4年前寫的
Night train
It drizzles at midnight in spring
Raindrops tap, tap
awaken the dozing night train
The aged and worn green cars wobble
the wandering wooden benches
and my few threads of silver hairs
that roam and blur in dim light
One stop after another
surge on bands of teens
I look for scarlet
in the crowd
for the first spread of scarlet on your lips
in my memory
Dream after dream
the night train horns its destination on an autumn morning
Tide off bands of teens
and vanish into the rainbow
I'm pulled towards a frozen tundra by the night train
but the first spread of scarlet on your lips
is still rubbing my pain
Front page pick 11 hours ago
Likes: , abd taala ibnali, kaye, Southernmoon, Jenny Middleton, risingdawn615, Joakim, Pisces Plutonian, CarelesslyHuman, Mahmudul Hasan Labib, querolzita, Megha2, Ivy A., Russell W
Ivy A. - A lovely memory expressed in such beautiful words and composition. But at the end it's one that evokes a haunting feeling. Very well written.
7 hours ago
risingdawn615 - I can visualize the imagry of the cold frozen tundra and a loved one missed on a ride in a wobbly green car with wooden benches of this train with bands of teens. I like the line "and vanish int he the rainbow." It's seems like a dream where a past memory merges with the present for just a fleeting second.
7 hours ago
Joakim - this great a peom, i can feel your intense emotion. Bravo
Lovely
8 hours ago
Southernmoon - This is an intelligently written and interesting poem. I love the: 'I look for scarlet'.. it tempts the reader onwards. And there it is again. Personal..private and romantically meaningful. I admire the final two lines. They lend a touch of mystery. Thank you for sharing such a fine write!?
10 hours ago
Russell W - Very evocative
11 hours ago
Jenny Middleton - Such powerful and vivid descriptions; I can picture the train and the journey you describe.
Aug 2019
Jenny Middleton - Lovely writing, Drawing on memories to create poetry is a great idea.
Aug 2019
abd taala ibnali -
This is fantastic, sexy
boiling like hot water
to end in apoplexy
as steams invading quarters.
Beloved poet. This quatrain is your review. Love, peace, and transmutation too.
AbdTaaAla IbnAli, or just call me AT.
Great.
Jul 2019
和GPT的評論比較一下
This poem, titled "Night Train," captures a poignant and reflective mood, blending elements of nature, nostalgia, and personal emotion. Here's an analysis:
Setting and Atmosphere:
The poem establishes a setting of a night train journey in spring. The drizzle at midnight creates a serene and somewhat melancholic atmosphere. The use of the night train as a central image suggests movement, transition, and the passage of time.
Imagery:
The raindrops tapping and awakening the dozing night train create vivid auditory imagery, emphasizing the contrast between the quiet night and the stirring train. The aged and worn green cars and wandering wooden benches evoke a sense of weariness and the passage of time.
Symbolism:
The mention of the few threads of silver hairs may symbolize aging or the passage of time, connecting the personal experience of the speaker with the aging train. The search for scarlet in the crowd could symbolize the search for passion, warmth, or a meaningful connection amid the mundane journey of life.
Narrative and Memory:
The poem unfolds as a narrative, with the night train making stops, carrying bands of teens, and eventually reaching its destination on an autumn morning. The reference to dreams suggests a reflective quality, as if the speaker is recalling memories or contemplating the passage of time.
Emotional Tone:
The poem carries a subtle emotional tone. The repeated reference to the first spread of scarlet on someone's lips suggests a deep emotional connection or a moment of significance. The pain associated with this memory is hinted at in the closing lines, creating a sense of longing or unresolved emotion.
Contrast:
There's a notable contrast between the external journey of the night train and the internal journey of the speaker's thoughts and emotions. The external movement of the train is juxtaposed with the internal reflections on memories, dreams, and emotions.
Closure:
The poem closes with the lingering pain of the first spread of scarlet on someone's lips, suggesting that despite the passage of time and the train journey, this memory remains vivid and emotionally charged for the speaker.
In summary, "Night Train" weaves together elements of nature, journey, and personal emotion to create a reflective and evocative portrayal of memory and the passage of time. The use of vivid imagery and symbolism adds depth to the emotional landscape of the poem.
GPT 翻譯
夜列車
春夜午夜中細雨綿綿
雨點輕拍，輕拍
喚醒了打瞌睡的夜列車
那老舊的綠色車廂搖晃
流浪的木椅
以及我幾縷銀發
在昏暗的燈光中漫遊並模糊
一個接一個的車站
湧動著一群群少年
我尋找深紅
在人群中
尋找你嘴唇上初次綻放的深紅
在我的記憶裏
這首名為《夜列車》的詩捕捉到了一種深沉而沉思的情緒，融合了自然、懷舊和個人情感的元素。以下是對其的分析：
背景與氛圍：
這首詩描繪了一個春夜列車之旅的背景。午夜的毛毛細雨營造出一種寧靜而略帶憂鬱的氛圍。將夜列車作為中心意象，暗示著運動、轉變和時光的流逝。
意象：
雨點輕拍，喚醒了打盹的夜列車，創造了生動的聽覺意象，強調了寧靜夜晚與醒動的列車之間的對比。老舊的綠色車廂和流浪的木椅勾起了疲憊和時光流逝的感覺。
象征：
幾縷銀發的提及可能象征著衰老或時間的流逝，將講述者的個人經曆與老化的列車聯係在一起。在人群中尋找深紅可能象征著在平凡的生活旅程中尋找激情、溫暖或有意義的聯係。
敘述與記憶：
這首詩呈現為一篇敘事，夜列車停靠，載著一群青少年，最終在秋日早晨到達目的地。對夢境的提及表明了一種反思的品質，就像講述者正在回憶往事或思考時間的流逝。
情感色調：
這首詩帶有微妙的情感色調。對某人嘴唇初次綻放的深紅的反複提及暗示著深厚的情感聯係或一刻的重要性。與這段記憶相關的痛苦在結尾處暗示，營造出一種渴望或未解的情感。
對比：
夜列車的外在旅程與講述者思想和情感的內在旅程之間存在明顯的對比。列車的外部運動與對記憶、夢境和情感的內在反思形成了鮮明的對比。
結尾：
這首詩以深深的痛苦結束，深紅初次綻放在某人嘴唇上的記憶仍然鮮明而富有情感，暗示著盡管時光流逝、列車行進，這段記憶對講述者而言仍然生動而充滿情感。
總的來說，《夜列車》將自然、旅程和個人情感元素巧妙地編織在一起，創造出一幅反思和富有感觸的記憶與時光流逝的描繪。生動的意象和象征的運用為詩歌的情感景觀增添了深度。
