周末一笑：A burglar

1 入室盜竊者 A burglar

A man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You will get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no." said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."

 

2 還有一個餡餅 One more pie

The old lady was delighted with the gift the boy had brought to her.

"I'll see your mother tomorrow," she said, "And I'll thank her for this lovely pie."

"Um, if you don't mind," the boy said nervously, "could you thank her for two pies?"

3 會計師 An Accountant

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."

"Have you tried counting sheep?"

"That's the problem. I make a mistake and spend three hours trying to find it."

 

4 這是我的座位 This is my seat

It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a window seat.

After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored him and told him to go away.

"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."

 

5 這孩子可以待在這裏 The Child May Stay

One afternoon while I was talking to a professor, my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and，to my dismay，Lily sat down in the front row.

When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady，”he said，“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time，not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”

 

6 服從命令 To Obey Orders

My husband's first coaching experience was with a junior-high school basketball team. During a game，he sent in one of the youngest boys and gave him strict instructions. "You go after number twenty-one，Tony.”He said，"And follow him wherever he goes. Don't let him get away from you!”

A few minutes later my husband saw only four of his players on the court. There was Tony guarding 21，who had been lifted from the game and was sitting on the bench.

(from Internet)