如此這樣，本周已過一半，才有時間閑下來寫一寫主日聽神借著牧師之口傳給我的信息。周日晚上工作到淩晨，周一周二也被工作塞得滿滿當當，睡眠嚴重不足。我跟朋友抱怨說，後悔來工業界了，後悔來這個公司。說此話，沒有任何矯情抑或強說愁的成分，是真的後悔。就如同當年後悔出國，後悔讀博一般，也許是個人習慣性後悔，總覺得另一條路會比現在更開心。先不說這些吧，總結一下主日信息。
主日經文來自約翰福音第一章。
“There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”
John 1:6-13 ESV
牧師的信息給我印象很深的是對於第七節和第十二節中believe的講解。God-given believe. Believe是約翰福音中一個非常重要的詞。兩個John，一個施洗約翰，一個寫福音書和啟示錄的使徒約翰。The former as pre Jesus John saying Jesus is coming, he is the son of God, he is the Christ, life is found in Him. And the latter as post ascension John saying Jesus is the light, he is the son of God, he is the Christ, life is found in Him. Both of them bear the witnesses and testify that Jesus is the light, one before one after Jesus. And message is the same: believe in Jesus. 當約翰在這本福音書中提到believe，前麵從來不會有形容詞或者副詞。It's always just believe. It's not radically believe, it's not with your whole heart to believe, it's not deeply or intensively or sincerely believe. Just believe. Why? Because to believe is to receive something. But when you add an adverb or an adjective in front of it, it seems like we can control it and we can do it ourselves. It feels like there is something I can control in my hand. But a single word believe, means that I have received that from our Lord, the gift of believe.
I guess this the whole message I received on this Sunday worship. But this message encourages me the whole week so far, knowing that how amazing the grace is that God gives this "believe" to me, so that I can have eternal life in Him and only in Him. Every time I feel so weary and weak, feel so doubtful, not so clear why things go this way, or feel like I couldn't believe in Him. I am always struggling by myself and always use my own way and strength to try to go back to that "believe". But all my endeavors are in vain. All I need to do is to pray to Him and ask for "believe", ask for wisdom, ask for strength, ask for that my heart and soul can be fulfilled solely by Him. Because "believe" is a wonderful gift from God, and only from God.
林朗
