為你千萬遍---讀《追風箏的人》
文章來源: 暖冬cool夏2019-09-04 23:34:37
勞動節長周末,在家找書看時,看到書架子上的一本落了不少灰塵的小說The Kite Runner《追風箏的人》,想起那是女兒高中同學送給她的,那位同學的父母是從巴基斯坦移民來的。看著書封麵頂部的"紐約時報最佳暢銷書"的字樣,我撣去灰塵,花了一個周末讀完了它。It's sn easy read.
 
小說以二十世紀七十年代阿富汗首都喀布爾為主要背景,講述了一個發生在富裕家庭的故事。Amir就是這富家的獨子,母親生下他就去世了。 他有一個小他一歲、情同手足的玩伴Hassan,兩人從小一起長大,如果說Amir開口說的第一個字是爸爸Baba, 那麽Hassan開口說的第一個字是Amir。他們生活在同一個屋簷下(廣義上),喝著同一個奶媽的奶水長大。不同的是,Hassan是Amir家仆人的兒子, 並不住在他家的洋房裏,住的是後院簡易的平房裏。 少爺Amir理所當然地享受著Hassan和Hassan爸爸Ali的服侍。他每天上學前的早餐和衣褲是Hassan準備,他沒人玩的時候,是Hassan無怨無悔陪其左右,陪他玩耍。 少爺Amir去上學了,Hassan在家做家事,沒有學上,他大字不識,卻是Amir故事的忠實聽眾。
 
Amir的父親是個遠近聞名的富商,不僅生意做得好,好善樂施,接濟四鄰百姓,還是人們心中的"打虎英雄"。不料兒子Amir卻生性懦弱,與父親期盼中的剛毅男孩相去甚遠,讓父親十分失望。 Amir雖然膽小,卻熱愛寫作,寫得一手好文,總想因此得到父親賞識,而父親卻從不對遞上來的稿子正眼瞧一眼。父子間的這種疏遠、僵硬關係讓Amir非常渴望父愛,渴望得到父親對自己的認可。
 
這樣的機會終於來了。一年一度的放風箏比賽要在Amir十二歲那年的冬天舉行。Amir是個放風箏的高手,有Hassan做他的搭檔,兩人配合默契,一個管天一個管線,一個放風箏,一個在最終風箏下落後追逐著它的方向撿回風箏,因為勝利者一定要以風箏在握為準。那一次比賽,Amir贏了,他的風箏在百餘隻風箏中脫穎而出,鏖戰群雄,成了最後一隻飄蕩在藍天上的風箏。結束後,Hassan一個人跑著去撿風箏。Amir等不來Hassan,就隻身去尋找,卻不料看見了悲慘的一幕。Hassan被三個少年惡霸圍住在小巷裏,欲奪走風箏。死死把風箏抱在懷裏不放的Hassan,最後被那個為首的無賴雞奸了。而這一幕被Amir看到了,懦弱的他選擇了逃離現場,可從此卻無法麵對自己。Hassan的時常出現,連同他看到的那條斑斑血跡的褲子,像幽靈一樣拷問著他的良心,讓他痛苦糾結,不能自拔。
 
十三歲生日那年,因著放風箏冠軍的榮耀,父親邀請了四百多人,在自己的大豪宅裏為Amir舉辦了盛大的生日party, 並送給他一隻高檔手表。被愧疚心、自卑心折磨得無地自容無法逃脫的他,卻把手表和收到的一些現金偷偷放在Hassan的席子下麵,以此栽贓Hassan,達到攆他走的目的。Hassan明知是栽贓陷害,為了Amir卻承認了下來。Hassan的爸爸知道內情後,執意要離開了主人家。一個大雨如注的早晨,父子倆離開了這個他們視之為家的地方,離開了喀布爾,投奔鄉下親戚家。 一個為你(Amir)千遍萬遍也願意( For you, a thousand times over")的Hassan從此遠走他鄉,不再相見。
 
