 |
已經過1點，明天要早起，但我卻不想睡覺。很多事情在心裏，剛剛給Miho打了電話，聊了好久。我對和D的relationship沒有信心，我們相互了解不夠，且離彼此那樣遠，我連普通的relationship都弄得一塌糊塗，更何況long distance. To be honest, I dont want myself to get hurt, and I am afraid that I would care more than he does, cos usually who cares more would get hurt more when things fall apart. I know I am being selfish on this, but I am really afraid of some shit down the road which would break my heart. Now I totally understand why Rob decided not to see me again, he was afraid of the same thing I am afraid of now. I am not better than him on any sense, he could make the decision, but I cant. I do like D a lot, but... How can you fall in love with someone without caring about him/her much? I guess I have been single for too long, and very used to the single status, think less, care less, everything casual, no responsibilities, and would never get hurt cos I dont give shit.
And long distance, its just... suffering, suffering, suffering, lol. Always between the sweetest memories and the hopes for the next time, its exhausting. And when I need someone standing by me, he would never be here... How this thing could work out? How far we could go for love? How much suffering we have to go through?
我好像站在懸崖邊，琢磨著跳，還是不跳，下麵究竟是水，還是岩石？Miho建議我keep my options open，她最近處於空檔期，又要拉著我去hunting，I am her best "wingman". I guess, only time, can tell everything, wish I could see through all the confusion.
|
|
|
