南山鬆

陽光明媚清風起，微波蕩漾碧藍天。

首頁文章列表博文目錄

個人資料

南山鬆 (熱門博主)

給我悄悄話

博客訪問：

周末一笑：摔倒的女人

(2014-09-13 04:08:54) 下一個

1 A Woman Who Fell摔倒的女人
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從後麵衝過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地麵上失了腳，仰麵滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？”

2 I Want to Get Out我要出去

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.

The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted ,"there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in-"

"I don't want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out ."

　　　　在淩晨兩點，酒吧店主鎖了店門，回家睡覺。他剛躺下幾分鍾，這時電話響了。“你早上幾點營業？”他聽到一位明顯已醉醺醺的男子的聲音。

　　　　店主非常氣憤，砰地一聲掛上電話又上床去睡。幾分鍾後又有一個電話，他聽到還是那個聲音問同樣的問題。“聽著，”店主嚷道，“不要問我什麽時候營業，因為我不會讓你這種人進----”

“我不是想進來，”那人打斷他的話，“我要出去。”

3 I've Just Bitten My Tongue我剛咬破自己的舌頭

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

“我們有毒嗎？”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。

“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個幹什麽？”

“因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”

4 Job Technique工作技巧

Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to show up. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. How would our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the door and asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"

"Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.

"Works every time," the driver said with a wink.

　　　　在瓦湖島上度假時，我們坐在旅遊車裏等候掉隊的人。一位男子，明顯不是和我們一起的，朝旅遊車走來並要上車。司機會怎麽處理這種情況呢？我們都拭目以待。司機拉長了臉，向車門靠過去，問道：“先生，是去天體營嗎？”

“哦，不，”剛想乘車的男子回答說，迅速轉身而逃。

“每次都管用，”司機眨巴了一下眼睛說。

5 My wife Thinks So我老婆這樣認為

Reading water meters in an unfamiliar part of town, I came upon a house with no number. Then I noticed an elderly man gardening at the first house on that block.

"Excuse me," I said to him. "Are you Number One?"

He smiled and replied, "My wife thinks so!"

　　　　在城區陌生地段查讀水表時，我發現一處房子沒有門牌號。接著，我看到這個街區的第一幢房子前有一位老人在養花。

“打擾，”我對他說，“您是第一（號）嗎？”

　　　　他笑了，回答說：“我老伴是這樣認為的。”

6 I'm a Police Officer我是警察

When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by two ferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they tore out into the yard.

Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's all right, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."

"Not a very brave one," she observed.

　　　　在我丈夫傑克還是警察的時候，一次他走近有兩隻惡狗看守的庭院。那兩隻狗奮力地撲抓紗門，把門弄開了並衝到院子裏。

　　　　傑克反應迅速，三步並兩步地跨入房子裏，牢牢地關上身後的門。“沒事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”

“可不是很勇敢的一個。”她淡淡地說。

[ 打印 ]

[ 加入書簽 ]