下星期就是感恩節了, 這就準備去看女兒了。昨晚想起該準備行裝了，就給她發了個微信，問她需要從家裏帶些什麽。不見她回複。又text她，還不見回複。女兒一個人住，最近一個多星期沒聯係，心裏不放心，馬上拎起電話撥了過去。好在一聲嘟之後，她就接了。
那時七點多了，她說自己才下班到家，還沒有吃晚飯。我說“媽媽知道你安全就好，不跟你多說了，你趕緊去忙。” 不料，女兒說，“媽媽，我不餓，我不忙，我要跟你說說話。” 女兒一定想家了。
就這樣，我們從工作聊到天氣，聊到她同事，聊這座城市，她說自己過得還不錯，隻是那裏天氣冷，風大，皮膚幹裂了，想讓我幫著看看更好的風衣手套之類的。加州長大的孩子，開始懷念這裏四季的陽光溫暖，傍晚美麗的日落和繁華的城市了。
這就自然想起家中還有幾條自己幾年前在她上大學時給她打的圍巾，其中一兩條漂亮的上次已經帶走了，剩下的這次也準備一起帶上吧。
話說這打毛衣活，還是在讀大學時學會的。那時物質條件不像今天。當宿舍裏有人帶了個頭打起毛衣，整一層樓裏就像一股熱風席卷，很快，宿舍裏人手四根毛線針，一團毛線球，大家埋頭坐在床前打，為自己、為男朋友添溫暖增風姿。一時間，棒針麻花成了冬天毛衣的最時尚編織，鏤空開司米成了春天校園的一道風景。而我一個好學生，也經不起誘惑，將手中的書本和筆墨撂一邊，也拿起針線加入作戰行列。為打好一隻袖子，收好領口，拆了又打，打了又拆；為趕活，廢寢忘食，挑燈夜戰，樂此不疲。當看到美麗的圖案從自己手中誕生，當合身獨創的衣服穿上身後，如果這時有個人讚美一番或打聽針法時， 那種喜悅會一掃曾經為之付出所帶來的疲倦，隨之而來的是琢磨著下一件該打什麽。
後來，有了織毛衣的機器，可以從眾多五花八門的開司米羊毛線中選擇喜歡的花色，或單色或混合，又可以量體裁衣，而機器編出來的衣裙又細密又漂亮。再後來，自己工作了，生孩子，出國了，全球商業發展迅猛，這門手藝就擱置一邊，更加無了用武之地。
女兒在此讀小學五六年級時，學校組織了一次一星期的“室外教育”。老師通知家長做好禦寒準備工作，因為去的是一個海拔多少千米高的山野中。那一刻，突然想起自己還有這一編織手藝，趕緊當天衝進商店買線買針，花了一天一夜時間趕出一條不太長、窄窄的圍巾。女兒離家出發那天，反複交代，如果冷了，把圍巾圍上，一條圍巾抵一件衣服......
隨同一起幫忙的家長從山上發來照片，女兒身穿褐色厚外套，站在人群中，淡藍色的圍巾點綴著胸前，顯得那麽醒目......
六年前換工作，公司有個從阿根廷移民來的女同事，很喜歡編織，重又勾起我的欲望。我把家裏多年前打的兩件全毛毛衣拆了，其中一件是自己給LD打過的唯一一件全毛毛衣，重新打成了兩條又大又寬的圍巾，一條給了女兒, 一條掛在自己公司椅背上，在辦公室冷氣開的太足的日子裏，可以保護雙肩不著涼。
女兒上大學那年，回國時從國內帶了上好的羊絨線，給她打了好幾條圍巾，估計其中有的都沒用上。而今她舉遷去了更冷的地方工作，這些閑置在家中衣櫃裏的長圍巾大概有了用武之地了。今特意存照於此(第一條不是羊絨的)，另外幾條以後有機會補上 (又11／18在車庫碰巧看到我給女兒大的唯一的一頂帽子， 但是那條配套的圍巾找不到了，中間是條大麻花，這些線在美國買的，全晴綸的，質量不好)。(BTW，今早下了點雨，中午出去，天空的雲朵漂亮極了，可惜不能完全拍下來。附上隨手照的。)(答應網友的，又加了11／20剛剛拍的，一條很大很寬的圍巾，舊全毛毛衣拆了打的，個人覺得好看，披上以後，那條麻花是橫著的)。
LD總是不讚成我把時間浪費在這上麵，總說，什麽年代了，這幾(十)塊錢的東西買就好了。我也同意他的說法，人生有更重要的事要做。但是我從不後悔，時間不就是拿來浪費的嗎，至少這浪費掉的時間還是留下了點什麽，這一針一線，細細密密，織進我多少柔情愛意，儲存著多少記憶在其中，給自己，給女兒留下些許美好的物件去溫暖、去品用。
Last night’s phone conversation with my daughter lasted an hour, in which she told me that the weather was cold, cloudy and windy there. Right off the phone, I started searching in the wardrobe for the scarves I knitted for her a few years ago. She took one or two with her, leaving at home the rest.
My knitting skill was picked up at the college, when one experienced girl started, and soon almost everyone in the dorm bought yarns, sticks and knitting books. We were like tireless machines knitting day and night, and if the try-on turned out unsatisfactorily, long curly yarns would be pulled out of the finished product to be redone from the scratch. Barely anyone complained about sitting there for hours having back pains or neck pains, as the output of a finished sweater was so encouraging and rewarding. For a time, we were in relentless quests for more fashionable patterns or seasonal styles.
I was a good student then, but also could not resist the temptation of owning one, a sweater out of my own hand and to my liking. Inevitably I was among them, squeezing time out of sleeping, eating, reading, studying or other activities. It was just such a fad.
The skill was never perfected after I came here in the U.S. Living in Southern CA, you really don’t need a scarf. Plus, in a commercial world like this, who would still need knitting when buying one costs only a few bucks?
Not until the year when my daughter was at her sixth grade, the school organized a one-week outdoor education in an area high up in the mountain. A teacher's notice came to the parents, reminding us that the temperature could be low there, and we were asked to equip our kids with sufficient outfits. That moment, the idea of knitting her a scarf surfaced. I rushed to the stores for yarns and knitting sticks, and within a day and a night, a not-very-long and narrow scarf was tucked into her packed luggage.
She wore it, and in the pictures sent back to us from the chaperon mom, the familiar blue-white colored scarf around her neck with a little tail in front of her chest stood out from the crowd. For the whole week, the weather was actually not as cold as it was warned, but wearing it must have reminded her of sweet home and the Mom, as the love knitted into each stitch being transmitted in the isolated place.
A co-worker at my current company, an immigrant from Argentina, loves knitting. It triggered me to pick up knitting again when my daughter was accepted into a college at the Northern California. On my trip back to China in 2014, I spent more than $60 to buy the cashmere yarns. The envisioning of its end products excited me.
In the ensuing months, I found myself sitting in the couch or in front of the TV, knitting with the aging eyesight. My husband was very disapproved of my wasting time over it. True, it is time-consuming, especially with thin thread and small size needles. I remember I got agitated towards the end pushing myself to finish.
I probably won’t knit again. But I never regret doing that, as the scarves sitting in the wardrobe, or tying around my daughter’s neck to ward off the cold, will always be a testimony of my passion and my love, an imprint I left for myself and for my daughter.
|
