俺又來多嘴了。這種“big topic”文章不好寫。易寫泛寫空。。。

來源: 2009-10-25 08:14:24 [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀:

俺很慶辛俺已再不用為什麽考試而寫這種幹八八的命題作文了,這可能是變老的唯一好處。俺汗一個。

話又說回來,任何文章,都可以不寫成幹八八,任何文章再大的命題,都不要feel intimidated,從小處著手,從細解分析,小中見大,文章才能有血有肉。

樓主對命題有思考,您的觀點是”高科技加大了貧富懸殊”, 支持的細節理由如下
1 Poor people at first can’t afford expensive hi-tech stuff.
2. Secondly using Hi-tech stuff needs some education and training, which is what the poor lack in.
3.Hi-tech let the rich richer.

這些想法都很好, 但細節展開不夠,長難句堆砌,讀起來發澀.. 既然您提到了bill gates,不如就拿他和microsoft說事.

俺就編個東東來分析:

Albert , a janitor in Microsoft who has 2 kids and wife to support, earns minimum wage 8 bucks per hour, less than 20k a year. A $500 buck cheap brand computer may be the last thing on his mind. Even if he buys one, he has very has limited usage of it expect checking emails or web surfing. Hi-tech for him seems only for entertainment.

While for Dennis, a software developer in Microsoft, with generous salary of 120K a year, buying a name brand computer is like buying a toy. After work, he moonlights as a part-time programmer for some small companies. Using his computer and programming skills, he raked in 50k in his spare time last year.

Bill Gate, the head of Microsoft, quadrupled his fortune to about 60 Billion in a couple of years. (bill gates這兩年具體咋用高科技玩錢的,您得再google, google, 俺隻是說個意思)

From above, we can see hi-tech bring Albert, on lower rung of society ladder, almost $0 extra profit; 50k more for middle class Dennis while billons of dollars more for hi-tech magnate Bill gates.

綜上所述.分析, one can see at first the poor usually can’t afford…., even if they can afford, they don’t have enough education and training to use it to….. Hi-tech let the rich richer, the poor poorer. 這您把您的big gun,大長句都端出來,從理論高度上煽乎

您還可以再把問題拔高點,俺給你個reason NO 4,

Rich people can exert substantial influence over the government and even the direction of society. With money, power and knowledge, they can lobby for/against a bill for their own benefits to increase more fortune for them.

給出事例 for reason No4 ,老 bill again.
Last year, Bill Gates testified before the House Committee what he sees as a need to liberalize rules for H1-B visas for skilled foreign workers and he wants the government to make it easier for Microsoft to hire foreign-born workers due to the deficit of Americans with computer-science degrees.

Can you image how much influence Albert can bring for his job? Working his axx off to keep it is the only thing he can do to in this severe economic down turn.

最後,要收文了,把您權威統計搬出來鎮場,說明您的理論不是自個躺被窩裏瞎琢磨出來的
Last but not least, the American economic statistics show that, from 1990 to 2005, the income gap between the rich and the poor in the USA became larger than ever in the history. And many experts agree that the widespread use of new technology makes the gap wider instead of narrower between the poor and the rich

然後,您的conlusion段。文章結束