my translation

6.昨天和同事去一手工作坊買皮帶，他左挑右挑不合意，最後選了根粗大的，說看起來拉風，老板HLL來了句：這根皮帶是拴狗的。我在旁邊臉都憋紅了。

My co-worker and I went to a workshop yesterday and I bought a belt. My co-worker seemed to have a hard time choosing his.Finally he chose a wide one which looks pretty cool. However, the owner HLL said:"I am sorry, that is a dog leash" , standing there I was stunned and my face got flushed.

7.剛看一個在蘇州公安局工作的哥們兒發的淫淫狀態笑抽我了：男女朋友分手，一個願意，一個不願意，這TM也報警！什麽都能報警？！那TM我沒女朋友能不能報警

Seeing a friend of mine who works for the police department of Suzhou complaining I laughed so hard:"a boyfriend and a girlfriend were to break up, one insisted to, and the other didn't want to.The thing was they called police! What the hack is going on? Every thing can report to the police? ! I don't have a girlfriend, so can I call police?"

 

16.前天晚上和朋友去吃砂鍋，露天座。快吃完的時候開始下雨了，我說你快點吃，雨落到碗裏了，他說沒事我頭大，然後他站起來用頭把碗遮住接著吃。我頓時石化了，沒想到頭大還有這好處。Sitting at a talbe outside a restauant,the night before my friend and I ate hot pot. It started to rain before we almost finished our food, so I said:"hurry up dude, the raindrops fall into your bowl", but he said:"not a big deal man, I've got a big head", and then he stood up and covered his bowl with his head and he continued to eat. All of a sudden I was almost petrified by seeing all this.I never thought that having a big head could bring this sort of benefit.