周末一笑: 《思想者》(ZT)

1 《思想者》/ The Thinker

Two boys were admiring the famous statue by Rodin entitled The Thinker.

"What do you suppose he's thinking about?” asked one.

"I guess he's thinking about where he put his clothes." replied the other.

兩個男孩正在欣賞羅丹的著名雕塑《思想者》。

“你猜他在想什麽”其中一個問道。

“我猜他是在想他把衣服放在哪裏了。”另一個回答說。

2 懲罰/Punishment

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this. By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

小女孩從學校回到家，對媽媽說：“媽媽，今天在學校我因為沒做過的事受到了懲罰。”

媽媽驚叫著說：“那太糟糕了！我要去和你的老師談一談這件事。順便問一下，你沒做過什麽？”

小女孩回答說：“家庭作業。”

3 孩子的祈禱/Children's Prayer

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle. I pray for a new toy."

His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

兩個小男孩在祖父母家過夜。睡覺的時候，兩個小男孩跪在床邊開始祈禱，這時小一些的孩子扯開嗓子大聲喊道：“我祈求得到一輛自行車。我祈求有一個新玩具。”

他的哥哥靠過來，用肘輕碰他說：“你為什麽這麽大聲喊叫呢？上帝又不是聾子。”

弟弟回答說：“是的，但是奶奶聽不到呀！”

4 插在何處/Where It Should Be Plugged

A mother is very good at using every chance to educate his son, who was only three years old. One day, she took a plug and said to her son, "Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes. Where do you think it should be plugged?" She waited for an answer expectantly.

"Plug in nose." is the answer.

一位母親十分擅長利用每一個機會教育孩子。她的兒子隻有3歲。一天，她拿著一個插頭，對兒子說:“看，這裏有兩個銅片，那它一定要插在有兩個孔的地方。你說它應該插在哪兒呢?”母親滿懷期待地等著兒子的回答。

“插在鼻子裏!”兒子回答說。

5 孩子的視角/Kid's Perspective

On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today'?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".

Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"

The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"

在上學第一天回家的路上，父親問兒子，“你今天在學校做了什麽？”

小男孩聳聳肩說:“沒什麽。”

為了把兒了引到談話中來，父親繼續著話題，說道:“那麽，你學習了任何數字、字母或者也許什麽特定的顏色嗎?”

困惑的孩子看著父親說:“爸爸，難道你是一個小男孩的時候沒有上過學嗎?”

6 上帝失蹤了/ God Is Missing

There were two brothers who were always up to some mischief. If somebody had been locked up in his house, or if somebody's dog had been painted green, one always knew who the culprits were-the brothers. One day the boys' mother asked a priest to talk to her sons and put the fear of God in them so that they would mend their ways. The priest asked her to send her sons to him one at a time. When the younger boy came, he made him sit and asked him: "Where is God?" The boy did not answer. The priest asked again, in a louder voice: "Where is God?" The boy remained silent. But when the priest asked the same question for a third time, the boy jumped up and ran away. He went straight to his brother. "We are in big trouble!" he gasped. "What's wrong'?" asked the older boy, warily, wondering which of their sins had caught up with them. "God is missing," said the youngster, "and they think we have something to do with it!"

有兩兄弟總是搞惡作劇。如果有人被鎖在自己的房子裏，或者誰家的狗被漆成了綠色，人們總知道誰是罪魁禍首—兄弟倆。一天，男孩的母親請牧師和她的兒子們談談，讓他們對上帝感到敬畏，以便他們能改善他們的行為。牧師叫她把兩兄弟一個一個地送過來。年幼一些的孩子過來了，牧師讓他坐下，問他:“上帝在哪裏?”男孩沒有回答。牧師又問，這次聲音更大了:“上帝在哪裏?”男孩仍然保持沉默。當牧師第三次問同樣的問題時，男孩跳起來跑走了。他直奔向他的哥哥。“我們有大麻煩了!”他喘著氣說。“你怎麽了?”年長的男孩謹慎地問，想知道到底因為他們做的哪件壞事人們要逮捕他倆。“上帝不見了，”弟弟說，“他們認為這事和我們有關!”