醫院笑話集錦

在一本醫療雜誌上看到的笑話，沒翻譯，看原文更有意思。



A Collective From Medical Interview Records written by various paramedics, ER receptionists, and (we are afraid) a doctor or two at major hospitals.


* The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

* Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

* The skin was moist and dry.

* Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

* The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

* She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

* Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

* The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

* I saw your patient today, who is still under out car for physical therapy.

* The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

* Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

* Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

* She is numb from toes down.

* Exam of genitalia was completed negative except for the right foot.

* While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

* The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

* Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

* coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

* Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.

* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.