Please allow three brilliant retorts...

Classic Retort

Comment: “You still ride that old bike?” Retort: “Yeah—because it still works. Unlike your last three e-bikes.”

Witty Retort

Comment: “E-bikes are the future.” Retort: “Then I guess I’m happily stuck in the present—where things still make sense.”

Bold Retort

Comment: “You’re just afraid of change.” Retort: “No, I’m just allergic to unnecessary tech and overpriced batteries.”