故事讀到這裏,我感動涕零。為Hassan的遭遇,他的忠誠、善良而動容。 他就像作者說的一隻羔羊,任人宰割,不知抗爭,犧牲自己成全主人。
 
故事講到這裏,卻隻有小說的一半,高潮還在下麵。不久,俄國軍隊入侵阿富汗。Amir父子不得已背井離鄉,從阿富汗逃亡到巴基斯坦,又輾轉到了美國。後來父親得癌症去世了。二十年後,38歲的Amir應約再次赴阿富汗,卻得知了一個天大的秘密: Hassan是他的half brother, 同父異母的兄弟。Amir這才回想起父親對Hassan的種種關懷和愛撫,同時也想起父親曾經告誡過他的一句話,這世界上唯一的罪是偷竊: "When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal a wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. There is no act more wretched than stealing."當你殺害一個人,你偷走一條性命,你偷走他妻子身為人婦的權利,奪走他子女的父親。當你說謊時,你偷走別人知道真相的權利。當你欺騙時,你偷走公平的權利。沒有比偷竊更罪大惡極令人痛心疾首了的。    
 
而他父親自己不也是一個罪人嗎?他偷人,偷了一個跟了他四十年的仆人的老婆,最後眼睜睜地看著自己的親兒子絕塵而去,至死也沒有再見一麵。他帶著這個秘密,這樣的負罪心死去,而Hassan至死也不知情。這是何等的罪孽啊。
 
小說到這裏寫得是成功的,至少煽動了我一個讀者的情感。他把愛與罰,罪與贖,正義和邪惡,謊言背叛與誠實忠誠,刻畫得淋漓盡致,同時又把他們置身於曆史背景下,向全世界描述阿富汗人民曾經擁有的安定生活,戰爭的生靈塗炭,戰後的滿目瘡痍千瘡百孔,根深蒂固的強烈種族歧視,和由此帶給弱勢群體的無邊掙紮和痛苦,讓畫麵交疊,讓人性的善惡呈現,讓人對社會底層人民的遭遇扼腕長歎。
 
小說一度在《紐約時報》的排行榜上居高不下而名噪一時,作為第一本介紹阿富汗的英文小說,作為第一代移民,一個15歲才踏上美國國土的作者,這樣的語言,這樣的文筆無可挑剔。然而,後半截故事(講移民)的編排寫作卻有落入俗套之嫌,給人好萊塢似結局的生硬感。而作者本人的親美立場 ,比如小說裏借父親之口說出的,這世界上隻有三位可以被稱之為堂堂君子的人,一是美國,二是英國,三是以色列, 加上小說的一些獵奇性或許都為這本小說的暢銷起到推波助燃的功效。
 
 

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09/04/2019 Journal

 I woke up to a warm and muggy morning. Having accustomed to the dry and mild summer here in southern CA, I know that an autumn morning like this is a barometer of another sweltering day. After breakfast was served and done, I entered the closet for the change. A striped dress of white and black came to my sight.  For the whole summer, dresses have been hanging idly in the closet, as wearing them in the cool weather is an option, plus most daytime is spent in an air-conditioned office.  But today may be the day to put it on, I told myself.  
The morning breeze caressed my naked arms, fluttering the skirt hem as I walked towards the office building. It will be another workday, not much to look forward to. But a change of attire somehow brought forth a change of mood, not just the feel of lightness. Some kind compliments added on that. For a moment, I was reminded of the summers in China, where girls are more dressed up in skirts or dresses, floral or solid color, with myriad patterns and styles. Thanks to them, my youth and summers were remembered as colorful.
After lunch, I was about to rest in the car for a while.  The scorching sun, with the moist in the air, turned the parking lot to a sizzling ground.  The car, after being baked in the sun for a morning, was like an oven now. I moved it to a shady spot under a tree and rolled down all the windows. The wind from the street dispersed the heat a little bit, but it was far from enough to keep me in the car. I got out and walked back in the heat to the office without a desired nap.
As I hit the keyboard to unlock the screen, the beautiful desktop picture beckoned me welcomingly. It's a new one today, equally breathtaking as the last one.  These wonderfully imbedded photos, periodically changing and alternating, transport me to the distant land, where flowers bloom next to the crimson-colored soaring stones or the undulating mountains, as shown here. Unknown the places are to me and most of which I may never physically be able to step on in my life, viewing it alone gives me a getaway and some imaginations. My eyes lingered as I relished at the scenes.

 

 

I had my second tooth crown yesterday. The first one was done a couple of months ago, as a root- canaled tooth asked for it. But this one has an option of being filled or crowned. The dentist suggested a crown, of course, and I did not question it. Hopefully the crown protects the tooth as he claimed, and that the crown could last at least ten years before it wears out.
It is September now, three more months to go before the year draws to a close. Then it will be another year……