同博們,我的I am Mei Ling (1) 又全部更新了。最近一段時間,我又對它進行了多次的修改。一個重大的改動的地方,是我讓Mei Ling長了一歲,從kindergarten 變成了grade one的學生,如Mei Ling隻要六歲的話,顯得有點太聰明了,現在我讓她是七歲。另一個重大改動的地方,是有一些比較難的詞、小孩可能不知道的詞,我放棄不用,改用其它的詞。考慮到二、四行壓韻和每一段四行的音節syllable數要相同或相近,詞的選則上受限製較大。
舉幾個修改的例子,
(79) (old) It was my very second day In Canada, with Mom and Dad. When I woke up in the basement, I felt inexplicably bad. Inexplicably 一詞較抽象,以前之所以選用它,是因為它有5個音節,in·ex·pli·ca·ble,四句話的音節數就都是8。這次,我把它換掉了。 (new) It was myvery second day In Canada,with Mom and Dad. When I wokeup in the basement, I, Mei Ling,felt terribly bad. (96) (old) We quickly walked out of the dark room. A baby murmur, I clearly heard. I knew there was a small baby here. Last night, a baby's crying occurred. 以前為了和heard壓韻選用了Occurred一詞,但此詞小孩不大用。 (new) We quickly walked out of the dark room. I saw a small baby, with delight. I knew there was a small baby here. I heard a baby's crying last night. (99) (old) Unexpectedly, she fell down. Mom and I stood worryingly. The baby slowly stood up and Even came happily to me. Worryingly和me雖然壓韻,但不理想。 (new) Unexpectedly, she fell down. Mom and I worryingly stood. The baby slowly stood up and Came to me as fast as she could. (165) (old) At long last, the snow stopped. A minute, I couldn't wait. I put my winter coat on. I was first out the gate. A minute, I couldn't wait.一句倒裝。 (new) At long last, the snow stopped. I couldn't wait anymore. I put my winter coat on. I was first out the door. (132) (old) The big dog slowly got up, Swaggeringly, coming to me. I was so terrified that At once, I started to flee. Swaggeringly一詞,我很喜歡,放在這裏很形象、生動。但小孩不大用它,隻好忍痛放棄了。 (new) The dog's tail impatiantly shook. He slowly stood, coming to me. I was so terrified that At once, I started to flee. |