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5 friends you don't need in your life
By Judy McGuire,
October 24, 2009 10:39 a.m. EDT

Who was the first person you called the day your ex dumped you? Or that time you found a weird bump? Or the day you stumbled across that pair of barely worn Christian Louboutins at the Goodwill?
If you're like me, you called a girlfriend. While I love my man, and adore my cats to what some might consider a scary degree, the relationships I have with my girls is on an entirely different plane.
They're the funniest, smartest, weirdest (in a good way!) gaggle of broads I've ever met and I feel lucky every day to have them around.
It wasn't always this way. I've had to prune my posse (please note that I've also been kicked out of people's lives as well) and have discovered some types to avoid.
Drama queen
The Drama Queen isn't happy unless she's freaking out. Little things us boring normals would shrug off -- like a missed bus or parking ticket -- become monumental shriekfests. She doesn't get the flu, she gets oh-my-god-I-think-it's-cancer! Everything is a crisis, and she demands constant handholding and attention.
Luckily, these types can't help but reveal their true colors pretty quickly and unless you're content to be cast as an extra in your own life, you'll banish her from the set.
Nurse Betty
There is nothing that makes this one as happy as a friend in need. This may seem like a good quality (and often is -- for a while), but once you've got your butt back in gear, she either loses interest or, worse, reminds you constantly of how bad things once were, in the hopes that you'll fall back into feeling like crap so she can "save" you again.
You have two choices with this type -- either arrange it so you're constantly in crisis, or pretend you're problem-free so she gets bored. Better yet, introduce her to the drama queen --they'll be very happy together.
Lady-hater
"I don't have female friends because all the women I meet are jealous of me." Yes, someone actually said this to me. Instead, this person prefers her friends to be of the male variety -- ideally hopelessly in love with her and willing to do her bidding.
You don't really have to worry about ditching this snot because she doesn't want anything to do with you in the first place.
The critic
Also known as the frenemy, the critic is chockfull of helpful suggestions. For instance, you know your favorite dress? Well, it makes you look kind of fat. No offense. Speaking of which -- have you gained a little weight? Or are you pregnant? Are you sure? Well, never mind, you can have some of her old "fat" clothes since she has no use for them anymore.
Understandably, Critics have a fairly high turnover rate in the friend department. I unfriended one such mean girl only to have her show up at a mutual friend's birthday party -- for the sole purpose of telling the birthday girl exactly what was wrong with her!
The leg humper
Do you know what it's like to walk into a bar and find one of your closest friends making out with the guy you've had a crush on for an entire year? I do! Granted, that's nowhere near as bad as my friend Melissa who discovered her hu*****and was schtupping her BFF, but still. It stung. And sure, nobody forced Melissa's hu*****and to be a cheating jerk, but a good girlfriend never would've gone there with him.
You'll know when you're in the presence of one of these bottom-feeders by the way you become invisible the second there's a guy in the vicinity.
So yeah, I had to learn the hard way. But having been put through the wringer by these types of lady-scoundrels makes me doubly appreciate the awesome dames I still have in my life.

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great reading~~ -梅石瑩玉- 給 梅石瑩玉 發送悄悄話 梅石瑩玉 的博客首頁 (78 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 17:10:34

謝謝梅石瑩玉喜歡! -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (105 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 17:19:35

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剛剛考古看到你的貼。 -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (70 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 17:34:28

回複:剛剛考古看到你的貼。 -梅石瑩玉- 給 梅石瑩玉 發送悄悄話 梅石瑩玉 的博客首頁 (74 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 17:40:01

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謝謝任兄!你的朗讀也很不錯! -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 17:28:31

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Lilac好! -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (180 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 17:48:26

謝mm誇獎俺的中文,汗一個。俺就想多花點時間先把E文學好點 -lilac09- 給 lilac09 發送悄悄話 lilac09 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/31/2009 postreply 07:16:05

Indeed a stunning performance -selfselfself- 給 selfselfself 發送悄悄話 (32 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 18:50:27

謝謝鼓勵! -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 21:52:07

Very nice reading! -^3.1415926^- 給 ^3.1415926^ 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 19:28:29

很高興“派”同誌喜歡!嗬嗬。 -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 21:53:49

高山仰止。 -北京二號- 給 北京二號 發送悄悄話 北京二號 的博客首頁 (62 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 19:59:03

北京二號過獎了。我下次爭取讀成圓舞曲:-) -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 21:56:02

翹首以待! -北京二號- 給 北京二號 發送悄悄話 北京二號 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/31/2009 postreply 00:48:35

語調真是沒說的,中國人擁有這樣的語調很不容易了! -小千...千與千尋- 給 小千...千與千尋 發送悄悄話 小千...千與千尋 的博客首頁 (686 bytes) () 10/30/2009 postreply 22:07:06

謝謝小千MM美言。 -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (1716 bytes) () 10/31/2009 postreply 12:38:28

舞曲mm, 不知您聽過小千mm朗讀沒有,她也是這譚裏的star -lilac09- 給 lilac09 發送悄悄話 lilac09 的博客首頁 (251 bytes) () 10/31/2009 postreply 17:18:20

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來晚了。75° 角仰視高手 -馬奎- 給 馬奎 發送悄悄話 馬奎 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 10/31/2009 postreply 09:24:50

謝謝樓上幾位勤奮同學的鼓勵!我繼續努力。 -小步舞曲- 給 小步舞曲 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 10/31/2009 postreply 15:30:28

太牛了。敢問是從國內來嗎? -王二傻- 給 王二傻 發送悄悄話 王二傻 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 11/03/2009 postreply 09:11:36

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