睿智女人的一生似乎注定要和男人,酒精與死亡糾纏不休。 桃樂茜帕克------詩人,作家,評論家,社會活動家,疑似共產黨員。可讓她名垂青史的,卻是她的睿智。這個睿智女人,結婚三次,其中有兩次是同一個男人,而這個男人還是個雙性戀,二戰期間在歐洲還有婚外情,最後還因藥物過量身亡。她嗜好杯中物,幾次自殺未遂。和第一任丈夫結婚懷孕後,她篡改了一句成語(put all my eggs in one basket)來調侃自己,說, “我把所有的卵子都給了一個狗雜種,真是活該!” ( It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.) 她擇偶的標準十分另類: “我對男人的要求隻有三點:他必須長得帥,心狠手辣,頭腦簡單。” ( I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. ) 她選擇了一位雙性戀的丈夫,原來她對異性戀有自己的獨到見解: “異性戀並非正常,普遍而已。” (Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common. ) 而她自己在婚姻之間隙也不是省油的燈: All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. (我隻需要有地方可以放上我的帽子和上幾個朋友就行。) “他和我共用的辦公室如此窄小,再窄一寸就釀成通奸啦。” (He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery. ) 因為她對世風日下已經見怪不怪了: “如果參加耶魯畢業舞會的所有女生挨個被睡過,誰也不會感到奇怪。” (If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. ) 作為文人,她最深明簡練是睿智之魂的道理(Brevity is the soul of wit),並把該道理發揚光大到女性內衣上來: “女性內衣的精髓就是簡約。” (Brevity is the soul of lingerie.) 她靠著爬格子掙錢,當然知道金錢的可貴: “金錢買不來健康。可我不在乎坐在鑲滿鑽石的輪椅上。” (Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair. ) “英語裏麵最美麗的兩個詞匯是:“內附支票”。” (The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.' ) “把奢侈生活搞定了,日常生活自會搞定自己。” ( Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. ) “薪水不是我的目標。我要的隻不過有足夠的錢讓靈肉分離而已。” (Salary is no object; I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. ) 嗜酒如命的她,知道女人貪杯的危險何在: “我想來杯馬蒂尼,最多也就兩杯齊,三杯之後鑽桌底,再喝就被主人騎。” ( I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. ) 對人間的良辰美景,春花秋月,她已經波瀾不興: “夏日催人眠,秋色令我吟。冬景不堪看,春色恨綿綿。” (Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, But I hate Spring.) 她希望她的墓碑上這麽寫著:
“無論她去何方,包括此地,都有悖她的英明決斷。”
(Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.)
在她麵前,連死神都顯得很弱智。 |