Witty One Liners(zt)

Crazy Question and Answer

Crazy Q & A

1) Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

2) My father is so old that when he was in
school, history was called current affairs.

3) Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man
beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue
would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

4) Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a
good cook.

 

 

Some good punch lines

Some great punch lines
1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect.

2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

3. If I save time, when do I get it back?

4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.

 

Stupid Questions and Smart Answers

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

Witty One Liners

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in
mud.
After a while you realize that while you are getting
dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember
you when he is in trouble again.