1 我沒看到它 I didn’t see it
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?
Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.
2 幹一口吧！ Have a Shot!
The Irish doctor said to his patient," For the life of me, Paddy, I can't figure out what's wrong with you. It must be drink."
"That's all right, doc. I'll come back when you're sober."
3 愛護動物 Be Kind to Animals
The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with three iguanas, but when the man ordered four hamburgers with fries, the owner complied with a shrug. The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.
The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.
On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the owner couldn’t help making a remark. "You certainly seem to be an animal lover," he said.
"That's true," said the man, "and I'd like you to know how much we appreciate your letting us eat here. Some proprietors object."
"That's quite alright," said the shopkeeper.
"As a token of my appreciation, I'd like to give you this lobster." And the animal lover handed over a live, wriggling crustacean.
"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner."
"Oh, he's already had dinner. But I'm sure he'd love to take in a movie."
4 參觀養雞場 Visiting A Chicken Farm
One day, a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator, a chick just got out of its eggshell.
"It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the eggshell, isn't it?” the teacher said.
"Yes, sir," said one of the boys,”But it would be more wonderful if we knew that how a chick gets into its eggshell beforehand.”
5 我沒有聽 Wasn’t Listening
Mother asked her litter daughter who was reading a book, "What are you reading, dear?”
"I don’t know,”the litter girl answered.
"You don't know? But you were reading aloud, so you must know.”
"I was reading aloud, mummy, but I wasn't listening,” explained the child.
6 約會的話題 Subjects For A Date
A boy is about to go on his first date and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl, “Do you like spinach?” She says “No", and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the Iist. He asks, "Do yow have a brother?” Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question, “If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”
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