H1 first, then AP.

1. 我們還是希望用我的H簽證回美，這樣能保住我的獨立身份。但不知風險有多大?
Try to get H1 visa first. If denied, use AP.

2. 如果我填156申請H-1簽證時，有一欄問是否曾申請過移民, 我該怎麽填？填“是”是否意味著肯定拿不到簽證? 填“否”是否意味著撒謊後果更嚴重？
Answer "yes". If you are asked, then tell the VO your 485 is pending. Pending 485 won't affect your H1 visa application.

2。有朋友建議申請AP做backup，隻要能拿到H簽證，不用AP就是了.可是，如果我五月份走，現在申請，走之前可能下不來。我可以人先走讓老公替我辦理嗎？
No. You should have AP approved before you leave US. Theoretically, the immigration officer may deny your AP if they find out that you have already left US from your surrendered I-94.

3. 我們遞485時我的身份是F-1 OPT，轉了H-1後沒有通知移民局，會不會影響我的AP申請審批？如果會影響的話，我不等結果而提前走人是不是太冒風險？
It won't affect your AP. However, you should wait until you get your AP before you leave US. Otherwise, you will solely depend on getting your H1 visa to enter US.

If you use AP, you need EAD to return to your work.