地走上主流社會的。所以他們對窮人特別是來自發展中國家的學生有著特殊的感情。老院長在 70 歲時才退休。在他的退休儀式上學校讓我上台講述了這段鮮為人知的故事，賺取了場上場下很多人的眼淚。據說新任院長已經開始在尋找他的幹兒子了。

我在美國一共渡過了 25 個母親節，無一例外每個母親節我們全家都是去看望幹爹幹媽。從我單身一人去蹭飯，到帶著老婆去認門，到抱著老大背著老二去團聚，再到邀請他們參加我兒女的畢業典禮，就這樣蒼天做見證，大海唱讚歌，我們一家伴隨著幹爹和幹媽走過了四分之一個世紀。幹爹和幹媽現已年逾八旬，每當他們聽到我的兒女親切地叫著“爺爺奶奶”，每當我的老婆為他們治病診斷，煮湯送飯，每當逢年過節我們一家團聚一堂，共享天倫之樂時，幹媽都會擦著眼角的淚水，抱著我說：“至少這一輩子我們做對了一件事， 就是找到了一個中國兒子。”

因為幹媽的緣故， 除了對中國人好，我的腦子裏又多了對黑人的偏愛。在公司裏我負責工程項目的招投標。圈裏的人都知道我特別地偏袒中國人。一般分包競標隻要有中國人的公司或中國人當主管的公司在，一般都不會跑標。（你們知道就行了，千萬別給我說出去。其實是因為中國人更吃苦耐勞，工作認真，精打細算罷了）再有就是特別地照顧黑人公司。他們一般公司規模比較小，人員流動大，所以很難拿到項目。特別是投標經驗少，技術力量不足，往往還會出現投標過低的問題。我盡自己的最大能力保護他們， 幫助他們。 我在一篇文章中曾提到我到湖人的主場坐在奧尼爾和科比的後麵觀看比賽，就是一個一米九五高的黑人老板帶我去的， 說是為了感激我為他們公司避免了 20 萬美金的損失。我們的公司連續多少年黑人族裔的中標率在洛杉磯都名列前茅。

有首歌唱得好：世上隻有媽媽好，有媽的孩子像個寶。我很幸運， 中國的媽媽生養了我，撫育了我。到了美國又遇到了美國的媽媽，她使我有了今天，使我紮根美國並且愛上了美國。

幹媽，母親節快樂。

北奧（本作品是寫實回憶，絕無虛構）