Your wife is insane as my husband

These kind of peoples have personality disorders, they will be mad at other peoples all the time, small thing, big thing, and even nothing happended, they are more serious at home, a little better in office.

When they are young, their parents spoiled them too much. they will do as these insane requires;
when they have a family, they require their parters to be the victims just like you and me.
when they are old, all their kids: daughter and granddaughter anyway eveybody need to take care of their mood, need to pick every word you say to them careful, mostly respective, anyway, it is really hard to deal with these insanes, BTW, usually these kind of diseases are genetic. you can trace back in their family.

When my daughter was 3 years old, ever threaten her grandpa "I will call the police if you continue to yell at my nice grandma" that is them, so if you can't deal with her anymore, just leave her, she will not change for you anyway. Good luck to you.